November 30, 2011
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Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there lived a knight in shining armor- Sir Lukas, to be exact. Momentarily he sat idly upon a felled tree, surrounded by a jungle of oaks and evergreens, staring into the crystal pool below him. The reflection of his own sandy hair and blue eyes stared back at him, watching as he was swept away into a sudden flashback.

Transported back through the barriers of time and space, he recalled running carefree through a vast cornfield. Orphaned at an early age, he had been taken in and raised by a kind, old farmer couple out in the country. He never found out the identities of his true parents, but apart from that, life was fabulous. That is, until a messenger from the palace came and ripped him away from everything he had ever known, claiming him to be the Chosen One prophesied to save the world from some great evil. An old man, his long, frizzy beard as grey as his cloak, immediately took him under his wing and began training him to become a knight. Amazingly enough, young Lukas, never having picked up a sword before in his life, was able to defeat the seasoned warrior within days, awing all those gathered. Except one.

Now as he leapt down upon the rocky shore and began strolling beneath the emerald canopy, his mind was consumed with thoughts of that one. Sure, he had never actually met her before, but he was certain she was his true love. Breaking free of the forest, he stepped out into the open, and an immense stone castle rose up before him. His eyes were focused on only one of the high towers, however, for there she was. Princess Flower leaned against the rail of her balcony, her long, golden curls blowing softly in the nonexistent breeze, and stared dreamily off into the distance. She did not pay any attention to the appearance of Sir Lukas, innocently oblivious of him creepily stalking her from afar. He did not mind; he was content to merely let time pass by as his vision was filled with her flawless beauty. However, he soon beheld with horror when, like a phantom falcon diving from the sky, a great black dragon suddenly swooped down and snatched the princess from the tower. The horrible sound of her pitiful screams filled the air.

Sir Lukas could stand this no longer. He hopped atop his pure white steed that had conveniently appeared beside him and galloped off in pursuit of the dragon, and his love. He rode hard through night and day, his stallion never growing weary or changing pace. Rain and wind beat down upon him, urging him with frantic warning to turn back and save himself. He paid them no heed. (And, of course, during no part of his arduous journey was one strand of his perfect hair knocked out of place.)

Pulling back on the reins of his steed, he came to a halt in the shadow of a massive mountain. He dismounted, and, not bothering to tether or remove the tack from the hard-worked stallion, ascended the stone path running up the side of the lonely mountain. When he reached the foreboding entrance to a dark cave, he drew his blade and cautiously stepped inside. He was greeted by a pair of glowing red eyes. The cavern suddenly illuminated by a random stream of sunlight, he saw the smoke rising up from the dragon's nostrils. Bravely disregarding his great peril, he marched forward, sword in hand.

"I am here to rescue the princess, dragon. Prepare to meet your doom."

The beast stared down at him, its thoughts cast directly into his mind. "You cannot kill me."

He continued to stride forward. "Why not?"

The dragon chuckled mockingly. In a deep, dramatic voice, it declared, "Luke! I. Am. Your. Father."

Sir Lukas stopped abruptly and tilted his head. "Dude, seriously?"

It gave him a big, toothy grin. "Just kidding! Now let's get out of here before she comes back. Man, am I glad you came to save me!"

"What are you talking about?" he demanded, raising his shining sword once more. "I told you, I am here for Princess Flower."

"You fool! She isn't a princess; she's a powerful sorceress who would very much like to kill you."

"You're right, that is quite a fun idea, isn't it?" The voice of a girl rang out from the far corner of the cave, accompanied by an evil laugh. Lukas looked over just in time to see her waving her wand, completely obliterating him. The good news was that the Prophecy had been fulfilled- he had ridded the world of the great danger of having to put up with his stupid naivety.

With a dragon waiting on her every whim, stealing cattle from the peasants' farms and creating for her filet mignon with one big breath of flames, the dark sorceress lived happily ever after.

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