All Nonfiction Bullying Books Academic Author Interviews Celebrity interviews College Articles College Essays Educator of the Year Heroes Interviews Memoir Personal Experience Sports Travel & CultureAll Opinions Bullying Current Events / Politics Discrimination Drugs / Alcohol / Smoking Entertainment / Celebrities Environment Love / Relationships Movies / Music / TV Pop Culture / Trends School / College Social Issues / Civics Spirituality / Religion Sports / Hobbies
- Summer Guide
- College Guide
- Author Interviews
- Celebrity interviews
- College Articles
- College Essays
- Educator of the Year
- Personal Experience
- Travel & Culture
- Current Events / Politics
- Drugs / Alcohol / Smoking
- Entertainment / Celebrities
- Love / Relationships
- Movies / Music / TV
- Pop Culture / Trends
- School / College
- Social Issues / Civics
- Spirituality / Religion
- Sports / Hobbies
- Community Service
- Letters to the Editor
- Pride & Prejudice
- What Matters
Act 4: Romeosis and Jooleet
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away….
Commander Laurence- T minus 2 days? Why so soon?
France- To stop her alienated blubbering
Commander Laurence- Huh. Look here she comes now, in the *Harry Potter voice* new Nebula 2000!
France- Greetings, Galactic Adventurer, my wife!
Jooleet- Shut up, France, we aren’t married yet. Commander Laurence, I’ve come for confession
Commander Laurence- Beat it, France
France- See ya later, Jooleet *suggestive wink*
Jooleet- Oh, commander, I’m so anguished. If you can’t stop this union, I will kill myself with this anti-matter astro-blaster!
Commander Laurence- Woah there, let’s not get hasty now! As a matter of factual account, I have a plan.
Jooleet- Oh anything not to marry that droog France! Throw me in a black hole! Feed me to the Wampa! Exile me to space in a space-pod filled with body-snatching zombie invaders! Anything to be with my Romeosis!
Commander Laurence- Ok then. Tell them you’ll marry France, then drink this Plasma Punch, and you’ll look dead for 42 hours. They’ll find you and cast your limp body into orbit. I’ll have the telepathic captain send Romeosis a mind-message, and he’ll be waiting in a shuttle to catch your floating body, and then you’ll wake up and go to Betelgeuse!
Jooleet- Woohoo! Give me the Plasma Punch!
Commander Laurence- Jooleet-*Vulcan Salute* Live long and prosper… and, may the force be with you!
~ Scene 2~
Cape-u-leet: Find the best cook in the galaxy!
Lady Cape-u-leet: Jooleet! Need you my help?
Jooleet: No, no, I’m peachy. NRS, help my maternal unit set up for the wedding.
(NRS and Lady Cape-u-leet leave)
Jooleet: Antifreeze flows through my artificial veins in fright! What if this Plasma Punch is really just poison that the Commander decided to kill me with? Or if Romeosis doesn’t get the telepathic message, so I’ll just be flung into space to die? In space no one can hear you scream! What if I live, then I’ll just be floating around; my only company the stars and occasional space wanderers! I’d go even more insane! Speaking of insane, I think I see my zombie cousin Tybaltronic hunting down his killer Romeosis with a neutron-automatic! Aaah! Plasma Punch, down you go. (Drinks Plasma Punch)
Cape-u-leet: NRS, go wake up Jooleet, her lover France has arrived.
NRS: Where art thou Jooleet? I command you to drive the spaceship, for I have to use the loo. Jooleet get out of bed and dress yourself. The moons are out and the nebulas are burning bright. Jooleet?!!!!!!!?
(Jooleet falls out of the bed---looking dead)
Lady Cape-u-leet: NRS, why art thou crying out..ARGHHHHHH! Jooleet be terminated!?
Cape-u-leet: My lady, you cry out ARRRGGGHHH! What seems to be the problemo? (looks at Jooleet) My sweet android, you be deceased! You are cold and stiff, just like before, but dead.
NRS: Oh woah is me, oh woah the stars!
Lady Cape-u-leet: Oh NRS, what shalt I doith? Jooleet wake please!
Cape-u-leet: My darling daughter, you have now passed on. She is a beautiful flower, killed by unseasonable frost-wedging.
(France walks in randomly)
France: Jooleet, what art thou happened?
Lady Cape-u-leet: She’s dead Einstein, can’t you see my darling Jooleet has now passed on into the white hole. This accursed, unhappy, wretched, hateful day!
(Commander Laurence randomly shows up)
Commander Laurence: Jooleet is now in a better place, the white hole. The most you wanted for your android daughter was for her to marry a commander. You were so angry with her, now she is in the white hole. Dry up your tears and power up, she has gone to infinity and beyond.
Cape-u-leet: All the items and oils that were going to be used for the wedding celebration, will now be used for a funeral. This sad irony, everything will be used for the opposite.
Commander Laurence: Indeed Sir Cape-u-Leet, but she is now in the white hole. Take this beautiful corpse to the lab, then sling her into outerspace.
…The Final Frontier.