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Hate Never Dies (1)

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--- I’ll hate you forever, my friend. Or is love the right word?--- I thought as I stared down at my best friend’s grave.

I had only been a vampire for a short while, and Jeff and even shorter time. But I was angry at him for not telling me. There he was, lying unbreathing. Pretending to be dead. And he hadn’t cared enough to warn me. Vampires can sense each other, so he would know I was there, but he wouldn’t recognize me. I recognized him, though. And I would be here when he came up tonight, ready to confront him.

My parents weren’t there. They had disliked Jeff, to say the least. They were good, old-time conservatives, and he hated the system. Besides that, they also thought I was dead. No one else was here that I knew. To them, I was a stranger, someone to be avoided.

I stayed, head bowed, while people filed away. They thought I was crying. I wasn’t, of course; Vampires don’t cry. I waited until the coffin had been buried. Then I turned and slowly walked into the forest to wait.

I waited through the service, through the party afterward, until it was finally dark. When it was safe to do so, I sped over to wait for Jeff to dig himself up.

After about 2 hours, I started to see some movement. I backed away, knowing what would happen when ---- Crash!!! Dirt went flying, as well as coffin and my undead best friend. He seemed to have some instructions, because he immediately put the coffin back and buried it. Then he turned to face me.

“Julia?” he looked shocked. “It’s you? You’re a vampire?”

“Yes, I am.” I smiled grimly. “ I have a few questions for you. You knew where to find me, so why didn’t you tell me you’d been changed? Don’t you trust me? And who’s your creator? Did you agree to this? Did you understand?”

“I didn’t know how to tell you. Of course I trust you. I didn’t agree to or choose this. I don’t know who my creator is. But what about you? Why didn’t you tell me why you faked your own death?”

“Would you have believed me? I mean, I was always the one who read vampire stories and believed them. You’re the practical one; would you have believed me?.... I don’t know who my creator is, either. I mean, I know him from before, I just can’t remember where….” I trailed off, lost in thought.

“Well, he might be the same guy. If you want to meet him---“ Jeff broke off as I snarled, furious.

“Meet him? You think I want to meet the man who may be responsible for—“ I broke off. I couldn’t even get the words out. “ never. Well,” I continued with an icy smile, “ I’ll be in touch, young enemy of mine.”

And I was gone, speeding silently away from the boy I both loved and hated, he whom fate had brought to me and now threatened to take away.
To Be Continued…



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This article has 9 comments. Post your own now!

bookworm29 said...
Jun. 6, 2011 at 7:13 pm
Dudes, I think Lorelei's work is excellent the way it is... after all, it reflects her own style and voice... assuming Lorelei is a girl.
 
Lorelei said...
Sept. 3, 2010 at 12:35 pm
okay people, PLEASE COMMENT ALREADY. I want to know your opinion whether you like it or not!!
 
qui133 said...
Sept. 3, 2010 at 12:21 pm
the ending is good but the beginning is a bit rushed.
 
Lorelei replied...
Sept. 3, 2010 at 12:36 pm
rushed how?so I don't make the same mistake again
 
qui133 replied...
Sept. 3, 2010 at 12:52 pm
well, ultimintly it's your writting, and only you know exactly what you want from this peice. personaly, i would put more detail into the history behind how the two main characters become vamps, and also more on why Julia is so mad at Jeff. you can't just have two people hate eachother for some random reason, you have to get the perfect thing that sets them against eachother. once you have that, you build the rest of your story off it.
 
Lorelei replied...
Sept. 5, 2010 at 1:41 pm

She shows her anger later on, once i get the next parts posted

 

 
FateshiddenWriter said...
Jun. 16, 2010 at 8:57 am
i really like this =]
 
FateshiddenWriter replied...
Jun. 16, 2010 at 9:00 am

but it does need work.

put more detail in it and try not to rush things.

 
Lorelei replied...
Jun. 16, 2010 at 6:04 pm
thanx for the advice, but could you tell me exactly what is rushed? just so I can fix it
 
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