"Its the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine"

May 1, 2011
By Nora44 BRONZE, Auburn, New York
Nora44 BRONZE, Auburn, New York
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

So to say that my day started a little bit strange would a huge understatement I suppose in order for me to tell you my story I will have to tell you a little bit of back ground information about me. For starters, my name is Harmony Bliss Smith. My parents are super embarrassing hippy throwbacks hence why my name is so strange. My best friends name is Emily Keeler her parents are a bit more normal than my own. This explains why she doesn’t have an outlandish name like me. We’ve been best friends since she moved next door to me in fifth grade. Of course, the first impression the Keelers had of me and my family was bringing them CousCous cake. Usually people will just bring over an apple pie; but no, leave it to my parents to bring an obscure food item to new neighbors. Despite the strange cake, Emily and I, and our parents, have been best friends with each other ever since.

So there you go, that’s the bit of back ground information about myself. It was short and to the point. I’d go into more detail about it, but I currently only have this one sheet of paper to write down how this whole mess started and a tactful way to go about it without either getting infected or dying. Well if you get infected you are dead technically. In a nut shell, I’m going to explain everything in a pathetic attempt to save the human race on one sheet of paper. Alright so it all started on the second day of summer. I woke up and nothing really seemed out of the ordinary, I got up at ten in the morning, ate breakfast, and went to Emily’s house. Ironically enough, we decided to have a zombie marathon that day and were watching Shawn of the Dead this was when we first noticed that something was a bit amiss. I got up to get the money for the pizza we ordered thirty minutes before hand. Then all of a sudden, we heard a huge bang that sounded like someone was running into the front door opposed to knocking on it like a normal human being. Emily and I, of course being completely oblivious to the news that informed everyone to barricade their homes to be protected from this new disease that’s highly contagious and dangerous, opened the door. What we saw was a sickly, almost deathly looking guy, who unfortunately did not have our pizza. Emily asked him “Can I help you?” He replied with a groan and then proceeded to try to snack on her. This did not go over well because last time I checked; cannibalism was definitely not socially acceptable. So in retaliation to this, I grabbed the closest flow pot and knocked him in the head. The flower pot broke but he didn’t have any reaction to it except to continue to try to eat my best friend. I then proceeded to use the decorative oar hanging above my front door to hit the zombie in the head to knock off his head. Thank god we are zombie Armageddon fanatics. So I guess you could say we inadvertently had been preparing for this our entire lives. Thank you very much Zack Snyder, Edgar Wright, and Nathan Shumate.

After conquering our first zombie, we ran back into the house, locked the door and tried to make sense of what just happened. After regaining our cool, like literally, we pretty much ooze coolness, especially when it comes to killing zombies. We ran around the house gathering together miscellaneous things that are supposed to kill zombies and proceeded to put a bunch of salt around the house. Zombies can’t eat salt or be around it without dying. In this situation it was clearly was the only logical thing to do to ward off those flesh-eating monsters. After taking basic safety precautions, we turned on the news to see what exactly was going on. The news lady was looking a bit disheveled and frantic, telling everyone to protect themselves from the ‘zombie disease’ and then the channel went dead. We checked all the other channels and they too were dead. So we took this as a sign to start a zombie killing rampage and to save the world. Well, this saving the world idea was a good idea in theory. It’s a heck of a lot harder than it sounds. This killing rampage started off all good and well zombies today are about a dime a dozen. But, unfortunately not everyone is accustomed to killing zombies so we’ve become the leaders of a refugee group. I’m actually writing this in a hidden fort in the forest behind my house. The following are steps how to kill a zombie incase my refugee group and I are killed off.
1. Always try to have salt with you
2. Obtain any kind of instrument that can decapitate a head swiftly (this isn’t a tedious process and needs to be fast before you become a nice snack.)
3. Always be ready for anything, and don’t get sentimental about anything or anyone.
This is my last try to save the world if someone ever reads this I wish you luck. I suppose the fate of human kind is in your hands now. No pressure now.

The author's comments:
I had really fun writing this, I hope you enjoy it.

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