What Have You Done | Teen Ink

What Have You Done

November 18, 2010
By Thomas Klein BRONZE, Las Vegas, Nevada
Thomas Klein BRONZE, Las Vegas, Nevada
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

“This is Adam Fenix, can anyone hear me? What have you done?” These words echoed throughout

Marcus Fenix’s head. The COG or Coalition of Gears have just received this grim message from the recently

thought deceased father of war-hero Marcus Fenix. Marcus saw his father murdered before his own eyes years

before, so how could this message been sent? He wasn’t sure, but he was going to find out. “Delta Squad, our

work isn’t done yet, let’s go to the source of the message”.





On the way to the destination, Marcus was still pondering how the Locust Horde was still attacking the

COG. Marcus dropped a Lightmass Bomb in their main base. He flooded Nexus, the Locus’s capital city when

he destroyed the Lambet Brumak. What more could you do? The COG had recent arguments about disbanding

themselves because they think they could survive longer on their own. Marcus wasn’t into politics, but he hated

the fact that they would split themselves up in the Coalition’s darkest hour. “Hey Marcus, quit day-dreaming

we’re almost to the destination”, shouted Marcus’s long time friend and brother in arms Dom. Marcus and Dom

are one of the deadliest two-man teams in COG military. When they are assisted by other members of Delta,

such as comrades Baird and Cole, they became a huge force- multiplier in battles and they have never lost a

member of their team, except Carmine.





Two of the deaths Marcus takes the most responsibility for are Anthony and Ben Carmine. Anthony

and Ben come from a family full of military enlistments and deaths, do to the fact that all four carmine brothers

enlisted in the COG army as soon as they were old enough. Anthony (Tony) was the second oldest Carmine at

the age of 21 and the first tragic death that the family had to endure. Ben was the youngest Carmine at the age

of 17 and was the most recent death in the family. The oldest Carmine that has experience and will never back

down from a fight is Clayton (Clay) Carmine. Marcus served with Clay in the previous war when Clay was just

a private, now he is an officer, 26 years old and the toughest of the Carmine clan. Marcus had never seen any

reports on the forth brother because his squad went missing in Operation- Hollow Storm. “Marcus we’re here”,

shouted Dom, as the duo ran off the Raven helicopter.


Marcus and Dom sprinted towards the last known location of Adam Fenix. As they neared the objective,

Marcus and Dom fell because of a violent trembling beneath them. Suddenly, the ground began breaking apart

and forming a hole. These were the terrifying signs of a Locust attack. A hideous, glowing creature emerged

from the huge hole. Dom fired his new sawed-off shotgun at the beast, but the bullets just bounced off. The

beast used to be a Locust Berserker, but Imulsion mutated it into a black creature with multiple limbs. “Stop

firing at it Dom, our bullets have no effect”, whispered Marcus. “Let’s try to sneak past it” whispered Dom. The

duo approached an ancient structure where the destination was located and they entered. The building was

reduced to smoldering rubble on the interior; nothing could have survived whatever happened in there. Marcus

and Dom left the building and hopped on a waiting Raven helicopter. Marcus was unsatisfied with the search

results. He knew his father was still out there, and he was going to find out where. His job wasn’t finished yet.



The COG had made the decision to disband; they abandoned everyone who had served in it. Marcus and

the rest of Delta gathered male and female Gears, who could still fight, to join them in overcoming the

hardships ahead. The members of Delta still have hardships and losses to overcome, but they will continue to

bond and fight to the end.


The author's comments:
Enjoyment and thrill of putting words to ones thoughts.

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 39 comments.


Big-T said...
on Dec. 15 2010 at 3:13 pm
I can't believe others haven't read this story, it's an entertaining read.

Big-T said...
on Dec. 1 2010 at 6:56 am
I've read this again and it's a very good story

TSK96 said...
on Dec. 1 2010 at 6:54 am
I like this kind of story

Momma said...
on Dec. 1 2010 at 6:53 am
Good use of words

Momma said...
on Nov. 26 2010 at 6:11 am
I enjoyed this story very much.

TSK96 said...
on Nov. 26 2010 at 6:09 am
This is a good read, i have read it a few times over.

Big-T said...
on Nov. 26 2010 at 6:05 am
I like it alot

TSK96 said...
on Nov. 24 2010 at 6:46 am
Good job, keep expanding your mind through words

Momma said...
on Nov. 22 2010 at 10:11 am
I agree with Big-T about how we should let Teens use their reading and writing experiences in a positive way, and we should support them as much as we can. I am real also, just in case that Mickey guy cares. This was a good story and I'm sure the author (12years old) will grow with time, so keep positive.

Big-T said...
on Nov. 22 2010 at 10:02 am
I think for a 12 year old to spend time doing a short story and expanding his thoughts is something most have forgotten how to do, so to be negative about someone trying shows how cruel some have become in their own life. We should encourage the youths of today to be positive and use their brain. Oh! by the way, I am a real reader and not made up as mentioned by Mickey D. 

Big-T said...
on Nov. 22 2010 at 9:49 am
This is the work of a 12 year old and at least he is doing something positive with his brain and writing thoughts of his gaming experience, which is more then what Mickey D is doing. 

Mickey_D GOLD said...
on Nov. 22 2010 at 1:08 am
Mickey_D GOLD, Santa Cruz, California
11 articles 0 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you don't believe in that subconscious self as a writer, then you shouldn't be doing it. ~Ray Bradbury

I've read the official Gears of War books, played GoW 1 and 2... so I know a lot about the story.

This "story" is pretty much a weak biography and a single, unresolved conflict, no?

I'm sorry to say that this looks like the fantasies of a 12-year old after having played too many M-rated games.

If I continue, I will most definitely be branded a negative and hateful person. But if you read the "story", you will understand.

 

On the, ah, helpful side, I would have to say to the author... read. Please read. A lot. It'll help you grasp the understanding of how to actually structure a story.

I'm reading the other comments and I'm having trouble understanding their concepts of a story.

"Big-T" said... Even flow of words, good story line, great twists and turns within story."

...Seriously? Are these fake accounts that the author created to bring himself up? Sounds like it.

No further comment.


JMAC said...
on Nov. 21 2010 at 4:49 pm
ayight i geuss

BIG-T said...
on Nov. 20 2010 at 3:41 pm
There is a story within a story, Great.

TSK96 said...
on Nov. 20 2010 at 3:38 pm
Lots of thoughts behind words in a story which some readers need to find.This is very good reading.

Momma said...
on Nov. 20 2010 at 3:34 pm
Keep up the good work

asofnow GOLD said...
on Nov. 19 2010 at 6:03 pm
asofnow GOLD, Troy, Michigan
18 articles 0 photos 208 comments

Favorite Quote:
Nothing gold can stay ~ Robert Frost

zzzzzzzzzzzzz

its k


Momma said...
on Nov. 19 2010 at 3:04 pm
It's great work and I enjoy reading anything written by Thomas. He has strong words and vivid imagination which shows in the story

Big-T said...
on Nov. 19 2010 at 3:00 pm
Even flow of words, good story line, great twists and turns within story.