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Grandmother riding hood
“Oh.. When is that little girl coming,” I muttered to my self my throat hoarse.
I had the cold and was relying on susie (more commonly known as little red riding hood) to bring me some throat drops and tea bags.
I was walking around my bed room, my lavender and yellow polka dotted slippers scraping the ground making a slow tap tap tap on the hard wood floor
While I was waiting I decided to go to the kitchen to get a glass of water.
when I reached the kitchen I prepared a glass of water and decided to call Susie.
“Brrring-brrring,” I waited. Nope she always forgets to bring her cellphone every time she travels into the woods. I hope that darn wolf stays out of her way.
I sat down on my little kitchen table, the coffee stain was still there from this morning when I had spilled it. I got up from the table, the chair scraping the ground and headed for my bedroom. While I was waiting I might as well get some sleep.
When I was all dressed for my nap I hopped In my comfy bed, fluffing up my feather pillow, and pulled the covers over my head. Oops I almost forgot my ear plugs.
I groped around blindly and finally I found them. One I was situated I fell into a dreamless sleep.
I was too tiered that I could not hear the latch click and the door open. “Creak” I sat bolt upright wondering what the noise was. As soon as I found out that it was that wolf who has been giving us trouble, I saw large hairy paws trying to grab me around my middle. Luckily I still knew some self defense moves, so as the wolfs paws reached out I grabbed his writs and twisted them. He bellowed in pain I do have to admit that I was afraid by this noise, so I ran over to my oak wood closet and hid there. At some point in time I must have fallen asleep because when I woke up I had know idea where I was.
Something reeked of old food. Then I realized where I was. The strong but soft red walls, the horrible stench, and of course a rotten deer head. YUK I was in the monsters stomach. I pounded the red walls searching for an escape route. I tried yelling but the gargle of his stomach was to loud. Oh no I am going to be stuck in here for ever. Just as I was thinking of a back up plan, some thing fell from the sky. Well not really the sky but from his throat. It was going to fall right on top of me, but as soon as I realized I jumped out of the way. But when You are 87 years old you need to no not to trust your legs. Yup I was right my legs gave in on me. So I only got a few inches far, which doesn’t help when a little girl in a red cape came falling from the sky.
Yeah I know It is a little weird to have your granddaughter fall on top of you.
“Oh, hi gran I was wondering where I should put the tea bags..,” susie said in that cute but ignorant little girls voice. She just got eaten alive by a wolf, and the first thing that comes out of her mouth is ‘where do I put the tea bags’. That girl has a mind of her own I tell you.
I was coming up with a crude comment when a howl that was worse then all hell, came from that monstrous wolf.
“come on, lets get out of here,” I said noticing the slit that was in the brutes belly.
I dragged little red out through the stomach.
After a while of slipping and sliding, and over all grossed out that we were in a wolfs stomach, we made it into the daylight.
“Oh my,” said the hunter that had apparently cut open the wolfs tummy.
“Well what else did you suspect,” I replied getting off the bed. I was definitely going to need to get a new bed after all this was sorted out.
The huntsman bid us good bye, and made sure to lock the door behind himself.
The next time little red riding hood comes to my house remind her mom needs to driven her.
“GRANNY!! That was totally awesome!,” little red yelled in my ear.
“unnnggg...,” I groaned.