I stand quietly, leaning against the railing that separated this world, the stable and the connected, from the void of free-fall. My breath caught continuously as I grasped the bar, my hands moist with anticipation. I felt tears from my eyes gather and form into small moist droplets that lifted from my face into the pit. There was a tugging in my chest, a pulling towards the void that went on forever. There were no lights or sounds. I looked back to where warmth and feeling was, but there was nothing there for me. Not really. I inhaled deeply, feeling the nothingness coat my lungs and fill my blood with nonoxygen. The pull increased and my head swam with fear. I wasn't ready. I didn't want to go. I spent my life here; before I knew of the void. Before I knew there was somewhere to move on to. I pulled myself over the railing until I was straddling it; one leg stayed in reality whilst the other dangled into nothingness. I slipped the other leg over. I held on to the railing, my body on the other side of it now. There was no stability or reality. I felt my hands slip, and I let go. I drifted away, feeling my body dematerialize. My bits and pieces drifted off in different directions, breaking down to molecules and atoms until I was nothing but mass, existing in lifeless space. My consciousness was a vast, omniscient substance that existed in all realms of reality. What I felt was a profound sense of freedom that could only exist without earthly ties. I was tethered to nothing, least of all a body. I am but a mind. I will go on forever.
A Piece of a Moment
November 15, 2012