My own keeper

April 25, 2010
Each day passes with every ticking clock. No matter where you are or who you are, the day will go on. I suppose my days go on the same each and everyday. Nothing changes, nothing matters.
I am sick. As I lay apon my hardened bed, in which I try to softnen, I get sicker. All I can do is be strong for myself and for my family. I try to be strong so that I wont show weakness for my younger sister. They hate to see me cry and their hearts break to know I am dying. My mother spoke words that were painfull to hear to my ears. Although she spoke them quietly, I can still hear. They all ask why I'm dying. Everyone asks but only I know the answer.It's ment to be. It was my body that had choosen to make me sick. I wish I could be like the other kids, but I"m different.
I know its not my fault. I lay here lifeless, waiting on a treatment to mend my body, but the only thing that keeps me going is my sister. She knows I have cancer and tells me everything is going to be okay. I wonder if she knows what will happen.As death creeps apon me, I know its time to say goodbye. Mom says its okay to go, but I want her to say it. Shes the one holding me here. I may look lifeless when looking into my dark cold eyes, but really i'm clenched into her arms, holding on, untill she says it. I'm strong, but she must realize i'm not strong inside.
The day came. Starring at the wall, they all walked in with tears overcoming their eyes. I could tell they could no longer hold them back. Neither could I. I told them it was okay to let it come out. Its okay to show me that you care. I know you don't want me to go, but I have to. My mother and father knilt beside my bedside. They each grabbed my hands and their voices were no longer able to speak. I could only see their mouths sputter out the words I love you. They kissed me on my check and left the room. I looked up and it was only her and I. She walked up slowley with tears that flowed with compashion. I loved her so much as she did also. She reached and whiped the tears away and then grabbed my hands. I had never seen her cry so much for anyone or anything. She said "go, gods waiting for you up there. He needs a beautiful angel to come up to heaven to sit by his side. Youll be so happy there.No more suffering here, when youll be happy there.We will meet again someday sis. She got up, kissed my forehead, said I love you, then walked away. Here mouth spoke words that were of comfort. I knew it would all be okay once I left.Her last words were what had unleashed my wings, that sent me away to heaven.

Goodbye for now.

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