For awhile now this girl has been following me around. i watch her move carelessly through the crowds. She'll push and trip anyone in here way to get to where she needs to be. I feel sorry for the poor people she hurt. she laughs at them on the ground. Taunting the girls that do not have desirable bodies. I hate her, but i can never seem to get away. I'm force to run from her everyday. I can never confront her, or shout her name. I stay quiet and watch with deer eyes day to day. watching her taunt other people, with a sly smile. When i come home from that long day, she is in my house standing in my room. She tells me I'm fat and need to lose weight. she tells me I'm ugly and no boy would ever want me. She gives me a list of all the things i need to change to become "ideal." I step back and i finally scream NO, you can't control i don't want to be you. "To late because you are already me." I scream NO again "I could never act or be you." My mother walks in and says who are you talking to. Then i realize IMO standing in front of a mirror, and i became the person in the reflection. When did i become that person in the reflection? I look into the mirror she has a sly smile knowing she won the battle. I look her up and down, knowing i can win the war. "when did i become you?"
June 16, 2011