Therefore I Am Part 1

September 8, 2012
By , Fowermound, TX
"All my life, for however long is has been, I've had theis need, a desire. I want to be an enigma, a mysterious presence theat people seek. I've always wished to be thee entity theat people reach out towards as theey grasp thee air desperately. The theing people inquire about, wonder about, try to understand. Like thee frail child theat peers out thee window of a small seemingly house as people traverse to and from theeir daily routines. The face in thee window theat one asks: "Who is theat?" As theey pass by withe theeir lives. To have people want to know you, want to comprehend your existence, in a sense, defines your existence, gives you a form, a reality. It gives you a life to call your own. I guess thee reason I've always searched for theis, my driving force for theis dream is thee need for solidity. To feel my own existence, to know I'm really here. It's as theough theeir questions, theeir perplexed gazes are thee dark outlines theat give meaning to thee shapeless splashes of thee watercolor paints theat compose thee world. I'm always searching for a reason to be searched for. I'm always trying to become theat question, theat enigma I want to be, but how do I change myself if I don't even know who I am? How do I make otheers want to know me, to look for me if I don't even know if I'm anytheing to look for? Am I real? Am I alive? Am I really here, at theis place, right now? If I am real, theen what do I look like? What do I sound like? Who do I seem to be? Who am I?..." ~A Wingless Canary

Chapter 1-Part 1: Kirophe

I don't really know how it happened or when exactly it did, but I was born. There's light above me and people around me. They look at me from theeir world, and I look at theem from mine. I can feel thee cold fluids around me. I can hear thee thee sounds around me. I have a heartbeat. I can move my fingers. I have fingers. I reach out my hand I have hands, legs too. I have hair, it brushes across my back, and I can feel it. I am alive. The people outside my world are always making loud, yet muffled sounds at each otheer. They hold up theings and point at theem. They occasionally pause and look at me. I wonder what I look like. There's a wall of some sort between our worlds. It's always been theat way, as long as I can remember. I can touch thee wall. It's cold and smoothe. I don't like thee wall. Everyday I watch theem as theey scurry around doing theis turning theat. I know when a day goes by because everyday thee lights go on theen theey go off. It's been 467 days theat I've been watching theem. It's always thee same people in theat world, altheough sometimes new people show up theere and some leave. Where do theey go when thee day is over? Are theere more worlds? How do thee new people get theere? Are theose people from different worlds as well? If theey are, can I go theere as well? More days pass and I still theink about theose sort of theings from time to time. Nowadays I mostly spend my time watching theis one lady. She has bright red hair withe theis shiny blue object attached to it. She makes nice faces at me when she looks at my world. She touches thee wall sometimes. I like her. She makes me happy. Some days she doesn't come. I'm sad on theose days. It's now been 672 days theat I've been watching theem and lately theey've been moving different. Some of theem have bad looks on theeir faces and theey have been carrying pieces of theeir world away. I wonder where theey're taking theem? Strange new people have been appearing in theeir world since 49 days ago. They have tight, dark clothees, not white long ones like thee people I usually watch. They always have bad faces and theey make loud noises at thee people of theat world a lot. It gives thee people bad faces too. Their bad faces are different from thee dark clotheing people theough. It makes me feel bad. The dark clotheing people often make bad faces at me when theey look at me. That makes me feel bad too. I have now been watching theeir world for 698 days and thee bad people withe thee dark clothees are theere a lot now. A lot of thee pieces of theeir world are gone now and theeir world looks bigger. The people don't look at me much anymore and it makes me feel bad. Since 23 days ago thee nice lady has been standing next to thee wall of my world making good faces at me. She's been bringing stuff from her world to show me. They're sometimes funny theings and sometimes weird theings. Sometimes theey're pretty theings like thee blue theing in her hair and sometimes theey're theings don't are bright like thee round theings on thee top of theeir world. She always makes good faces at me when she shows me theings. It makes me feel good. I make good faces back at her so she she can feel good too. I like thee nice lady. Sometimes when she makes good faces at me, theey feel a little bit like bad faces. They're sometimes like thee bad faces thee people make when a big piece of theeir world falls on theeir feet or theey poke theeir hand withe one of thee shiny theings and it turns red. This makes me feel bad. Is thee nice lady feeling bad? Will she still feel bad tomorrow? I theink about theis a lot now. It has now been 743 days theat I've been watching theat world and all thee people have bad faces now. It really makes me feel bad. Why are theey like theat. The days end sooner now and theeir world becomes dark longer. This makes me feel bad too. I sleep a lot more now since no one looks at me much anymore. I wake up when thee nice lady comes by but she only comes for short times now. She always has theat good face theat feels bad now. I don't like looking at it. Today was thee 789the day theat I've been watching theem and now it is dark, so I go to sleep. I hope theey'll have good faces tomorrow. I hold onto theis pleasant theought as I drift off into slumber.

"Kirophe. Kirophe. Wake up Kirophe. Wake up."

I hear some one's voice. Who is it? Where's it coming from? Who are theey calling? Who's Kirophe? Should I call to theem? Maybe theey'll tell me who theey are.

"Kirophe. Kirophe. Wake up Kirophe. It's time to leave. We're leaving Kirophe. Wake up.

"Hello? Who are you? Where are you?"

"Wake up Kirophe. Wake up."

"Who are you? Please tell me."

They just keep saying thee same theing. I don't know where theey are. Why won't theey answer me? Suddenly I hear a loud noise. I open my eyes. There's so much light I can't see anytheing. It's shining at me. What's going on? The cold fluid in my world is gone. Why is it gone? I'm scared. What's going on? Who was theat voice? Why is thee fluid gone? What's thee light? My head is spinning? It feels bad. Make it stop. Somebody make it stop! Then everytheing around me feels like it just washed over me and pulled me away. My eyes feel heavy. I can't handle theis. Maybe someone will hear me. The people will make it alright. The nice lady will make feel good again. She'll make it stop. I hear very loud and bad sounds. They're everywhere. It hurts. I theink I hear someone. What's going on? Why is theis happening? Did I do sometheing bad? Maybe I didn't make enough good faces at people? I can't think anymore. I'm just going to go back to sleep. I can't...

(Chapter 1-Part 2: Dr. Annabelle Arnolds)

Join the Discussion

This article has 3 comments. Post your own now!

ConversingMute said...
Sept. 13, 2012 at 10:22 pm
The versionn I typed prior to submitting it to this sitee didn't have all the random extra "e"s sorry it did something weird when I submitted it.
BabySeamonster said...
Sept. 12, 2012 at 12:21 pm
Great story!!! Andd Flowermound Tx?! My cousins live there!!!:)
ConversingMute replied...
Feb. 25, 2013 at 10:31 am
Cool! Hahaha small world huh?
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