I felt empty..drifting away into my own pity of nothingness...I was numb all over. I didnt smile or laugh..I couldnt even begin to feel the way that your suppose to when someone dies that you care about. I began to hate the world. To curse everyone that was happy...I stopped crying myself to sleep at night..But the nightmares came to me in my deepest of sleeps. Causing the suppressed memory of the boy being slaughtered...Which were accopanied by my most frightening screams, fighting in my sleep...My numbness seemed to be my only Salvation..My nightmares my new death...But I always awoke with the boys face before me.
January 31, 2010