Imaginary

March 10, 2012
By WSwilliams GOLD, Toronto, Ontario, Other
WSwilliams GOLD, Toronto, Ontario, Other
12 articles 3 photos 95 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you keep writing, you will pick up structure. You will pick up form

- Richard Matheson


I hate her. I felt this hatred boiling inside me, tearing into my soul, polluting my heart. I wanted to destroy everything in one blow. The way she acts all happy with her friends; pretending I’m not there. I was Lisa’s friend first! They weren’t. Who went to her birthdays? Who played with her every evening at the neighbourhood playground? Who devoted her whole life flying over the white sands of Casanova beach with her? Me! Not those imposters she calls “friends”. I was ditched for a bunch of tightwads and the things we done together seem pointless now.

Me and Lisa, we’ve been through a lot. We spent the days flying over trees, having tea parties on a cloud, and searching for the lost sky island of Laputa. It was a dream come true; I was finally needed. I thought this friendship would last forever - I was wrong.

In a few years, she started her first year of middle school. Lisa was growing into a mature young teen, quickly becoming popular at school. All the guys wanted to ask her out and all the teachers adored her. She started making new friends; usually hanging out in the mall or in the park. She grew more and more popular; soon she started to forget me. She barely calls me anymore, usually ignoring me when I’m with her. When I try to get her attention, she doesn’t notice me. She would usually say, “Oh it’s nothing guys,” and walk away - well there was something all right! I was always there for her, but now, I’m faded into an empty world.

Why? I asked myself. Why doesn’t she call me anymore?

Lisa was the person who created me when she was alone. At the time, she didn’t have many friends and had to do something to fill the gap. That when she thought me up. Since then, I was there for her, and she was there for me. Now she dumps me on the curb. I sigh at the thing call friendship. You make a friend once and in a few years, you’re gone.

Nowadays, I spend my time flying across the city, resting on an empty street - beside Lisa’s house. I didn’t know why I always came back, but a part of me missed Lisa and her family. I guess I would stay in this city until I disappear, abandoned and disheartened. My dull, lifeless eyes gazed at the shining moon, as tears of sorrow dripped down my cheek and onto the dry street. My heart yearns for comfort and my eyes flickers over the bright street lamps. Everything inside me was crushed by grief and smashed by despair. The shining stars in the night sky called to me - Lisa’s empty house was draped in a vacant and black shadow. I left.
The silvery wings on my back stretch out as wide as a hawk’s. Delicately, they flap and shake to loosen up. Sparkling wings fell on the street as I took off into the night. My monotonous gray hair flows gracefully under the twinkling stars, shimmering as I soared up to the full moon. Then, I hear a tender voice calling up to me from afar.

“Angel.”

Stunned, I rocketed back to Lisa’s house, where that sweet, gentle voice had come from. Looking down on a window, I saw a little girl, as tall as a footstool, wave to me.

Swoosh! I was face to face with the girl. She had curly blond hair and her midnight blue eyes shined under the moonlight. Her two front teeth were still developing and she had bright red dimples on her cheeks. I knew her. She was Lisa’s little sister, Tatiana. She wore white pajamas and carried a soft, yellow blanket. She stared at me with her eyes, transfixed as I opened her window. There was a long, awkward silence.

Tatiana touches my smooth face, and feels my gracious wings. Then, she gives me a toothless smile that melted my heart and my wings flutter.

“Hello Angel. Will you be my fwend? My sister says angels are super nice and will be fwends with you no matter what,” She pats my head and takes my hand: “I want you to play with me forever and ever.”

Those words left my body tingling and my insides melted at her kind words. The tears of sorrow that dripped on my cheek were now tears of happiness. I finally felt like I belonged. I understood that Lisa had forgotten me, but I will always look after her. Now, looking at a younger version of Lisa, I had a purpose of being a friend; caring for her, Lisa, and anyone I meet.
Suddenly, my lifeless eyes blazed to life with a cobalt fury. The tips of my wings stretch over the city skylines, gleaming across the horizon of skyscrapers. I fly high into the skies, higher than anyone could have possibly gone. Soon after, I make my way back to Tatiana’s room. My sparkling, sky blue eyes met hers, as I embraced Tatiana for a long, forgiving time.
The morning sun rose on a crisp dawn day that I couldn’t have imagined. That morning, Tatiana had someone to play with: someone who was there for her and always will be.


The author's comments:
Hi guys! This is my first story on Teen Ink. If you like it, please comment and tell your friends. I just wanted to write about friendship and the types of friends we make everyday. Hope you like it!

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This article has 19 comments.


on Jul. 20 2012 at 7:27 am
augustsun02 SILVER, Hamburg, New Jersey
9 articles 0 photos 76 comments

Favorite Quote:
Write. It doesn't matter if you're overjoyed, furious, miserable, or what. Write to keep those emotions in check while managing to grow stronger.

For it being the first thing you posted on TeenInk, I thought it was very good. The only thing I caught was that when you said, "Me and Lisa..." it should have been "Lisa and I..." I know that whole me-or-I situation confuses a lot of people, so I'm not going to hold that against you. Other than that, I found the concept to be creative. Good job :)

on Jul. 13 2012 at 8:27 am
WSwilliams GOLD, Toronto, Ontario, Other
12 articles 3 photos 95 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you keep writing, you will pick up structure. You will pick up form

- Richard Matheson

Thanks for the feedback. I'll think about it next time.

on Jul. 12 2012 at 11:56 am
Apollo77 PLATINUM, Brunswick, Ohio
20 articles 0 photos 103 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence that you know.”
"Madame, all stories, if continued far enough, end in death, and he is no true-story teller who would keep that from you."
-Ernest Hemingway

I think this would have been a lot more successful in a third person pov. Its pretty good and creative, but so repetative and the voice of this imaginary friend or angel or whatever is kind of annoying...nice description, but this os real rambling to the point i dont care about the characters any more...cool idea though! Pretty good!

Tiwaz SILVER said...
on Jun. 4 2012 at 6:08 pm
Tiwaz SILVER, Jackson, Missouri
6 articles 0 photos 28 comments
Hey, this is pretty awesome. The emotions in this piece are really strong-first it was sad in a Puff the Magic Dragon sort of way, but then it got all warm and fuzzy. :) Good job!

on May. 23 2012 at 5:01 pm
WSwilliams GOLD, Toronto, Ontario, Other
12 articles 3 photos 95 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you keep writing, you will pick up structure. You will pick up form

- Richard Matheson

Thank you! I'll spread the word about your stories too. I have gone over this story already, and have fixed some tense problems with it. 

ShadowRealms said...
on May. 23 2012 at 2:36 pm
Alright WSwilliams:D I have officially commented on every single thing you have on this website:) AND I LOVE IT ALL! :D you are such a talented writer and I hope everyone reads your work. I'm going to go spread the word about you now. Oh, and for critique, I can tell this is one of your early articles, it has grammer and spelling issues. But other than that, FAN FLIPPING TASTIC!!:D oh, and "Suddenly, my lifeless eyes blazed to life with cobalt fury?" Amazing. That line was just purely and simply amazing. Keep up the good work:)

TTTeeSS GOLD said...
on May. 21 2012 at 6:18 pm
TTTeeSS GOLD, La Porte, Colorado
17 articles 6 photos 69 comments

Favorite Quote:
There is no such thing as nothing, yet there is such thing as nothing, simply because there is nothing such as nothing.

This is beautiful! 5/5!

KateLA GOLD said...
on Mar. 28 2012 at 5:19 pm
KateLA GOLD, Everett, Washington
11 articles 20 photos 194 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don’t you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
-Unknown

I could've sworn I read this already, that's weird-I loved it when I read it then and l still love that you were able to come up with this really, really creative article. At first I was thinking this was through an ex-boyfriend's prespective, but then it completely surprised me. In the 5th paragraph there are some simple spelling errors to fix, but I loved it! 5/5!-Don't forget to rate mine btw :-)

on Mar. 21 2012 at 8:11 pm
WSwilliams GOLD, Toronto, Ontario, Other
12 articles 3 photos 95 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you keep writing, you will pick up structure. You will pick up form

- Richard Matheson

Thanks for the feedback. I'm still practicing the tenses used in my stories, so my next one should be in one tense

on Mar. 21 2012 at 7:18 pm
Tatiel PLATINUM, Washington, Vermont
23 articles 21 photos 57 comments

Favorite Quote:
Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
~Mark Twain

This is a very unique idea...I really like it! =) My favorite sentence is this: "Suddenly, my lifeless eyes blazed to life with a cobalt fury."

Cobalt is a PERFECT word choice there. Amazing. =))

 

By way of a critique, the only thing I can say is the tense-switching, like someone else mentioned. About halfway through you switch from present tense to past tense, which is kind of confusing. I love this!


on Mar. 21 2012 at 3:47 pm
WSwilliams GOLD, Toronto, Ontario, Other
12 articles 3 photos 95 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you keep writing, you will pick up structure. You will pick up form

- Richard Matheson

Thanks for all the views and feedback. I'm always looking for more feedback and ratings. 

on Mar. 21 2012 at 1:02 pm
TouchOfARose SILVER, Winter Garden, Florida
7 articles 1 photo 118 comments

Favorite Quote:
"We all have ability. The difference is how we use it." -Stevie Wonder

Aboslutely amazing! I love your ingenuity in this. It's great, and shows such creativity. This is a really cute story. (:

on Mar. 21 2012 at 12:47 pm
futurenovelista SILVER, Staatsburg, New York
8 articles 0 photos 64 comments

Favorite Quote:
"But I being poor have only my dreams...I place my dreams at your feet. Tread softly for you tread on my dreams." -Yeats

I totally loved this. It reminded me of my imaginary friend when I was a kid and how I too outgrew the silly idea once I got older and made more friends. Really good piece, and great details! Keep it up, I cant wait to read more from you...

on Mar. 20 2012 at 10:36 pm
callmeike SILVER, Denver, Colorado
5 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
Heroes die, Legends endure.

Ike here for a review! 

This was a very interesting piece, at first i thought that it was just another kind of teen drama thing but instead you flipped it and turned it into more of a guardian angel that has been forgotten. It was well written and had me hooked. Good job i hope to see more from you :)


on Mar. 17 2012 at 10:22 pm
ShenanigansAndMalarkey PLATINUM, Arvada, Colorado
30 articles 20 photos 29 comments

Favorite Quote:
Never stop dreaming, it's what changes the world- Cameron Jon Weisz

I love this. It's definately a diffrent way of looking at a friendship. very well written.

Autumn. BRONZE said...
on Mar. 17 2012 at 8:45 pm
Autumn. BRONZE, Lakeville, Massachusetts
3 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is a painting and you're the artist, so paint me jealous paint me rage for God's sake paint me anything just paint, your brush awaits."
"Allons-y!" - The Doctor
"Bow ties are cool" - The Doctor
"Dragon by default, cow by coincidence"

I really like this piece!

on Mar. 17 2012 at 8:25 pm
ChristopherMenton BRONZE, Blythewood, South Carolina
3 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live each day to the fullest.

I leek the feel and the emotion. I think it would help the reader a little bit if you stayed with one tense; e.i. past, present, future. All in all really good and i'm gonna' favorite it.

GeeGi BRONZE said...
on Mar. 17 2012 at 3:06 pm
GeeGi BRONZE, Park City, Utah
3 articles 0 photos 51 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Being crazy isn't enough.”
― Dr. Seuss

“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?”
― Dr. Seuss

That was an amazing story. The ending was very sweet. Your an excellent writer. If you can, could you take a look at my work? It's called the Story of the Demons. If you could I would very much appreciate it.

on Mar. 16 2012 at 3:55 pm
WSwilliams GOLD, Toronto, Ontario, Other
12 articles 3 photos 95 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you keep writing, you will pick up structure. You will pick up form

- Richard Matheson

Any comments or feedbacks?


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