Green Man Lowers Gas Prices

July 12, 2010
By JJjuice SILVER, Huntington Beach, California
JJjuice SILVER, Huntington Beach, California
6 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
Keep your face in the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.

I was driving over the Queensborough Bridge toward Manhattan in my Fuel Mobile when I spotted a gigantic island of floating trash.
"Excellent!" I cried. "Treasure!"
I screeched to a halt on the side of the road, sprung out in my neon green suit, and flew toward the gold. I could already smell it—the sweet scent of rotting apples, moldering cheese, and old shoes.
Suddenly, my arch nemesis, Doctor Hummer, vroomed onto the island, his red wheels bouncing and his exhaust pipes spewing gallons of carbon monoxide.
"You're not getting this trash today," he laughed. "You and your dumb recycling scheme. As if you could turn trash into fuel."
"That's what you think..." I snorted, jamming trash into my rocket launcher. "I think you'll appreciate my new weapon."
BAM! A trash missile shot through the air, barely skimming his nose.
"Ooh, that tickles," Hummer mocked, loosening one of his tires.
To tell you the truth, I didn't know how to aim it yet, but I kept stuffing trash in it anyway.
Without warning, Hummer launched his front tire into the air. It whirled toward me like a deadly boomerang.
"Ow!" I yelped, rubbing my eye. "That was mean!"
I launched another trash rocket, shattering his windshield.
"That was a low blow," Hummer pouted. "How am I supposed to see through a cracked windshield?"
Bam! Bam! Bam! Three more missiles struck his windshield as he babbled angrily on.
"Timber!" Hummer squeaked as he collapsed into the Hudson River.
"Ha," I cried in satisfaction as I stuffed all the dirty trash into my Fuel Mobile, where it would be processed into pure fuel. Green Man lowers gas prices once again.

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