Hate Never Dies (1) | Teen Ink

Hate Never Dies (1)

June 11, 2010
By Lorelei SILVER, Newport News, Virginia
Lorelei SILVER, Newport News, Virginia
9 articles 0 photos 56 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Nothing is ever easy"- Zeddicus Zul Zorander, copied by Richard Rahl


--- I’ll hate you forever, my friend. Or is love the right word?--- I thought as I stared down at my best friend’s grave.

I had only been a vampire for a short while, and Jeff and even shorter time. But I was angry at him for not telling me. There he was, lying unbreathing. Pretending to be dead. And he hadn’t cared enough to warn me. Vampires can sense each other, so he would know I was there, but he wouldn’t recognize me. I recognized him, though. And I would be here when he came up tonight, ready to confront him.

My parents weren’t there. They had disliked Jeff, to say the least. They were good, old-time conservatives, and he hated the system. Besides that, they also thought I was dead. No one else was here that I knew. To them, I was a stranger, someone to be avoided.

I stayed, head bowed, while people filed away. They thought I was crying. I wasn’t, of course; Vampires don’t cry. I waited until the coffin had been buried. Then I turned and slowly walked into the forest to wait.

I waited through the service, through the party afterward, until it was finally dark. When it was safe to do so, I sped over to wait for Jeff to dig himself up.

After about 2 hours, I started to see some movement. I backed away, knowing what would happen when ---- Crash!!! Dirt went flying, as well as coffin and my undead best friend. He seemed to have some instructions, because he immediately put the coffin back and buried it. Then he turned to face me.

“Julia?” he looked shocked. “It’s you? You’re a vampire?”

“Yes, I am.” I smiled grimly. “ I have a few questions for you. You knew where to find me, so why didn’t you tell me you’d been changed? Don’t you trust me? And who’s your creator? Did you agree to this? Did you understand?”

“I didn’t know how to tell you. Of course I trust you. I didn’t agree to or choose this. I don’t know who my creator is. But what about you? Why didn’t you tell me why you faked your own death?”

“Would you have believed me? I mean, I was always the one who read vampire stories and believed them. You’re the practical one; would you have believed me?.... I don’t know who my creator is, either. I mean, I know him from before, I just can’t remember where….” I trailed off, lost in thought.

“Well, he might be the same guy. If you want to meet him---“ Jeff broke off as I snarled, furious.

“Meet him? You think I want to meet the man who may be responsible for—“ I broke off. I couldn’t even get the words out. “ never. Well,” I continued with an icy smile, “ I’ll be in touch, young enemy of mine.”

And I was gone, speeding silently away from the boy I both loved and hated, he whom fate had brought to me and now threatened to take away.
To Be Continued…


The author's comments:
This is my first vampire story. If you have ANYTHING to say, PLEASE comment!

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This article has 9 comments.


on Jun. 6 2011 at 7:13 pm
bookworm29 PLATINUM, Rockville, Maryland
28 articles 2 photos 61 comments
Dudes, I think Lorelei's work is excellent the way it is... after all, it reflects her own style and voice... assuming Lorelei is a girl.

Lorelei SILVER said...
on Sep. 5 2010 at 1:41 pm
Lorelei SILVER, Newport News, Virginia
9 articles 0 photos 56 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Nothing is ever easy"- Zeddicus Zul Zorander, copied by Richard Rahl

She shows her anger later on, once i get the next parts posted

 


on Sep. 3 2010 at 12:52 pm
__horizon133 PLATINUM, Portage, Michigan
26 articles 0 photos 232 comments

Favorite Quote:
"laugh, and the world laughs with you. laugh hysterically, and for no apparent reason, and they will leave you alone." anonymous

well, ultimintly it's your writting, and only you know exactly what you want from this peice. personaly, i would put more detail into the history behind how the two main characters become vamps, and also more on why Julia is so mad at Jeff. you can't just have two people hate eachother for some random reason, you have to get the perfect thing that sets them against eachother. once you have that, you build the rest of your story off it.

Lorelei SILVER said...
on Sep. 3 2010 at 12:36 pm
Lorelei SILVER, Newport News, Virginia
9 articles 0 photos 56 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Nothing is ever easy"- Zeddicus Zul Zorander, copied by Richard Rahl

rushed how?so I don't make the same mistake again

Lorelei SILVER said...
on Sep. 3 2010 at 12:35 pm
Lorelei SILVER, Newport News, Virginia
9 articles 0 photos 56 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Nothing is ever easy"- Zeddicus Zul Zorander, copied by Richard Rahl

okay people, PLEASE COMMENT ALREADY. I want to know your opinion whether you like it or not!!

on Sep. 3 2010 at 12:21 pm
__horizon133 PLATINUM, Portage, Michigan
26 articles 0 photos 232 comments

Favorite Quote:
"laugh, and the world laughs with you. laugh hysterically, and for no apparent reason, and they will leave you alone." anonymous

the ending is good but the beginning is a bit rushed.

Lorelei SILVER said...
on Jun. 16 2010 at 6:04 pm
Lorelei SILVER, Newport News, Virginia
9 articles 0 photos 56 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Nothing is ever easy"- Zeddicus Zul Zorander, copied by Richard Rahl

thanx for the advice, but could you tell me exactly what is rushed? just so I can fix it

on Jun. 16 2010 at 9:00 am
FateshiddenWriter GOLD, Williamsburg, Virginia
16 articles 0 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
if i were the rain could i ever merge with someones heart like the way rain merges with the sky and earth- BLEAH QUOTE

but it does need work.

put more detail in it and try not to rush things.


on Jun. 16 2010 at 8:57 am
FateshiddenWriter GOLD, Williamsburg, Virginia
16 articles 0 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
if i were the rain could i ever merge with someones heart like the way rain merges with the sky and earth- BLEAH QUOTE

i really like this =]