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The Water This work is considered exceptional by our editorial staff.

I sit here on these stone steps, warmed by the summer sun, watching the water before me flow. It appears innocent as it caresses the small rocks and pebbles around it, but I can sense a deeply buried fury. It does not want to stay like this, tame and innocent. It wants to rise up and flood the hated stone. It wants to see the city blocks crumble beneath its raging strength.

But the prison walls are too strong, and the water polishes them as it tries to escape. The light glints prettily through the water, onto the rocks. The people around pay no heed to the hissing roar, do not fear the terrible beast that they themselves have created.

The water's thoughts are mad and incoherent, but it knows one thing with startling clarity. It knows that one day it will rise up and have its revenge. And one thing I know, is that it is right.





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RyanTorres said...
Sept. 11, 2012 at 8:33 am
Same thing here i will never be able to go to the beach again and think of it the same way
 
leafyThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 14, 2011 at 1:42 pm
I love this, theslighrly poetic flash fiction. Nice job! 5/5
 
JoPepper said...
Aug. 3, 2011 at 4:25 pm
I love it, I feel the same way!!!!! Good job don't stop writing!!!!!!:D
 
.Izzy. said...
Jul. 1, 2011 at 6:22 pm
I'm never going to go to a beach and look at the water the same way again :o I love personification! This was short and got the point across nicely. I like how at the end you say that it will have its revenge. Hm...a flood maybe?
 
Amiee said...
Sept. 2, 2010 at 7:35 am

wow, this is cool

i never thought of water like this, i really like this! it's personal but it makes you think of water with a whole different view point.

it describes water as calm and beautiful, but it also describes the water's dark side.

in a few words, GOOD JOB! LUV IT!

 
thepreechyteenager said...
Sept. 2, 2010 at 6:31 am

Kind of cool.  You usually don't come across a piece completely based on personification, in fact I don't think I ever have before.  But I think I like it, nice job.  Your words choice was very good throughout, but I think at one point you could have used a better word than 'prettily', I'm thinking something like, 'with splendor' would work well.  Anyway, nice job, keep writing, five starts!

Can toy comment and rate my piece, "Encounter"?

 
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