Fan Kicking Fat People

January 14, 2011
By Anonymous

When I finally regained consciousness, I felt the freezing cold air of the dungeon on my shirtless body. The only light in the room was a candle on a shelf, and the gray, cold walls of the dungeon felt like ice. I didn’t remember how I got there or how long I had been there. All I remembered is being hit over the head with a wooden paddle. I heard the dungeon door unlock, and creak open and I heard a man’s heavy shoes, banging on the floor. I heard him walking, loudly towards me, the sound getting louder and louder as he got closer. The man finally came into the light and I could see his face, he had a large face with a white beard covering the majority of his face. His clothes were dirty and I could smell his body odor from where I was sitting against the cold dungeon wall.

I had this all planned out in my head.

The man bent over to give me my food, it had a raunchy smell to it. The scent traveled into my nasal cavity, and I could feel the vomit creeping up my esophagus. I then fan kicked him in the face, the man fell over, dropping the nasty food all over the ground and hitting his head on the wall. I jumped over his body and the food and as I did that he grabbed my leg and I backwards ninja rolled, slingshotting him across the room into the wall. I heard the man’s ribs crack and a terrible sound come out of his fat mouth. I picked up a roll off the ground, that was supposed to be part of my dinner, and viciously took a bite out of it.

I ran through the dark dungeon, until I found the steps that were fortunately able to be seen. I ran up the stairs, but when I opened the door that wasn’t locked, there were knights outside of the door waiting for me. I took my half eaten roll and threw it at the smaller knight’s hideous face. As he stood there conflustered, I took his sword and stabbed every knight out there in the throat. They didn’t even see it coming, due to my cat like reflexes. After killing my fair share of people I rushed out of the castle as fast as I possibly could.

The author's comments:
i spent a while writing this, it's kind of silly but its very symbolic.

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This article has 1 comment.

on Jan. 21 2011 at 8:51 am

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