Dying | Teen Ink

Dying

June 14, 2010
By JustWriteee SILVER, Phoenix, Arizona
JustWriteee SILVER, Phoenix, Arizona
5 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
Never let anyone else's expectations get in the way of who you want to be.


Let the world take a big step and look around today. What do you really see? Don't look at the little things like your overpaid T.V screen or the laptop your parents bought you for your 15th birthday. Look at the people holding those meaningless items. Because the truth is-they're meaningless. Look at the people and how they they fascinate over having something they can't have. Humans want what they can't have. It's common sense.

Well I try not to think of it that way sometimes. You know how you-see-something-and-you-just-really-want-it-so-you-beg-your-parents thing. I was like everyone else wanting what I couldn't have. Until it was the day that changed my life. I was sitting on the back of my parents SUV and just looking out the window. It was suppose to be a day of fun and excitement at the lake. We have these "family days" and we go to the lake and have a BBQ and talk about life. Only bad thing is the car ride is endless as it feels.

Melissa-my over dramatic older sister, was painting her finger nails as she talked on her cell phone with Brad. Stupid Brad is her boyfriend which is disgusting not to mention how he is irresponsible. He thinks he can do whatever he wants whenever he wants. The world is his oyster-supposedly.

Yeah I may be sixteen and a girl. Like my older brother also says "girls are so dumb". What does he know? He's just some pathetic 20 year old who tries to get laid every once and while. Big diff what he cares.

"Anastasia I don't get you." Melissa says as she touches a button on her IPhone. She got her IPhone when she saw her best friend Candice with one at school. She's a senior and a major popular-shallow-wanna be girls. She gets what she wants and more.

"And?" I say not caring about what she has to say. She never even read a book, she never really cared who she dated. But am I one to really judge? No. I am guilty of trying to be like her. Yes I want to be shallow and insincere about myself. Just to be like her; the school's most popular girl.

"You have everything you want and still you manage to be a dork." She looks at her nails. Like she cares about who I am? Since when is she so caring and sensitive? Not that shes showing any of those characters right now or anything. It's just...that...well...she's Melissa.

"I'm not you," I say while maintaining my eyes on the road...pretending it's something of interest. "I know that." She smiles deviously then scowls. "It's just your so pretty Anastasia. You everything in front of you and still...you manage to do nothing but act weak." She proves to herself that theres an ounce of decency in her.

"What do you mean?" I give her my full attention. Then she just looks at me smiling like I've fallen for some trap and then her hair turns into snakes and....I'm stone.

I keep hearing beep..beep...beep. Until I realize I'm in my tent and that was all just a dream. Medusa as Melissa was just a dream....a dream. But then I hear screams and cries like if someone is slaughtering pigs. But instead of pig oinks and cries it's human ones. I rush out of my tent unaware and clueless to the fact that my hair feels like snakes biting at my roots.

When I open my sisters tent-where all the screaming is, she screams. I look in her mirror and see Medusa in front of me and...trees. As I open my eyes to see me still in the car, with Melissa still on the phone with Brad. Relief emerges from me with one big sigh of relief. And all is well...I say to myself.

Melissa begins to talk to dad saying that she needs to go to the bathroom. Dad makes turn to rest stop in the free way.W With all happening so quickly and so suddenly. A car comes crashing forward and smothers into a tree. Leaving us to only crash into the building. And what was the cause? One car who tried to make a U Turn but failed.

Hoping that I will wake up and just run to my family and hug them, I fall faint. Remembering nothing but lies and hopes. Falling into a whole so deep-that I can't breathe. My breath unbearably unsteady and falling short gasping for something....something. But what is that something? I need...I need...I just need. Or do I want?

Then I fall into black surface contained with black walls and emerging into something...something that leaves me speechless. As a big screen fills with pictures and memories fading a way in the distance. Replaying a little girl that I can't remember of. Then I realize it was me. Or was me? From start to finish going through the motions. Going so unbearably fast..I can't keep up. I feel a piercing pain stuck to my throat trying to escape but can't fall short.

Trying to understand what really happened? And then the screen goes to my last moment-the moment I...I...died. My mom's face blurring with pain and my dad..oh my dad! My sister Melissa! And don't forget my older brother! Pain overwhelms me...but I can' cry. Tears do not escape me. Left to be trapped with pain that could not be undone.

Then the light opens up and leads me to a bridge. A bridge with my family waiting for me! Telling me to go on with them. But I can't theres something I HAVE to do. So I linger and walk through the other bridge that awaits me. Calling my name ever so slowly. When something so devious appears and leads me through. To see this is not what I wanted. This is not what I wanted. It's...it's...hell. And it's so inviting and I can't move or leave or RUN. My body filling with regret with pain, just stands there.

And someone pushes me...leads me...into the other bridge. The safe one...where I am meant to be. This someone has eyes so inviting...hands so strong. He mesmerizes me with every short glance my way. With no heart to really have a beat. Just knowing that I feel....different. Beat..beat..beat...thump..thump, feels just so right. And he leaves once I cross the bridge. "Are you coming?" I say halfway across.

He just smiles and leaves through the light. Who was that person? Then I realize and remember that he's my guardian angel. I smile and run where my family is waiting for me.


The author's comments:
No matter how much time you have left, you never know. Do not be scared of death or be frightened by it. It will happen and you must let go of the unsureness and live. Because if you live with fear you will only let the negative know what your weakness is. Another thing, try to look at your life today and realize that your life is complete. That you don't need anything but the feeling in your gut that your you. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

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