Kissing Daisies

January 3, 2012
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Girl is smoking on side of curtain, before curtain rises. Seemingly musing to herself.
Narrator- “There’s that moment in every person’s life where everything, absolutely everything goes to, for lack of a better word, s***. Who knows when it could happen, freshman in high school, senior in college, 21 years old, or even when your about to be pushing up daisies in someone’s backyard. It doesn’t seem to mater if you got your bachelors degree, or if you became a doctor and followed in your father’s footsteps making him prouder than anything else in the world, including your birth. I mean God only knows when it will happen, but surely as the cancer taking ahold of my body one lungful of this good stuff at a time, it will happen. Life will suck. It’s all about what you do to prevent it from being, for lack of a better word, less suck-y. You know, there was a time when I could step out the front door and not be patronized for what I was wearing. There was a time when I thought that college was just the next step in the cycle of life, then a boyfriend, a husband, and a gaggle of brats, in that order. Now here I am, reduced to helping pathetic people for all of eternity.”
High pitch, whiny sounding.
Narrator- “How could this happen to me? Ohhhhh, I was gonna be Mrs. USA. I can’t be-“
Normal Tone
Narrator- “They can never say the word though. Oh here is my next victim, now.”
Girl Walks In, Scared
Narrator- “Come on, come on. You have to sit. I know we have all the time in the world, but that doesn’t mean I want it wasted. You’re Kelly Marie Green, I presume. Date of birth was October 21, 1989. Date of Death was December 23, 2012. Mother’s maiden name was Whitaker. Social security was-“
Girl puts hand over mouth as if to shush her
Kelly- “Now ma’am. There’s no need to go all blabbery on me. I just need to know what I’m doing here and… did you say date of death?”
Narrator- “Sure did.”
Kelly- “But that’s impossible I’m standing before you right as rain. Look! Not a single deformity on my skin.”
Narrator- “Do you wanna watch it Ms. Green?”
Kelly- “Watch what?”
Narrator- “Your death.”
Kelly- “Ok, now!”
She stands
Kelly- “Who put you up to this? Was it George? The mailman? I told him it’s not Pepper chasing him every morning! Neighbor Sally and I just so happen to have the same breed of dog!”
Narrator- “No, it wasn’t them.”
Kelly- “Senator Jerry? I told him I wouldn’t marry him and that’s that! No amount of political blackmail is gonna scare me into giving this (points at body) to anyone!”
Narrator- “Sit down! And watch! Oh my latkes, sit down before I have you committed to the other side of Limbo. And trust me dollface, I’m nice compared to the brutes of the gates.”
Kelly sits slowly, and woman puts her cigarettes out on the ground. Then she steps on the cig and claps her hands together.
Two other people come out and sit down together, he male pulling out the chair and making the woman smile up at him.
Kelly- “Hey. That’s me! And Steve from the schoolhouse. But, I don’t remember ever being asked to dinner-“
Narrator- “Shush! This is my favorite part!”
Kelly(2)- “Oh Steve, this is beautiful. I’m so grateful that you asked me to go out with you. This night has been perfect. The walk in the park, the flowers, though you never did tell me why you chose Orchids. How did you know they were my favorite?”
Steve- “(Awkward laugh and intentional fixing of the clothing) My mother’s favorite flowers were orchids. And you remind me so much of her, Kell.”
Kelly- “Oh? That’s so sweet, I surely must meet her some time.”
Steve- “She was murdered when I was seventeen.”
Kelly- “I didn’t know. I’m so sorry. Really.”
Steve- “Time is not just parting seasons, it is a balm for the cracks in the soul. And you Kelly, are my soother. Hey why don’t we get out of here? Go take a walk on the beach or something.”
Kelly- “But we just got here.’
Steve- “Yeah, but I’m not hungry anymore. If you want we can get something to go.”
Kelly- “Oh no, I don’t want to be a bother.”
They get up and leave the set.
Narrator looks back at Kelly
Narrator- “Do you remember now?”
Kelly- (Forced laugh) “How he raped and slowly killed me by making it look like a suicide in my own apartment. Yea, I remember. I remember every last second of it. Every slice of skin pulled back, how he pulled my nails and my teeth out from the back of my mouth because he knew the police wouldn’t ever catch a murderer when it looked like a suicide. How I screamed for days and no one came but him. Yea I remember. I wish I could forget.”
Narrator- “You can. Forget you know.”
Kelly- “It’s weird how it all comes back to this, pushing up daisies just like every man, woman or child in my time and before.”
Narrator- “Now come on, be more optimistic then that. Don’t think of it that way. Think of it like.. kissing the ground you used to walk on!”
Awkward pause and full bellied laugh from both girls.
Kelly- “What about Kissing Daisies?”
Narrator- “I think they’d kiss you right back.”





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