The Cloud Girl

April 21, 2010
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Her love of the rain plastered her face on a cloud. She sobbed rain drops, and her nose dripped snowflakes. Beauty was jumping to its death on the ground she used to live. Below people called for her, but her smile had not stayed with her. Replaced by a cloud. Her eyes turning green to gray as she watched life without her. It played before the girl in the cloud. The sky above her parted and the sun melted the snow within her. Falling with what was once a part of her, she landed on the ground. The melted snow and rain lay heavy on her eyelashes and kissed her back. With each mile she walks, she dries.

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jonas_chick899 said...
May 14, 2010 at 10:59 pm
yayy i loved it!!!!! awesome word choice!!
lucky7 replied...
May 15, 2010 at 1:21 pm
Thank you jonas_chick899! I really appreciate your feedback thank you for taking the time to read my work(:
BleedingRose said...
May 14, 2010 at 10:46 am

Absolutely luv it!  Beautifully written, wonderfull wordplay, and your style is very unique!  I like how you respond to comments, hardly anyone does that!  Keep writing.  :)


lucky7 replied...
May 15, 2010 at 1:22 pm
Wow, thank you! Your comments really do mean a lot to me! It is so nice to be critiqued by other young writers. And I hope that by replying I show you how much I appreciate the time you took to comment! Thank you so much(:
BleedingRose replied...
May 19, 2010 at 9:52 pm

Your most welcome!  :)  I'm glad peeps other then me reply, I'm glad you get it too!  ;)


DestinysAgent said...
May 13, 2010 at 7:22 am
I really like your writing style, though I found this a little bit difficult to follow.  But once I caught up, I really enjoyed it.  Nice job!
lucky7 replied...
May 13, 2010 at 11:02 am
Thank you! I know it is pretty hard to follow, it is really just about a girl overcoming depression. Thank you so much for you feedback!
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