Visiting the Grave This work is considered exceptional by our editorial staff.

October 12, 2010
Custom User Avatar
More by this author
The night was cold, the snowflakes dancing down in dirfts by soft sharp breezes. I clutched Ares' warm hand, my seven year old legs struggling to keep pace with his own. It seems like I was always like that in my childhood; struggling to keep pace with the adults.
Lights twinkled in the townsquare while I heard distant singing of Christmas Carols. I almost tripped as my eyes focused on a pair of brand new red boots; Ares gently pulled me along, away from the glitter of Christmas into a hidden forest that was barely lighted by dim streetlamps. I curiously looked aroun.d
We weren't in a forest. In fact, we were behind a church, the choir songs distantly ringing within the walls. Tall trees surrounded the field; it took me a moment to realize stones were wedged in between the Earth. I crinkled my nose in confusion.
"Ares, where are we?" I asked, puzzled. Ares looked down at me, his brown eyes saddened. He feebly smiled, but the joy was lost in his eyes as he did so. It made me sad.
"We are at a grave, Luna." He softly answered, tightening his grip on my hand."This is where your mother lies." I looked away from Ares, a twinge of sorrow melting through my blood.
It was two years ago when my mother died and I still had nightmares about it. I gripped Ares' hand, suddenly reluctant to be here.
"Come." He quietly said, his breath becoming a shapless mist as the word twirled out into my ears. I silenly let Ares guide me to a paticualalry large gravestone, my footsteps crunching on the sparkling ivory snow.
The gravestone was gray as smoke, the name of my mother etched rather harshly in the center. Below it, I read "Here lies Elizabeth Charleston, a mother, wife and daughter. But most of all, a heroic figure that will forever be remembered in our hearts."
Tears colder than the snow began to roll down my rosy cheeks, causing me to tremble with grief. I terribly missed my mother. Ares gingerly held me, the warmth of his chest engulfing my sobs. I didn't understand why I was so sad now. It had been two years after her death, and I knew she was gone. But still, seeing her grave caused an unknown sorrow, which burned through the veins of my skin.
"There there, Luna." Ares comforted, holding me close. He smelled of peppermint and sugar.
"Why did she leave me?" I wailed, snuggling closer to Ares' legs as he let me down. For a while, all was silent except for the bitter breeze and voices of the church.
"She didn't want to."Ares finally said, his voice craking."But, she didn't have much of a choice child." I sniffed, my eyes still watering. I dug my face into Ares' leg, still crying. I wanted her back, but I knew that wasn't going to happen.
"I'm sorry I brought you here, Luna." Ares solemnly murmured. I looked up to see his brown eyes hard with regret."You are young, and it was wrong. Let us leave." I nodded, wiping my eyes. Ares picked me up, despite the fact that I was seven. For the moment, I didn't care about being treated like a little kid. He always joked on how petite I was, anyway.
He carried me out of the grave, back into the town of Christmas cheer. We passed the red boots again; I had no interest for them anymore. When we passed the bakery, cinnamon wove it's way up my nose and I lifted my head. I found Ares' eyes. They were dark as chocolate and seemed very sad, like he was on the verge of tears himself. I gulped and wrapped my hands around his neck.
"Atleast I have you, Ares." I whispered in his ear. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him smile.
"Yes, atleast you have me."

Join the Discussion

This article has 12 comments. Post your own now!

dolphinportkey7 said...
Jan. 21, 2012 at 2:32 pm
Very well done, Nacho. The imagery was phenomenal, and you did the perfect job making Luna notice the things a child of seven would've noticed. The one thing I am curious about is why you chose the name "Ares." It's interesting, because it both fits (he seems like a very strong, large man) and doesn't (Ares being the Greek god of war.) Did you pick it for the contrast? Or did you just like it? :)
TheGirlWhoDancesWithSnowflakes replied...
Feb. 12, 2012 at 2:04 pm
Oh nacho! :D This is really well written. I love the names you have chosen for your characters-- especially the name Ares-- (Names are the first things your reader will notice) and I love how observant Luna was. Like Dolphin, I'm curious about why you named him Ares. It's kind of an oxymoron if you think about it, because Ares the God is blood-thirsty and cruel, while your Ares is a kind man who comforts Luna when she is upset. :)
youngpilot said...
Jun. 17, 2011 at 2:25 pm

wow...that was suuuuuuuuuuper good:) omg! even if it was in past tense ;) haha. i shall forever mention that:) i loved the details, and though the mystery of the mother's death remains, it still is amaizing:)

have you ever considered grouping your stories into a single file and trying to publish them as a short story book? I was just thinking because they are so good that you might have a chance of true publication, but have no idea where you could send them:) magizines perhaps? g... (more »)

ForeverFelix said...
Nov. 24, 2010 at 9:52 pm
I really like this. Sad, but really full of emotion. Keep writing? =)
-Missy- said...
Oct. 18, 2010 at 8:17 pm

It was very sad, but my kind of story. Good job with the write! Whatever inspired you, it truly worked.


War with no peace, hate with no love.

iluvnacho replied...
Oct. 19, 2010 at 7:32 pm
Thank you everybody for reviewing! I'll try to comment on your work, but it's kind of hard with the teenink problem now.
Alexia_Grey said...
Oct. 16, 2010 at 5:49 pm
AWW.. thats so sweet.. and sad but beautiful!! keep writing!
iluvnacho said...
Oct. 15, 2010 at 11:10 am
thank you so much! I apprieciate comments!
Macx14 said...
Oct. 15, 2010 at 5:41 am
Sad, but beautiful writing. Great job!!
Healing_Angel This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Oct. 18, 2010 at 3:01 am
I love this! Sad, powerful and well written. Keep Writing!
iluvnacho replied...
Jan. 21, 2012 at 7:28 pm
Thank you, Dolphin! (: I picked it for the contrast...kind of like a deceiving name thing.
Snow-White-Queen replied...
Oct. 24, 2012 at 10:40 pm
Very lovely :) But the constant grammatical errors were a bit distracting.
Site Feedback