By day! He’s a regular citizen of Ab-da-long, known to his fellow peers as TINA TURNER. But at night! When the sun goes down, and crime awakens, he becomes
SPIKE MAN, defender of justice and lover of anything deep-fried. Although Spike Man cannot get rid of the natural spikes that rest atop his head, during the day he wears them as spikes normal humans can only construct with gel. With this “normal” hairdo, the super hero is considered Just Your Average Joe, except his name is Tina, not Joe.


Spike Man’s evil nemesis is FLAT HEAD, a villain whose hair contains so many products, he could use it to supply an oil company. Spike Man is disgusted by Flat Head’s hair, because of its formless shape. Flat Head keeps his hair in a comb-over, Donald Trump style. It’s just pathetic. SPIKE MAN’S hair, on the other hand, is dangerous! Sticking out in every which-way, and as SHARP as a toothpick! His head is his greatest weapon. Super villains quake with FEAR at the mere mention of Spike Man, afraid to be defeated by his EPIC FOLLICLES. Spike Man has put them all in jail at least once. But Flat Head is just too quick! Spike Man is not coping well with the fact that he can’t capture such a slimy fiend. He sets nets and digs trip holes, but Flat Head always manages to slime his way out, due to his greasy hairdo.


But one day! Our super hero had a breakthrough! He thought of a plan so ingenious, it would catch that villain for sure! The trap - which the super hero was exceptionally proud of - was one he dubbed the name “The Inescapable NET.” He set a piece of cheese on the ground in the middle of a transparent net. After not too long, Flat Head came scurrying over. (He always had a weakness for cheese – he’s half mouse, on his mother’s side.) When the villain began nibbling on the wedge of Gorgonzola, Spike Man pushed his big red button. The net pulled up! And hoisted Flat Head up, up, up! Spike Man jumped out from his hiding spot. He was giddy with triumph! “I have captured him! Hip hip; hurrah!” He danced a happy jig around his contraption, prouder than proud. As he celebrated his victory, Flat Head huffed and puffed in his net. “Lucky shot!” he bellowed at Spike Man. “Cheese is cheating! It’s my weakness!” He continued to rant.


Now, our hero didn’t think too far ahead for this particular plot. After he planned how to catch the villain, that’s where he stopped. He didn’t think what to do with him after he actually caught him. He paced back and forth, a look of deep thought and confusion across his face. “Now that I’ve captured him…” he muttered, “What to do with him, what to do.” Suddenly, a grin spread across Spike Man’s pale, thin lips. “Heh heh heh.” He chuckled a mysterious chuckle. Then, in one swift movement, he unlatched his net, grabbed Flat Head as he fell, and punted him like a football!


“So long, my old nemesis!” he called as Flat Head made a nice arc through the air, straight toward the county prison. “See you as soon as your sentence is up! The better part of two hundred years!” He laughed as Flat Head screamed like a frightened little girl. And alas, Spike Man went back to be Tina Turner, satisfied that he vanquished Ab-Da-Long’s most treacherous villain.