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If I Die Young...
I never thought that it would end this way. Of course, I also never thought, I would see dragons fight in the air above me, or that I would fall in love with a prince, but those things happened, so I really have no reason to be surprised by anything. But, at the same time, sitting in a dark, wet, dungeon in chains, waiting to be left to die in the forest the next day, isn’t really what any 15 year old girl expects.
I can’t help but wonder what Myrna would say if she was here. She’d probably tell me to keep my head up and be proud. Well, for a while I had something to be proud of. For a while, I was a princess. I wore the finest gowns, I had a dragon of my own, and I had someone who loved me for me. But I only held that for a moment; then I lost that too.
She used to say, “There comes a point when you can’t sink any lower, & you can’t do anything but rise up, stronger and better than before.” Well, I think this is the lowest I can get right now, and its not that I’m impatient or anything, but it sure would be nice to rise.
But, I don’t see how I can rise. I’ve given up hope. I’ve yelled & screamed for Kaiden to come and save me till my voice cracks, but, he must have forgotten about me, just like everyone else. The only ones who hear my calls are the rats.
Oh, the rats, my constant companions and my constant tormentors. They steal my food, they listen to my mad ravings, and they keep me awake at night. They are both my strange blessing and my horrible curse.
Even though the rats are horrible, I think the real pain comes from my mind.
and worst of all…
Memories of happy times, Memories of my first and last love, Memories of what might have been…
Memories, they torment me day and night. They question me, they worry me, and they comfort me.
And yet, even though my heart aches at times from the loss; I’m glad that I remember my life before. Who knows? Maybe, they’ll lessen the pain when I die.
I’ve heard people say all my life, that when death is staring you in the face, you look back on your life and wish you could change something or forget a memory.
I don’t want to forget. My memories, no matter how painful, give me hope, make me happy, and make me wish for them to come and rescue me. But that’s all it will ever be, a wish on a star in the black void of my mind. Perhaps rescue will come in my dreams.
For now, though, the night is dark, the cold air bone-chilling, and all I can think is I’m going to die tomorrow.