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June 19, 2010
By aMANDA365 BRONZE, Versailles, Indiana
aMANDA365 BRONZE, Versailles, Indiana
1 article 5 photos 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
1.No one can make you feel inferior without your consent
- Eleanor Roosevelt
2.I'll get there alive even if it kills me!
- Homer Simpson
3.It's okay to be crazy, but don't be insane.
- P Diddy


"I love you," Devan whispered, his voice sweet and silky.

"I love you too," Alexis murmured.

He smiled. Reaching for the small table he grabbed the gun.

"Then prove it to me," he said his voice quiet.

Alexis stared at the gun. She knew what Devan wanted her to do.

Reaching for the gun she heard a small gasp behind her. She whipped around pointing the
gun at the sound. It was Sarah. She had followed her to Devans small house.

Devan stared at her his eyes alight as though they were on fire.

He pointed to Sarah. Alexis knew what to do.

She raised the gun aiming it carefully at Sarah's head.

"Alexis," Sarah cried her voice breaking," you don't want to do this!"

Alexis remained silent, ignoring her friends plea.

"I have to do this," she said her voice remaing firm.

She fired.

Sarah's body fell to the ground, a crumpled heap.

Turning back to Devan the thrall began to lift.

Shaking, Alexis realized what she had done. She backed away from her friends body.

Sarah was dead and it was her falt. No, she hadn't wanted to. Devan he made her. She
looked up.

Devan was walking towards her his hands outstretched reaching for her face.

She retreated violent from his touch nearly falling over the small chair by the table.

A question was buring inside her that she feared to ask. She did anyways.

"Why did you make me kill her?" she asked her voice wavering.

Ignoring her question Devan instead said in mocking tones,"You are a killer Alexis."

Alexis backed away. She was shaking, more than anything she wanted to get away from

Devan. One thing she knew was that she was not a killer. Devan was.

"What do you think," he began his eyes catching hers," everyone will think when they
discover poor innocent Sarah was murdered by you?"

She couldn't move. Her mind felt stuck. She could not look away from Devans face.

Forcing herself to speak she answered,"You made me do it."

He smiled.

Then hes smiley slowered turned into laughter. A sickening laughter that made Alexis's
stomach churn and eyes burn.

Turning from her he jumped out the window and into the darkness of the night.

The author's comments:
not finished

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This article has 3 comments.


on Jul. 9 2010 at 8:12 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

This was great, very catching and well-written, very good emotions.  Dark and mysterious.  Can't wait for more!

on Jul. 5 2010 at 6:06 pm
aaaaaqweqweqwe SILVER, Somewhere, Illinois
6 articles 0 photos 67 comments

I agree with megaphone, a bit of editing and this story has potential. Just watch your commas, stuff like that I think the premise and wording are excellent.I just ont understand why its under scifi/fantasy.

If you get the chance, check out some of my work

 

Great job keep writing:)


on Jun. 25 2010 at 1:03 am
Megaphone1927 SILVER, The Tardis, Tennessee
6 articles 0 photos 43 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you don't peer into the shadows, you won't see the ghosts."-Flora Segunda

Nice! I do love me some darkly-themed manipulation!

With just a little bit of editing, this piece could go far!



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