The Big, but not so bad, Wolf

February 2, 2010
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As a Wolf, I spend most of my time, perusing the woods for a snack. If I’m not stomping in the woods, I’m hangin’ with my best friend, Jack. He is usually herding his sheep, and we have this agreement that I take one sheep a month. Well, one lonely day I strolled up on Jack, herding his sheep, because I really wanted to show him my new haircut. All of the sudden he starts screaming “Wolf! Wolf! Wolf!” Man! I was outta there when I saw farmers rollin’ up with some serious firepower.

Wow! I thought to myself How could Jack do that to me? I really thought we were close. So I decided to pay Mr. Jack a visit.

I strolled up outta the underbrush the next day, right next to Jack. The look on his face when he saw me was priceless, just absolute astonishment! We talked for a while, and I got everything straightened out.

Well, today is the first of the mont. I’m gonna need me a haircut and a sheep. I decided to get the haircut first, ‘cause it was on the way, and my stylist was generally free in the mornings. I went with the close buzz for summertime with this dark fur, you gotta stay cool any way you can.

Thinkin’ that Jack might not recognize me with my new haircut, I popped out of the woods right next to Mr. Jack. Needless to say, he was scared.

“Who are you? What do you want?” Jack whimpered

“I’m here for my sheep, Jack,” I said with a low raspy voice.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, and I won’t let you take any of MY sheep!!” Jack said with a bit more confidence in himself.

“Well, we had an agreement, and if you’re going to break that then you’re gonna seriously pay,” I said with a small growl in the back of my throat.

Then Jack let out this shrill air piercing scream, “WOLF!” I was expecting him to use that out, so I jumped back into the woods. However, I stayed within earshot.

“Where is the wolf, Jack?”

I didn’t have a sufficient view to see anyone but Jack.

“He…He..He just ran off into the woods I swear he was just here.”

“Well, he isn’t now, boy!” That was definitely a different voice

“You can’t keep calling us out here, Jack. We have more important things than wild goose chases!” This one was a woman, and by the look on Jack’s face, it was his mother.

“When you get home, you are going to scrub my house clean, boy! DO YOU, UNDERSTAND?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Jack whimpered. He was easily on the verge of tears.

I suppose I should give him one last chance to make good on his word!

For the final time I crept up out of the brush, right next to Jack, so we could “talk.” “Jack, you ready to play ball?”

“No, I can’t oblige you anymore!” Jack cried

“Oh, but why? We had a deal,” I said

“ No! Never again!” Jack cried again. I stared at him, and then I saw it coming, the wolf cry, I saw it. CHOMP! I couldn’t take that rise in blood pressure again. He was more trouble than he was worth. And I hear that there is a nice sheep herding girl a few villages down. It sounds like a nice place to live.

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