The pain was excruciating.... The fire burned like ice crystals that ate away at my fleshy skin..... I was turning into my own frozen waste land that rolled over inside my head like boiling lava. The heat melting my mind into a goo that was easily manipulated. I screamed in agony for my soul. Doctors worked hours, days, weeks.. trying to find a cure for what was wrong. But there is no cure for a broken heart. A heart that has been shattered to the point of no return. So I live with this undying torture that no one will ever understand. I will continue to be looked upon as some crazy young girl who got wrapped up in what should have been left alone, in what was created for adults who know what they are doing. But adults don't know anything. You hear stories about cheating, heart break, jealousy killings. Do adults really know what they are doing? And these doctors that try to help me have no idea. They have no idea how to help, or what to do. But I will make a recovery on my own. I will do what I have to do to collect all the pieces that have been scattered across the globe. I will pick the dust from between each crack and feel the sweet pain as I pour hot wax between the pieces to make them stay together. Watch as blood pours from each wound I clean and stitch with no medication to dull the stabbing of the needle entering my bodies organ. Carve an armor of thick, heavy stone to encase it when it is healed. I will show no love, or passion for anything again. I will not allow my heart to be put in that condition ever again. So as I sit here and polish my stone, I know I am safe forever, as long as I don't let it in. As long as I wear my mask..... I can hide everything from everyone.... everyone that doesn't need to know. This is my little secret.
My Broken Hearted Secret
July 2, 2012