There once was a man named simply Underpants Man. He wore underpants that went to his knees that were covered with hearts. He would stand, basking in his own glory. He was not a muscular man, nor a fat man, he was a scrawny man. He had long hair and blue eyes. His fingers were abnormally long. He was six foot three and pale. But, their was one extremely unusual thing about him. He would never move except to look around in front of him. He was invulnerable. He would just stand on his little hill top, doing nothing but bask, and look. One day someone saw him, and called one of his friends. After the word got out that there was a man that stood in one spot infinitely people swarmed from the far reaches of the globe. Some tried to move him, some simply basked in his glory. Others disliked him so much they tried to kill him. When the first man shot the bullet simply hit his eye, and disappeared. After someone tried to blow him up the government took notice. They started an operation that would possibly become lethal to Underpants Man. They started with tanks. When the tanks fired the shells hit him and exploded. When the smoke cleared he was standing, with no marks or burns on him. After the tanks failed they tried to use a nuke. After the nuke detonated he was still standing, with no marks, and no sign of radiation poisoning. After the nuke failed they tried an experimental energy gun. The fired, and the resulting explosion destroyed an area of two hundred square miles. After the dust and smoke cleared the saw him still standing there. They decided to build a facility around him to attempt to learn what makes him the way he is. After decades they finally solved the mystery of Underpants Man. The secret to his power was his underpants. They decided to leave the facility, with him in it. To this day, over two thousand years later, we have failed to find the facility that holds Underpants Man.
The Story of Underpants Man
March 27, 2011