Oh 2B Me

October 15, 2010
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Harry was furious. This was the last straw! His parents were going to his schools Open House and leaving him with a babysitter. He was 9, for heavens sake! He didn’t need one. Harry lived in Cuba with his family. His mom and dad were both over 6’2, and his older sister, who was 13, was 6’6. He, on the other hand, was 4’2. He hated it! Everyone at school teased him because his last name was Tall. Now his parents had gone and left him with the Babysitter from the Black Lagoon. Harry called her: “The Boss”. She was all mean and nothing else. Well, at least there was one good thing about today. Today was Halloween! And Halloween in Cuba was better than Christmas in the North Pole. This year, Harry was dressed as his favorite Star Wars character, General Grievous.
“The Boss” on Halloween was scarier than that Alien movie on Earth. Especially in the costume she always wore. Slappy the Clown. Harry hated clowns and Slappy topped the list. “The Boss” loved to terrorize him with it. But this year, he was ready for her. He listened as “The Boss” tried in vain to sneak toward his room. He crouched, ready to spring. “The Boss” burst into his room with a SCREAM! Harry launched himself from the closet, fake lightsabers springing to life. From his porch, the old man in the old house across the street heard a thwack, then a scream. He chuckled to himself. This little one was going to need an accelerated dose. He went inside to prepare it.

“So help me twerp,” “The Boss” said. “I’m going to take you on the scariest, most terrifying route in Cuba tonight.”
Harry stuck his tongue out at her.

“Do what you will, hideous Zorg Queen. I’ll be ready for it.”
“The Boss” rubbed her lightsaber bruise gingerly. “Well then,” she said. “Let’s go.” Harry tried to get “The Boss” not to notice the old Swell house. It was the creepiest house around. No one went there. Word was the dead still lived in there. Harry tried to block her view. But it did no good.

“Hey twerp. That house looks fun. Go and ring the bell.”
Harry had no choice. The Boss would force him to either way. He went up the long, sloping drive. The mailbox letters, 2B, looked like a skull. He took a deep breath and pushed the button. He braced himself for a zombie to lunge out and eat his brains. But instead, an old man answered the door.

“Why hello there. Come in. You’re the first trick or treater I’ve had in nine years.”
Harry realized that the man meant no harm. Then he realized that no one had visited him in nine years. He felt sorry for him. The old man seated him at a table. In the center was a huge bowl of candy.

“Take what you want. Oh, wait a minute. I have something else for you.”
Harry wondered why the man was giving him something if he barely knew him. But he pushed the thought aside and started filling his pumpkin with candy. The man came back with the strangest candy Harry had ever seen. It was strangely swirled, striped and streaked.

“This candy is very special. My own recipe. But you must eat it somewhere deserted.” Seeing the look on Harry’s face, he quickly added, “Relax, it’s not poison. It just makes your face pucker up like a lemon. You’d look ridiculous.” Suddenly, the old man straightened. “Oh my, I have to go.” He shooed Harry out of the house and shut the door behind him. What a strange man, Harry thought. Suddenly, “The Boss” leaped out of the nearby bush with a ROAR! Harry screamed and ran down the drive. “The Boss” laughed evilly behind him. He sprinted into the family shed and bolted the door behind. The shed was about eight feet tall. Harry looked down at the candy in his palm. He remembered the old man’s words.
“Eat it somewhere deserted” he’d said. Harry looked around and popped it in his mouth. It was very sour, yet suckable. He started sucking. Suddenly, the ground lurched. Harry looked down and almost choked on the candy. His legs were growing. Taller and taller they grew. The ground moved farther and farther away. When he finally stopped growing, he looked up, and smacked his head on a rafter. That meant he must be at least five feet tall. Harry was amazed. He’s just grown a foot in less than ten seconds. Then, his upper body began to tingle. He felt himself stretching. He was growing again! He looked at his body. His arms were like sticks. He looked down. The floor seemed miles away. He looked to the wall of the shed, where he kept a measurement chart. He was now 6’5. Holy cow! He had to go hug the old man! Then he realized he still had a little bit of candy left. He gave one last mighty suck. The candy dissolved. His middle section trembled, then shot up! He looked at the chart. He was 6’9. Let’s see the kids tease him now. He had to stoop to get out the door.
The town had changed. His house was much older. He figured that the old man had made a candy that aged him. He figured he must be about 28. He looked at the old Swell house. It was even older now, falling apart. He figured the old man must be dead. What a pity. He wanted to thank him. His own house was in good shape. He looked at the calendar. He couldn’t believe his eyes. According to the date, he was only 16. 6’9 at 16! Suddenly, he was hungry. Really hungry. He ran to the fridge. It was stocked with all sorts of pizza, soda, chocolate, and hamburgers. He took what he thought he needed. In all, he ate two supreme pizzas, three cans of Sprite, five hamburgers, and two chocolate bars. He was still hungry. He couldn’t believe it! He got up, pushed his chair in, and hiccupped. But this was no ordinary hiccup. When Harry hiccupped, his stomach bulged. His pants button popped, and his stomach bloated. Just as well, Harry thought. His growth had left him like a stick. Then, he felt exhausted. He climbed into bed, and went to sleep. Two weeks seemed to go by like a blur. He was now huge in both ways. He was 7’6, and growing every day. He had outgrown three sizes of pants, two sizes of shirts, and had cleaned out the fridge twice. He was down to his last pair of pants. His legs were like tree trunks, and his arms were like tank barrels but at least he was happy. He was eating more and more each day. Yet, he felt homesick for his old life. Eventually, the magic candy will wear off and he would return to his old body. But, when would he? He pushed that thought aside. He was hungry again. He ate the usual, plus another pizza and three more hamburgers.
Harry finished his meal. Suddenly, he felt dizzy. He got up and stumbled to the bathroom. He looked at his reflection in the mirror. His head was in the middle of the glass. However, it was rising. Oh, no, thought Harry. Not again. Then, his chest was even with the top of the mirror. He went to his growth chart. It was good that his house was very big. He measured himself. He was 7’11. Great, thought Harry. I’m now a freak. He let out a sigh. Harry began to feel very sad. Then, he hiccupped. This was a whopper. His last pants burst open, and stomach was revealed. The shirt stretched up to his arms and ripped. His legs expanded to the sink. His stomach sagged down to his thighs. Harry began to cry. He wanted to be tall, not a freak. Now he was the tallest kid on Earth. He put on very tight clothes, left his house and ran to the Swell house. He bent down and knocked on the door. The old man answered very calmly. He looked up at Harry and said “Had enough?” Harry nodded. “You sure?”
“Yes!” Harry screamed. “Please, turn me back.”
“Fine,” said the man. “Just remember to appreciate who you are and nothing else.” He waved his hand and Harry’s head swirled. When his head calmed, there was “The Boss”. The Swell house was gone.
“So twerp,” she said. “Had enough of Halloween yet?”
He looked down. There was the ground, nice and close. He could see his feet, too.

“Yes,” said Harry. “I have.”

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This article has 2 comments. Post your own now!

KingMothra said...
Oct. 19, 2010 at 2:35 pm

Dear readers,

I'm so glad that this is on TeenInk. For everyone who likes, fear not! There is more to come!


KingMothra replied...
Oct. 26, 2011 at 2:16 pm
Huh. Looking back on this piece from who knows when, I realize I was a bit twisted. Oh well, at least now I'm right in the head, right? Hahahahaha... I think.
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