March 23, 2013
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Mia is the new girl at school, a funny, confident, drama queen. Ella and her friends are sure there's nothing suspicious about her. But when a old amethyst necklace helps them discover Mia's real home, they find themselves facing unimaginable dangers as they attempt to get back to reality. Chapter 1: The necklace Strolling along with my best friends by my side, I could honestly say that this was the first time I’d been happy in weeks. For just a few hours, I’d been able to forget my troubles and just enjoy being around people who didn't hide things from me.

I think my friends knew something was bothering me, but they accepted that I wasn't ready to talk about it. Instead of trying to draw it out of me, they did their best to distract me, gossiping and laughing like normal.

“Look!” said Mia excitedly, pointing at a newly opened shop.

Mia had only recently joined our group, after starting at our school a few weeks ago. She was funny and confident, a complete drama queen, with her own unique style. Not afraid to stand out from the crowd, her wardrobe mainly consisted of bargains picked up at vintage shops. She was pretty, but as long as she liked the way she looked, didn't care what other people thought (unlike some girls I know!).

We all looked towards the shop she was pointing at. My first thought was: ‘really Mia?’

The shop’s shabby exterior wasn't exactly a customer magnet. Paint was peeling off the window frames, and the name of the shop, ‘Hidden Treasures’, was barely visible, written in a tacky gold color above the door.

However, I understood why Mia wanted to look inside. Clothes that matched her style perfectly decorated the windows – for bargain prices too.

Amber rolled her eyes, looking at the shop as if it was chewing gum on her shoe. Sometimes, I couldn't believe how much my old best friend had changed. Now, all she cared about was how she looked and what other people thought of her. I have to admit, she was pretty, but unlike Mia, she knew it. She was arrogant, and acted like she looked down on the rest of us – especially Mia. But if Mia cared about Amber’s opinion, she did a good job of hiding it.

“Come on, Amber. We all spent hours trailing around TopShop with you,” Rosie was the mother hen of our group, considerate and caring, the one who looked after us all.

Amber looked as if she was about to disagree, but merely shrugged and rolled her eyes again, before following us into the shop.

The dim light inside was a sharp contrast compared to the floods of sunlight on the high street. I had to blink several times in order to make out the delicate, old fashioned furniture in the room – most of which were almost collapsing under piles of clothes. The dilapidated exterior of the shop certainly didn't do the inside justice. It was like Aladdin’s cave. Exquisite jewellery and beautiful clothes were scattered around the room and a towering glass cabinet took up almost all of the back wall.

Following Mia shyly, I ran my fingers over a soft velvet scarf on a table. Rosie and Jasmine were captivated by the almost magical objects too. Only Amber remained unimpressed. But I think that, secretly, she also admired the stunning artifacts.

The cabinet at the back of the room looked like it was constantly observing us, like those creepy portraits in old houses, deciding whether we were a threat or not.

Mia halted abruptly, causing me to walk straight into her.
“Mia!” I hissed, slightly annoyed. It was so eerie, so mystical in the shop, I felt as if someone would appear and pounce on me just for speaking. She didn't say anything. Just stood and stared at something I couldn't see, her eyes glazed over like she was being hypnotized.

Looking over her shoulder. I gasped in surprise. A single necklace was sheltered by the intimidating glass cabinet. Resting on a purple velvet cushion, the gold chain of the necklace wasn't at all tarnished. A single jewel hung from the center. An amethyst, I think. It was brilliant, beautiful, breath taking. The sort of thing you imagine only exists in fairy tales. Worn by the lucky princess, who is envied by all the day dreaming little girls.

It felt like an invisible wire was dragging me closer. I was living in a bubble, a magical bubble in which no one else existed. I was unaware of everything else around me. Nothing mattered – except the necklace.

A heavy mist surrounded me. I felt dizzy, but amazingly happy at the same time. Memories of long ago times played inside my head; memories I had done my best to lock away recently.

All too soon, the mist evaporated, my recollections fading with it. But I knew what I had to do to make the memories come back. I reached out, my finger-tips clawing desperately at thin air, before closing around a dainty key.

“I wouldn't do that if I were you,” a voice managed to penetrate my magic bubble, but only for a second. The voice didn't belong to any of my friends. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw them jump in shock.

In the corner, partially hidden by shadows, sat an old woman. She had long, silver hair, tumbling down her back in metallic waves. She was wearing a luxurious dress, not unlike the ones in the shop. But I only noticed those things for a second; it was her eyes that caught my attention. Clear, calm, crystal blue eyes, like a pool on a windless day. It was like she could see inside your soul with those eyes.

Beside me, I could see Mia also staring at the woman, before the necklace regained control of my head. This time, nothing could stop me from achieving my goal. Even with the old woman’s words still ringing in my ears, I turned the key. The door gave a satisfying click as it swung open, leaving the necklace unprotected.

With Mia at my side (she was also enchanted by the necklace’s beauty), I stretched out my arm. The memories came flooding back as I curled my fingers around the chain, pulling it gently towards me.

For a few seconds, my life was perfect. Just by holding the necklace, I could force any unwanted thoughts back into their titanium box.

Then nothing.

My illusions ideas of happy days with my whole family behind me were shattered; leaving behind only cruel, crushing realities

That was when the room started spinning. Spinning faster and faster, until the only things I could see were hundreds of blurred colors. Fear clutched tightly at my chest, suffocating me, crushing my lungs until I could no longer breathe. My brain began to shut down – I couldn't think, I couldn't move. I was paralyzed.

Reacting on pure adrenaline, I grabbed Mia’s arm, determined not to let go. My feet lifted off the ground – It felt like my body was weightless. I remember the terrifying spinning stop, and Mia shaking my shoulder.

Then I blacked out.

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This article has 20 comments. Post your own now!

AnInkling said...
Oct. 16, 2013 at 6:19 pm
I liked it. Have you thought about deleting this "article" and making it a novel instead? It would be easier to read, and then you could add more chapters. As for the writing, you did a pretty good job. I would suggest less explanation and rather for you to show the character of the girls through their actions instead of you just telling the reader what they are like. Also the "old creapy, wise lady with a warning" is very over used, so you might want to try and have the warn... (more »)
holly1999 replied...
Oct. 17, 2013 at 4:15 am
Thank you for your advice. Origninally, I tried submitting this as a novel, but it wasn't long enough. I've just started writing the second chapter, so I should be able to re-submit it as a novel soon. Thanks again for reading! :)
TimexxFlies said...
Oct. 14, 2013 at 1:42 pm
Hi it's TimexxFlies and I'm happy to say that so far you are in! I just need you to subscribe to me (by going to my profile and clicking "Email me when TimexxFlies submits work) and whne you do, get a hold of me some how (comment on my thread or on my work) and one of these days we will meet up on the Teen Ink chat and talk to each other!
holly1999 replied...
Oct. 14, 2013 at 2:39 pm
Thank you! I've subscribed to you and commented on the thread again :)
CrazySissi said...
Oct. 12, 2013 at 6:20 pm
You have a good use of imagery. Keep up the good work. There was one sentance that did not quite make sense because I think you forgot a word but other thatn that it was very good.
holly1999 replied...
Oct. 12, 2013 at 6:27 pm
Thank you                
LaChouette This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 12, 2013 at 5:44 pm
This is a really nice story! I love amethyst! It's so pretty! Overall, I think your story is really nice. Your descriptions are good and give a good picture of what this old store looks like. There are a few grammatical errors, but not too much. I hope you'll continue this because I'm curious about what is so mysterious about Mia and that necklace. Nice Job!
holly1999 replied...
Oct. 12, 2013 at 5:50 pm
Thank you! :)
Nannette_25 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 11, 2013 at 9:46 pm
LOVE your imagery. The scene that you set gives the perfect amount of suspense! Also, I love your characters. They have a wide range of personality.
holly1999 replied...
Oct. 12, 2013 at 5:49 pm
Thanks :)                 
Amaranthinium This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 15, 2013 at 5:53 pm
  Your story sounds awesome - I’m intrigued by what might be going on with the necklace, and where the main character is going to wake up after blacking out. I’d definitely keep reading if there were more. You also write very clearly, and you have some very nice descriptions and figurative language.   I’m also interested in your characters, because I get the feeling there’s a lot to find out about what has happened and will happen to these people. However... (more »)
holly1999 replied...
Oct. 12, 2013 at 5:49 pm
Thank you for your advice, it really helped when I was writing the next chapter :)
Laugh-it-Out This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 7, 2013 at 3:49 pm
Please tell me that there is more to this peice than just one chapter because you should keep going! Really good! Would. Love to find out what happens after she wakes up......or does she?
holly1999 replied...
Oct. 12, 2013 at 5:47 pm
I've just started writing it, almost finished. Glad you liked it :)
_Zavery_ said...
Apr. 2, 2013 at 9:53 pm
I was on the edge of my seat-- I liked the suspense. And the metaphors too =) keep it up
holly1999 replied...
Oct. 12, 2013 at 5:46 pm
Thank you! :)
holly1999 said...
Apr. 1, 2013 at 7:38 am
Thanks everyone :)
LexusMarie said...
Mar. 31, 2013 at 10:14 pm
You're a really, really great writer! I love this.. so interesting. It's really unique and I am really happy with this.. you're a GREAT writer. Keep it up! Great title and photo and story overall. Xx!
Atl.Braves03 said...
Mar. 31, 2013 at 3:43 pm
Very interesting. I would try to avoid the clique character though. Instead of making one character perfect and another character bad, try blending the lines a little. You want the audience to be able to relate to each character. Besides that, I think it was a good start. Good luck on the rest of the story. I'm sure it will be great! :)
dagnytaggart said...
Mar. 30, 2013 at 9:17 pm
This is really interesting, and a great start. The personalities of the characters came through really well. Also, great descriptions! I need to find me a store like that!
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