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Innocence and Sanity

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Darkness encompasses everything inside me. The last shreds of humanity I have, I hold on to with dear life, but slowly they slip away. Fearfully, the young boy stands shivering in front of me. Ignorant boy. He thinks that he is safe because I have stopped for a moment. Wide deep blue eyes pray that he will become invisible to me. I don’t want to do this, but my veins are screaming for blood. It will only be a second, but he will feel intense pain. I wish that they didn’t have to feel it, but that’s what I really feed on, the fear and pain. Not the flesh or blood, I’m not a vampire, that’s why their families always find the bodies. Here it goes. A growl comes from deep in my chest; I lash out, tearing his shirt and skin. Beastly eyes glow, reveling in the hellish screams. No longer really there, the beast completely takes over. Killing and creating pain is all that matters now. Still alive the foolish boy tries to run. Slipping and sliding he tries to scramble across the muddy forest floor. It makes me laugh, how hard he is trying. With one leap, I am next to him. Actually, I think he might have been a neighbor’s son, doesn’t matter now, they all cast me out. Cracking noises bounce off the trees as I tear out his spine. Breathing his last breath he makes the noise they all do, it’s a loss of all dignity. That noise is sweet to my ears, filling up the beast inside. The boy is now dead. The beast is satisfied. Stretching and shrinking, my body goes back to normal, I fall to the ground exhausted. I think Adam was his name. He was the Herald’s son, and he was only 15 years old. But 15 years are long enough to learn how to harm a person. Stretching my back, I get up. The hem of my dress is deep in mud and torn. These shoes aren’t very good for walking, but they’ll have to do. Carrying him like a child, I set him on his parent’s property line. This is revenge. His father will now learn to regret what he participated in. They will all regret it. But none of them will feel as I do, nothing. Feeling is the weakness they have, and I envy them for it. She said I should consider it more closely. That witch never disclosed what exactly she would do, and I fell right into her trap. We may want the same thing, but she is willing to go much further to get it. I’m not willing anymore, but I can’t turn back. This beast consumes me in the night, but the daylight brings no consolation. Slowly my consciousness is degrading. Soon my sanity will completely abandon me, and it’s all because of her, and because of them. It all started last year around this time in the fall.


The harvest moon shining almost full and orange tinted above me as I fled. The whole village was coming for me. I was to be burned at the stake. He told them I was a witch. James and I had good thing going, or so I had thought. We were, and still are both young. A few months ago he had caught my eye at the village spring festival. Handsome and charming all the girls wanted him, including me. I thought I was special, until he betrayed me. Multi-colored leaves were just starting to fall from the trees when it happened. Our courtship was publicly accepted and our parents were waiting for him to propose. I couldn’t see any faults in him at all, and was secretly wishing for it also. It appeared to be a mutual love, and he acted as if it was. One day we had snuck off to the woods and were wandering about. A bright clearing came into view. It had a few colorful leaves scattered on the ground, and the light was pouring in from the gaps in the trees. I fell to the ground in fake exhaustion and flirtatiously beckoned for James to come and join me. He came over to me and lay down. For a while we just looked at the sky in comfortable silence, but he made a move towards me. We kissed for a while, not a shameful thing, but then he started to put my hands under his shirt, I was not okay with that so I started to move away. But it was too late, one of the men of the village had seen the whole thing from behind a tree. Gasping in shame I rolled away from James. I started to explain myself but the villager cut me off. “ I didn’t believe it before, but now I can see it. James you must be right.” The villager said. What did he mean? They went on to explain that I was a witch that had James under a spell to make him love me for my own pleasure. I cried to James to tell me the meaning of all this, and that he knew that I wasn’t a witch. But he turned away. The man from the village came over to me, who was kneeling on the forest floor crying. He took my hands behind my back and lead us back to the village, me in shame. When we reached the town center he took me up to the stage and called a meeting. When everyone was gathered, he announced that I was a witch and from that moment on the whole town was after me. They tried to kill me, but I got away, and ran. I ran and ran, with them chasing me for quite a while, but finally I came to a cottage in the woods. Out of breath, muddy, and sweaty, I looked horrible, when a young woman opened the door. She didn’t look over 25. Welcoming me in, she introduced herself. Her name was Greta. As we got talking I explained my predicament to her, half-thinking that she would cast me out too. But to my surprise she didn’t. Actually she was more than understanding. She had the same problem… with the same village. About 50 years ago she was a young witch living in my village and they cast her out. This cottage is where she has been living since. At first I was a little weary of her, not knowing what to think of a real witch, but in the next two days I grew to become good friends with her. We had a common interest, to get back at the village. On the third day she asked me if I would truly like to get revenge on the villagers, and if I would do anything to get it. At the time I was still steaming mad, and so I said yes. Little did I know what would happen. That night near dinner she said that she had done a small charm to help me get revenge, I was flattered that she would waste her magic on me. Until, that is, the moon rose that night. It was the full harvest moon glowing orange in the black sky. I started to feel funny, and then felt pain all over my body. I had no idea what was happening. This was my first time transforming into the beast. A devil-wolf is what I call it. That night was the first time, and the first kill. It was only a cow, but it sent a message to the village, the beast is coming.



Now I have been the beast countless times, eventually I didn’t need a full moon to transform. The madness comes in waves, and once in a while it builds up enough that it changes my body. The glowing eyes still hunger for more, the ultimate feast. James. He will be the next. This kill won’t be like the others, it will be much worse. Right now I walk through the twilight with a couple freshly killed rabbits. I will reach his house soon. I can see it in the distance. The village is at a harvest dance in the square so they will not know what happened. As I reach their doorstep, I stop. I think about how this used to be a place of comfort for me. That time is over. I go though their unbolted door into his house. Walking past the kitchen and drawing room I came to James’s room. Inside is just as I remembered. But he will find a surprise there when he comes home. I pin the two rabbit hearts to the pillow. On a piece of paper I find I write with blood. We used to be two hearts connected. "You betrayed that. You now must suffer. Sincerely, Your lover." I go outside to the sidewall of the house. I take the blood I had drained from the rabbits and write another message. "You are next". I leave the rabbit carcasses, now skinned hanging on the clothesline. It is time for me to go now. I walk back to Greta’s mind spinning. This is the only thing I will have done that is deserved. He must feel the pain that I felt when I was betrayed. The beast has consumed me. For the next week I wait, watching him look behind him at the smallest sound, I find a way to get to him. He will die, and it will be tonight. Today, he seemed like he wasn’t worried anymore, thinking I had forgotten about the whole thing, since it has been a week since I warned him. He decided to take the path home through the woods. Not yet changed form I come walking up behind James. He turns and stares. “You didn’t think that I would forget, did you?” I say stepping closer to him. Now I am face to face with him, our noses touching. “You thought you could betray me and ridicule me, now you will pay” I hiss. There is no more left of me anymore, nothing will weigh me down anymore.





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