Saving Humanity

December 27, 2012
By GuardianoftheStars GOLD, Shongaloo, Louisiana
GuardianoftheStars GOLD, Shongaloo, Louisiana
17 articles 0 photos 495 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Let's tell young people the best books are yet to be written; the best painting, the best government, the best of everything is yet to be done by them."
-John Erslcine


It all started eleven years ago. I was only eight when the Sickness came. No one is sure how it started, only that it killed everyone it came in contact with. No one was spared: not the rich or the poor, not the famous or the commoner, not the politician or the mail man. Death became so vast that people stopped disposing of the bodies because there was too many and no one to bury them.
In a desperate attempt to preserve the human species the American government gathered together and built the Network Arena in the least Infected area of the United States and began to hunt for survivors who weren’t Sick yet. By then I was eleven and orphaned, living off of the land and the forest that surrounded my home. I still don’t know how they even found me, but they came and made sure I wasn’t Sick before taking me away to the Arena where I was given a new home and instantly became highly prized. Out of the five thousand that were saved only seventy-eight were children. We were the last hope for America to continue in some form or fashion.
We were assigned to ‘partners’. Only two people lived in each apartment and we were all given a job. There were doctors, farmers, teachers, scientists, botanists, and every other calling needed to run a successful establishment. For the first few years we all were required to wear full body suits anywhere outside of our personal room and apartment, just to make sure that the Sickness hadn’t somehow crept in. We finally got to take them off by the time I was fourteen. I was ecstatic to finally stuff the stupid thing in the back of my closet, but the others, especially the adults, were not.
The world had to keep moving on. We had to keep building, especially with the odds against us. But people were afraid of mingling, of other people, in case they would get Sick. People wouldn’t report to their posts and the Arena began to fall apart. That’s when the Network came into creation and six years after moving here it became a reality. We run our entire world, talk to everyone, survive without even leaving the comfort of our apartment, with it. We place a helmet on that is attached to the monitors and we control the factories making our clothes, the robots who tend to the animals, and the machines who clean the Arena. We even have online shopping malls where you actually can believe you are in a real live store. You can almost forget that that world is only a cyber one.

By the time I was seventeen, my new ‘mother’ retreated to the Network and hid there…along with everyone else. I tried it, but I missed real people. I missed talking to a person face to face. I missed seeing a smile. I missed hearing laughter- not those stupid ‘LOL’s. I wanted to be with a human not some watered down version looking at me though a screen.
That’s when I started to roam. I started walking along the hallways of the Arena, watching the robots as they swept the floors, washed the windows, delivered the supplies to each apartment each week-all of who were controlled by a human locked away in their room somewhere. Then I went into the courtyard where the pool was, sparkling clear but not a single soul in sight. I sat in the bleachers at the baseball field, but no one was playing. I walked the bike trail. I went inside of the mall. I played a game of pool at the pub. I read a book at the library. I drove an abandoned go-kart on the road. And then…I found the Exit.

Right now I am staring at it. It has been three months since I first found it. The first day I ran from it. Ran as fast as I could back to my apartment and jumped into a hot shower, ripping my clothes off and scrubbing myself so hard that I scraped off the top lair of dead skin completely and had the water up as high as it would run and so hot it scalded me. The entire time I was in there all I could think of was my parents as they died, how their bodies began to thrash into strange positions, their strangled screams, the blood that poured from their ears and noses and mouths, and most of all their eyes… the look in them in the last few moments before death as they realized they was no hope for them. I’m not sure how long I stood under the water before I stumbled out and pulled on a pair of clean clothes. I’m not sure how I had broken the vase in the hallway or knocked the rocking chair over in my haste to get to the bathroom to wash the imaginary germs off of me….what I’m most unsure about is how my ‘mother’ didn’t even hear me. How she didn’t notice me crashing through the apartment and the strangled cries I made as I could see my parents re-die inside of my head.

I don’t know why I am here again…maybe for answers or maybe to remember my past life. It had been a good one, a happy one. One where my mother’s arms were always open for me to fall into. One where my father rustles my hair. One where there was someone to notice when I needed a haircut. One where people knew I hated yogurt but loved Jell-O.

I run my hand through my too-long locks and then stuff both hands back into my pockets. The Exit is large, made of solid metal with no handles. Even if I wanted to get out I don’t think it is possible. I am locked here. Trapped under the glass sunroof and encircled by ten foot thick Walls with only one Exit. The very creation made to save me will be my tomb. The very thing made to preserve humanity will destroy it.

I slowly place my palm on the door, jerking it back only once before gently settling on it. The cold metal pierces my skin and makes my heart pound within my chest. It is like an electric shock. Like someone has awoken me. I press my palm harder into it. My breath kicks up a notch and my pulse becomes thundering in my ears. I am not sure if I am scared or excited but I really don’t care, it has been long since I really felt something. Whatever emotion is raging inside me is making me feel alive, something I haven’t felt for two years.

I smile. I can’t help it. I think I even laugh. The first sound I have made since the last time I was here. And it feels wonderful. I slap the door and laugh again, this time louder and it echoes around me. I listen to myself, the way my voice sounds horse from the lack of use and the occasional snort. The noise is so nice that I can’t help but wonder how in the world we had given this up.

“What’s so funny?”

I abruptly stop and turn on my heels to look behind me. A girl with half-curled half-straight brown hair stares at me with a bemused expression. My mouth is hanging open and my eyes are staring disbelievingly at her. She is the first human I have seen in over a year besides my ‘mother’. Is she even real or just a hologram or have I caught the Sickness and am hallucinating?

“Are…you impaired?” she asks concerned. Her voice rings out smoothly and her body is lean and fit, unlike most who spend most of their days in front of their Network all day and have turned fat and weak.

“My…”I swallow, trying to get the roughness out of my voice, “my discovery is what is funny… In a sad way.”

“What did you discover?” she looks at me, meeting my eyes. My ‘mother’ never does that anymore, hasn’t been able to for twenty months now.

“That…we are alive but…humanity is dying. It is…eroding away because people are only communicating with keyboards and screens. That they saved the people but not the persons.” My words sound forced. It feels strange and good at the same time to have a conversation vocally. My ‘mother’ and I hadn’t spoken in fifteen months. She was afraid talking to me would make her Infected. She thought that the air moving from my lips would kill her.

The girl cocks her head and we study each other. I read her body language. There are hard lines in her face, clearly showing the trials she has endured. Her eyes, silvery grey with a thin rim of gold to wrap around her pupil, say nothing gets past her. The way there are scars running up her arms and legs tell that she is a fighter, a survivor. The way she has her hands on her hips, states that she won’t take any crap. The way she bores into me tells me she sees the same things in me.

“I’m Alex.” She steps forward and extends her hand. I stare at it, wondering when the last time was that I made physical contact with someone- especially someone’s hands.
My gaze flickers up to her eyes and I read the challenge there. Daring me to accept her. To let her in, like everyone has forgotten how to. Once again I see my parents- the images in my mind so strong I have to remind myself that they aren’t really here. I see them laughing, holding hands, kissing me goodnight, giving me a piggyback ride , spinning me around, embracing each other- living not existing. Just like we are supposed to. Just like we’ve forgotten how to.

I clasp her hand and feel the pleasant warmth rippling off of her skin. I feel a shimmer run up my arm and I smile again, enjoying the rush of adrenaline that runs through my veins. “I’m Chance.”


The author's comments:
I took a new direction in my writing. Please leave thoughts about it if you like it or where I can improve. C:

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This article has 120 comments.


on Oct. 14 2013 at 9:09 pm
GuardianoftheStars GOLD, Shongaloo, Louisiana
17 articles 0 photos 495 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Let's tell young people the best books are yet to be written; the best painting, the best government, the best of everything is yet to be done by them."
-John Erslcine

Thank you for the pointers and thank you for reading!! 

on Oct. 14 2013 at 9:07 pm
GuardianoftheStars GOLD, Shongaloo, Louisiana
17 articles 0 photos 495 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Let's tell young people the best books are yet to be written; the best painting, the best government, the best of everything is yet to be done by them."
-John Erslcine

I'm still working on it. School has kinda put all of my hobbies on hold for the time being haha. :)

on Oct. 13 2013 at 6:24 am
Ericaflooze BRONZE, Mildura, Other
1 article 0 photos 7 comments
The thing I enjoyed most about this story is the strong sense of ambiguity it evokes in readers. I liked the way you convey a world wholly alien to our own. You leave the reader feeling slightly uncertain- this makes us want to read more, and to delve deeper into the story. I liked how you left the gender of the narrator unspecified, and only revealed his name at the end. There were a few minor grammatical errors and some problematic expression in places but this didn't effect the original content and the overall high quality of your writing. :) 

on Oct. 12 2013 at 8:08 pm
Get_Sherlock BRONZE, Waynesboro, Mississippi
2 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
We all go a little crazy sometimes. Haven't you?

I really liked this!I don't know what tp say that hasn't already been said, but I found it quite compelling. Have you completed the novel yet, because I'd love to check it out :)

on Oct. 12 2013 at 6:24 pm
GuardianoftheStars GOLD, Shongaloo, Louisiana
17 articles 0 photos 495 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Let's tell young people the best books are yet to be written; the best painting, the best government, the best of everything is yet to be done by them."
-John Erslcine

Thanks for reading!!!

holly1999 GOLD said...
on Oct. 12 2013 at 11:54 am
holly1999 GOLD, Middlesbrough, Other
12 articles 8 photos 114 comments

Favorite Quote:
'There was no need to clarify my finger snap, the implication was clear in the snap itself' - Magnus Bane

This is a very creative story and I like your ideas. I was drawn in from the beginning and I would love to read more.Your description was good, although it could have been a bit stronger in places. I like the name choice for the main character. Very creative, a good story and well written :)

on Sep. 24 2013 at 5:26 pm
GuardianoftheStars GOLD, Shongaloo, Louisiana
17 articles 0 photos 495 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Let's tell young people the best books are yet to be written; the best painting, the best government, the best of everything is yet to be done by them."
-John Erslcine

Curses. Spelling gets me again. *sigh* Anyways, thanks for reading and I'm glad you liked it!! :)

on Sep. 22 2013 at 3:02 pm
WishfulDoer GOLD, Portland, Oregon
14 articles 0 photos 69 comments

Favorite Quote:
If ignorance is bliss, why is our country so complicated?

This story flowed really well. There were a few spelling mistakes, but all in all it was a strong piece of writing. I liked the plot a lot, as well!

on Sep. 16 2013 at 9:24 am
GuardianoftheStars GOLD, Shongaloo, Louisiana
17 articles 0 photos 495 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Let's tell young people the best books are yet to be written; the best painting, the best government, the best of everything is yet to be done by them."
-John Erslcine

Thanks!! I'm Glad you liked it. :)

on Sep. 15 2013 at 5:16 pm
elycavill SILVER, Samobor, Other
5 articles 0 photos 186 comments

Favorite Quote:
Leave nothing but footprints,
Take nothing but pictures,
Kill nothing but time.

Really creative, and different somehow. And the name Chance is a fit. Great work!

on Sep. 8 2013 at 6:16 pm
GuardianoftheStars GOLD, Shongaloo, Louisiana
17 articles 0 photos 495 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Let's tell young people the best books are yet to be written; the best painting, the best government, the best of everything is yet to be done by them."
-John Erslcine

Thank you for the feedback and for reading.  It is much appreciated and the comments really help me.  The whole guessing part if Chance is a  boy or a girl was done purpously.  I wanted the reader to be keep guessing the whole time partly because Chance couldn't truly define himself (Yes, I imagin him as a boy) until he wasn't facing a real human. 

on Sep. 8 2013 at 9:37 am
Kestrel135 PLATINUM, Waterford, Connecticut
43 articles 0 photos 256 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Respect existence or expect resistance"

I love your ideas in the story. The whole concept was very creative and intruiging, and certain parts of your writing really drew me into the peice. However, I have to agree that in some standpoints, your wording was a bit timid, but that honestly didn't take away much from the story. The only thing that really confused me was that throughout the peice, I had to guess the whole time whether the character talking, Chance, was a guy or a girl. Otherwise, the intro was fantastic, the way you entered it in with a strong sentence, and then held it up with your mysterious listings of the dead. I loved it! 

on Sep. 2 2013 at 12:12 pm
GuardianoftheStars GOLD, Shongaloo, Louisiana
17 articles 0 photos 495 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Let's tell young people the best books are yet to be written; the best painting, the best government, the best of everything is yet to be done by them."
-John Erslcine

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it! :D

on Sep. 2 2013 at 11:58 am
LaChouette GOLD, Mount Vernon, New York
12 articles 0 photos 146 comments

Favorite Quote:
“And then there are the times when the wolves are silent and the moon is howling.”
- George Carlin

This is a very interesting story! Your idea is different and I like the idea of people losing face- to- face communication and then wrapping it up with your character meeting someone face- to- face. I like your name choice for your main character too! There were a few grammatical errors, but nothing major and it doesn't really take away from the story. It really draws you in :). Nice Job! 

on Sep. 1 2013 at 3:14 pm
GuardianoftheStars GOLD, Shongaloo, Louisiana
17 articles 0 photos 495 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Let's tell young people the best books are yet to be written; the best painting, the best government, the best of everything is yet to be done by them."
-John Erslcine

I am working on a novel (throwing so ideas around on how to make it into a novel) and it will contain a LOT more details to the Arena and Network. Just for information the ARENA is the(physical) inclosed area in which they live.  It is like a city that is compleatly surrounded by walls and has a glass roof overhead. The NETWORK is the techno world and, in the physical realm, doesn't exsit.  It is the virtual reality where everyone hides and runs the Arena. Basically the computers.   ANyways, thank you so much for reading my story and commenting!! :D

on Sep. 1 2013 at 5:58 am
HeatherOlivia GOLD, Solothurn, Other
16 articles 0 photos 86 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All things truly wicked start from innocence." - Ernest Hemingway

This is an incrediblely creative story. It's very different to any short story I've read on TeenInk before. I wanted to know more about the Arena and the Network badly. It made me keep reading and I really think you should expand on this idea and possibly right a novel. I'd love to learn more about this world you've created. Oh and I also like how his name is Chance, very creative. This was amazing, well done.

on Aug. 21 2013 at 9:55 pm
GuardianoftheStars GOLD, Shongaloo, Louisiana
17 articles 0 photos 495 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Let's tell young people the best books are yet to be written; the best painting, the best government, the best of everything is yet to be done by them."
-John Erslcine

Thanks for the feedback and for commenting! :)

on Aug. 20 2013 at 4:06 pm
KealliiRaycene BRONZE, Sumter, South Carolina
4 articles 0 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
So what? All writers are lunatics- Cornelia Funk

Hi, you responded on one of my forums and I am just getting a chance to respond, sorry for the delay! Anyway, I thought the story was really original and I liked the idea of Chance being so disgusted with nthe way they were being hidden away from humanity, it made sense that someone would think as he does. I enjoyed reading it from his point of view because I feel like it was portrayed differently from anything similar I have read, therefore making this piece stand out. A few parts, I wasn't particularly fond of the wording, but it could just be your style, it doesn't make the story bad, though. I think if you were to switch up a few words I would prefer it a little more, but I would read it either way! Great work!

on Aug. 12 2013 at 11:47 am
GuardianoftheStars GOLD, Shongaloo, Louisiana
17 articles 0 photos 495 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Let's tell young people the best books are yet to be written; the best painting, the best government, the best of everything is yet to be done by them."
-John Erslcine

Thank you so much for your feedback.  It is very helpful.  I will work on those problems that I have.  You're been very insightful, thanks. :)

on Aug. 11 2013 at 11:16 am
Amaranthinium GOLD, Dade City, Florida
10 articles 0 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do not let numbers tell you what to do. You are blood and earth, not theory and chalk." -Welcome to Night Vale

-As for the story itself, I was intrigued. I really like the whole "hiding in technology" thing. If this is just going to be a short story, then I’d like to know a little more about the Arena. What does it look like? How is it organized? Why is it called the Arena? Does it feel comfortable, sterile, claustrophobic? Also, I was confused about this “mother” thing - when did he get a mother? You said earlier that he just had a “partner.” And what does your character do with his spare time? They all have jobs, right? I think that you have a lot of really cool, interesting details that you kind of hinted at, but if you were to elaborate on them even a little bit, you could make this story even more unique. At any rate, I was interested the whole way through, and I hope you keep working at this story or others like it :)  


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