It's always been so quiet at night, and dark, it's always so dark. I remember that when I was very small I loathed the darkness that nighttime brought. I would lie in my bed, head fully submerged in my comforter with only my nose sticking out, begging the silence for protection from the monsters under my bed that only dwelled in the abysmal darkness that always came. Now as I think back, I realize how funny all that was, how childish, to beg the silence. Now the darkness is welcome on my skin, the silence welcome to my ears. The silence I once begged for protection has finally heeded my call. Darkness has become my haven, how many nights I wonder have I simply sat in my haven and let it consume me, soaking up all my pain and sadness, the stress of the day washing away, leaving me completely free of the horrors of the light. The silence, the wall that kept me inside my haven, the kind governor of the darkness. I wonder how old I was when it all started, when darkness became my friend, and light, something best avoided. I know that, a long time ago, I was untouched by the sadness of this world, I know that at some point I was a child of the light, I've seen in pictures a bright green eyed little boy running around in the sun, now I am a child of the dark, my green eyes now tinted with merciless gold. I am now what I suppose humans call a creature of the night, a monster, a vampire. That night all those years ago was just like any other, I was going home from school, walking in the crisp evening air, I remember thinking about my math homework, and how much of it I had. If I had been told I would have the rest of eternity to complete it I probably would have jumped for joy, it's almost a shame that I didn't, If I had, he may have missed me. He came as quickly as I breath, so quickly that it was all over in an instant, but that bite was all it took to condemn me to an endless life of darkness. It hurt, I remember that, at least, it burned into my very soul, a searing sting that still resurfaces every few years. I have never known such pain, it was like my skin was on fire, but as I said it only lasted a minute, one life altering minute. Then, I went home, my parents none the wiser. I left the next day, disappearing into the darkness, my darkness. I watched them, never going far, I don't know why I did it, maybe I wanted to be close, maybe I wanted some form of light, I still don't know even as I tell this story. I was over joyed when they moved on, finally accepting my supposed “kidnapping.” Yes that's what they had ridden it off as, I went to school and never came back, they found my book bag and some other school stuff “ mysteriously” laying around by the road I usually took home. Though, after a few months of mourning they had a baby, mom had been expecting for a while, her name is Alicia, named after my own suggestion. It did suit her she was so beautiful when she was born, just like her name, she still is. I do feel bad that she had to live through the pains of loosing her family at the age of twenty- three. Our parents, if they even counted as mine to at that point were killed in a rather terrible crash. I wasn't sad when they died, I was jealous, angry that they could have what I couldn't. Stolen from this world they were bathed in a warm heavenly light, leaving as peacefully as a person can when you're at the bottom of a six car pile up. While I was still trapped in this never ending darkness, feeling pain but never dieing, always waiting. It was a few years later that Alicia had a baby named Xavier after the brother she never knew she had, It broke my heart, even though it had long since ceased to beat. I visited him during the night. I think that may have been when I decided that the night was forgiving, I no longer cherished the light, clinging to it, I let it go. Opting for the night that promised a toothless toddler smiling innocently up at me. The twinkle in his little eyes was all the light I needed. As he grew he gained three more siblings, twin sisters- Xena, and Elisabeth, and a very small little boy named Elisia. He was very frail, probably inherited it from his grandpa, I was very weak when I was born, and mom always said I got it from my father, so I suppose he did to. She was a good mother, and had picked a hard working, caring husband, I was very proud of my little sister. It was during these times I wished I could speak to her, praise her, tell her how wonderful she was. My wish did not stay a simple longing for very long. It was a crisp Halloween night, colder than usual and she was being mercilessly lugged along by a now nine year old Xavier, while the twins, both 7 this year filled their mouths with the candy they'd collected so far. while Elisa the smallest tag-along to busy gaping at all the “scary” decorations, to pay much attention, accidentally straying from his mommy. As soon as he realized this he did what all five year olds would and ran around in circles crying, I couldn't bear to watch my nephew of sorts cry, so I swooped down with all the grace being a vampire endows and smiled softly at him, still in the same clothes I'd worn all those nights ago, which was unfortunately only a t-shirt and jeans. I was freezing ( yes I could feel the cold) and was having a hard time trying to be comforting, as all I really wanted was to run back to my darkness where it was warm. I also still looked like the 14 year old boy, and its hard to look like yo have good intentions when you're trapped in the bowls of teenagerdom. Although my skin was far paler, and flawless, apparently beauty was what you got in return for having to live forever, and if you looked close enough you would notice my unnaturally long fangs. Elisa ( who didn't look hard enough) looked at me with the wide innocent eyes that children were born with and smiled and giggled. I grinned and playfully asked what was so funny, he replied with a quiet “ your not wearing a costume silly.” I snickered and sighed “I guess not huh?” That was when my little sister ran up and hugged the little tyke who had completely forgotten that he was supposed to be crying. At that moment everything stood still. I had only ever watched her from afar, but now that I saw her I realized she looked just like our mother, so much so that I had been tempted at the time to call her mom. Instead I smiled “ Guess the little guy belongs to you, hmm?” I remember thinking that at the time all I seemed to do was ask questions. I sighed, the night was calling, the wind caressing me like an old lover, I smiled and with a quiet good bye began to walk off, only to be stopped by a call of ”wait!” from my little sister. I turned a she ran to me and I asked if there was something wrong. She sighed and said “ shouldn't you be with your parents “ My eyes darkened at the thought, I had been so tempted to look at her and say “yes, but due to a twist of fate I'm a vampire so...” but I smiled wistfully instead and looked at the two twins staring up at me and grinned at there innocence. “Its great I responded softly, the innocence of a child.” She nodded in agreement “ it is, but I still want to know why you're not with your parents.” As always she was so straight forward. During the years I had watched her grow, I noticed more and more, that if she wanted something she always ended up getting it. “I don't have any parents, but I do need to go” was all I could say, I didn't want to lie, but the whole truth was far too earth shaking to relay at the time , and then she threw the sympathetic mom type act at me, “ I'm so sorry. How?” She asked calmly, I grimaced and replied with a non specific answer. A car wreck, “Oh!” She exclaimed. “Mine to!” Was that excitement? She sounded more like a teenager than I did and I had been one for almost thirty years. I tilted my head back, the night was screaming my name now, begging for me to return to its forgiving embrace, I was hungry, and could feel the blood lust slowly consuming my thoughts. Every other word she said sounded like blood, things were getting dangerous. If things had continued, I probably would have made a run for it. Then I felt a tug on my pants straying me from my thoughts about a certain salty red liquid. and looked down to see Elisabeth or was it Xena, looking curiously at me, “ you look like momma.” She said, her sister giggling quietly in the background. I smiled, aah the perception of 7 year olds. The oldest in the gang asked what my name was, and before I had time to think a calm Xavier slipped out.