Anna Marie part 1

"School"
Such an obstruct word, a piece of paper i wish to crumple or tear to pieces, before the remains of what i had done lies in the trash, with all of the other broken pieces. i wish it were meaningless so i could wave it away with my hand in ridicule. It had no need to place itself into my life
i heard that word today.
To be more precise, the man Jerome i was living with along with his wife approached me today. i spun around when i sensed that i wasn't alone, and the sight of both of them standing there took me by surprise. i was on the way outside to go on a walk around the town, as i always did, to meditate. But i guess i had to wait, the looks on their faces told me that they brought news. i braced myself, having no clue what was coming. i heard the woman (Yolanda) mutter to Jerome "Let me take this" i waited. Finally "Anna Marie, Sweetheart. We all knew this was gonna come sooner or later. As we all know, the law and our virtues, state that every child must go to school. There's no way around it. It's unavoidable. I'm sure you knew this. And we wanted to make it certain that you're prepared because soon, your vacation will be over and you'll be on the road of education. And we also wanted to let you know that me and your father have got you enrolled in Mary Fields Public school for the new year. The first day is September 10" if i had known what school was, i would've been filled with dread. But instead having never heard the word, and not knowing at ALL it's meaning i sat there dumbfounded, my face concealing it. But knowing right away, the subject held a lot of meaning and importance to her, i nodded. How was it that i was eligible enough to understand every person i saw, and peer into their heart and their secrets, and yet i couldn't understand simple words like school? Or education? Why couldn't i contain THAT knowledge? Or being able to read minds? That would've been nice. I'd trade in a heartbeat.
Either way, even if i didn't know what it meant, i wasn't about to ask. Apparently, everyone in the neighborhood knew what it was, and me asking would not be a pretty picture. i would just go along with it patiently, go to school, as it was now. No harm to it, i suppose. At that moment, i was completely and utterly clueless.



September 10 came and went, but not so smoothly. Since it was my first day, and the school was out of town, Jerome decided to drive me there. The most i had come up with was that a school was a building. With my senses and all, i should be able to get around, even if i don't know what I'm doing. The only thing that poked me with mock was that as we were driving, we passed people. Lots on the sidewalk. And i knew very well what happened when that happened.
A man tall and thin walking casually-------impressed if i shower him with humor, hurt if i completely ignore him while he's talking to me.
A woman jogging with her ipod-----impressed if i have a lot of ambition, hurt if my story of my life is heartbreaking and she can't fix it.
A child of about 8 years old. Hurt---------
MAKE IT STOP, MAKE IT STOP, MAKE IT STOP!!! i didn't want to be given this personal information about strangers on the streets!! My head was throbbing with the pressure, and i shift uncomfortably in my seat. i see Jerome look at me from the rear view mirror. He probably thinks I'm about to be carsick. i probably look it too. The throbbing was getting heavier with each foot further the car drove. i realized that was because we were heading towards my "school". Tons of kids were strewn everywhere. i had never seen people my age before. i was struck with fascination. At the same time, with each step closer, my pain increased. The throbbing of my head was in tune with the beat of a heart. The shockwaves were never painful. The pressure of being around so many people, all the information thrown at me at once, WAS.
hurt by calling her fat.
Impressed by having musical knowledge.
Hurt by another heartbreak.
Impressed by passionate speaking

So much of it, i got mixed up with which one belonged to which kid. i think i had what was close to the biggest headache ever known. If i could get headaches. The ache of the pressure, my hate for my ability, my pleas for it to end...........it got worse with each step closer, and seeing more kids in the huge mob. Jerome stopped the car right at the curb, in front of the scene. He turned around in his seat to look at me. i knew instantly what that gesture meant. Words need not apply. i had to get out. Face the mob with dignity. Go to "school". EVERY DAY. And this was the start. i had no choice. i nodded and opened the door.

And didn't it make a difference. breathing in the same air of hundreds around me, magnified the effects. If my motion picture was blurry and painful, now it was painful and in HD. i fought against my deep dread, gathered my dignity, and walked through the mob, knowing exactly what i was in for, and still surprised because i hadn't predicted how it would feel. i knew it was gonna hurt, but i didn't predict how the hurt would feel. And it felt as though it was consuming me, blanketing me in darkness, even though the morning was so light. it was ok i thought. i could take it. People need night as well as day. My night just came a little early. An adult, most likely a teacher came out of a classroom. Hurt by mention of her lost father, happy by tons of love from a big hearted person.................
My ordeal reached it's acme. i felt like breaking down, my panting rushed, i gasped for air, permeated with pressure. i couldn't fight one more piece of the torn paper of school. Not one more bit of information i didn't want to know. NO MORE. i was about to implode.
I HAD TO ESCAPE.
i ran, the fastest i had ever run. But not back, where more students would lie. But to the side, where nobody had gone, only looking in the direction of escape. i was so intent on getting out, that i hadn't noticed my translucence made me seep through people, my particles becoming visible when i did. Through people and objects i seeped as i ran, not a care in the world of what anybody saw. i was heading now towards an old vacant parking lot. This was a new one. The other one i saw was full. That must've been the new lot. This one was large. On the edges were a stripe of trees. It may've been a forest. Maybe. i was running further and further from school, and the building was getting smaller and smaller as i went. The building was now blurry, almost as though fog was blocking my view. i turned back, as the pressure faded. i am shocked to see a guy. But he's not a man, not a boy. But one my age. He's facing me, staring right at me solemnly, a small smile twitching on his lips, watching me curiously. I crouch in pain. Hurt by--------Impressed by---------NOT AGAIN. If i could collapse i would've. But instead, i felt the want take over me. My particles became visible. i felt myself rise into the air, chemicals in me breaking up until it combines with the air. A gust of wind carries me away, me and the wind as one. i am gliding in the sky. i am part of the sky, that's how it feels. i no longer have skin, but air, i AM air. air with color, to represent the clothes i wore. i am part of it. i feel the wind die down, and slowly, i gently land on the ground, someplace very far away, and resume to my human form. i don't know what just happened, but i do know that every part of my body is washed with relief. At last. No more throbbing, no more people. No more unwanted information. i don't know where i am, or how i got here. i do know i have to find my way back home, and will probably miss school. I'll have to walk too. i don't care about any of that. i just thank whoever gave me complete silence.





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