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Missing Identity

Fuzziness surrounded me. I felt numbness pinching at me, taking its grip over my body. I was absolutely still, feeling as though I couldn't move. I wasn't sure I wanted to move. But the numbness was fading now, taken over by a much more urgent pinching. Something was pricking my shattered self, sending shocks of pain up and down my arms, legs, back. I was aware suddenly that I was lying akwardly and curled on the ground, and not forgiving ground either. It was rough and hard and cold, like . . . like rocks. My mind took a while to remember the word. My mind registered something else, then, too. A buzzing. Loud, uneven noises all around me. Panicked. Protective. Scared. I was much more aware of the pain now, it had my entire body from flesh to the center of my bones under its spell, twisted and cruel. My eyes slowly opened. My mouth parted and let out a gasp of hurt and confusion. There were people running all around me, at first seeming slow and blurred, two legs blendig into four. Then images began to clear, and I had a sharper gaze. People, and some animals, ran around me, back and forth with no destination. Colors came next: half the crowd wore black and blue, the others were suited in silver and red. I looked down at myself, and saw more red; wet, shining, and coming out from numerous cuts all over me. But I culdn't look long; the movement of my neck had caused me to become horribly aware of the biting senstation in my head, stabbing to the beat of my heart. Bu-bum. Bu-bum. Bu-bum. It seemed a little too fast. My eyes wandered around me and saw two pairs of running feet, coming right at me. The two were part of the silver and red clan. Then, one was kneeling by my head and the other was standing by my feet, his eyes traveling across my twisted, mangled body.
"Oh God, oh God, are you okay?" The girl by my head's voice was panicky, quick. She had a matured face that was interupted by dark brown freckles to match her glossy hair. I struggled to match her with a name in my mind, but no recognization came.
"Come on, answer me! Please!" her voice was even more distressed now as she brushed a stray lock of hair away from my face I hadn't noticed before. But I could feel it leave a wet trail, and suspison crawled in my stomach as to what it was. More blood. I blinked, and scanned her face again. She didn't look too old, maybe fifteen or sixteen. I opened my mouth to counter her pleas for words with a question:
"Who are you?"
The girl didn't answer for a moment, just stared with her eyes slightly wider and her lips parted. My gaze swiveled to the youth standing by my feet, and I had no name for him either. Apprehenion was biting at me when I relized with sickened dread: I didn't know my name either. I began to breath faster, upsetting the gashes in my skin and anguish. Who am I?
"Don't- don't you remember me?" the girl asked lightly, voice trembling.
"I told you something like this would happen. I told you-"
"That doesn't help!" the girl snapped at the boy. The youth staning by my legs opened his mouth to talk again, but never got the chance. A flash of silver and a bit of stirred wind: A thrown spear lay three inches from my head, right in between me and the girl.
"We have to get her out of here," the girl insisted urgently, "Now." She went behind me and grabbed under my arms, and I let out a sound something between a cry and a gasp.
"Iknow it hurts," she said soothingly, "But you have to leave now or your going to hurt a lot more."
So saying, she nodded to the boy and he grabbed my legs, my feet hooked under his shoulders. They started to carry me me in a quick but sustained way, as though trying not to jostle me. It didn't work. My bones felt like they were moving, stabbing my body from the inside out. I could tell I was still bleeding badly, and crimson had already soaked me. I wondered how much blood I had left to shed. Their walk was faster now and I gritted my teeth rather then let loose a gasp. But I felt past that now; it felt more like I needed to scream. Scream and scream until it matched the volume of my pain, of the sharb jabs and rough stabs. I wished I was numb again, with my eyes closed and everything fuzzy. But no. I had wakened into pain and confusion and something missing more then blood: Memory.





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This article has 29 comments. Post your own now!

emilybwrites said...
Aug. 12, 2011 at 9:20 pm
fantastic job! could you check out my poem "Forgotten Domain" and some of my other work and please comment? it would mean a lot to me!
 
BleedingRose replied...
Oct. 15, 2011 at 2:40 pm

no prob, will do  =]  and thx for the comment

-Roze

 
Chaday1911 said...
Apr. 2, 2011 at 4:14 pm
I like it it is very cool and amazing.
 
BleedingRose replied...
Oct. 15, 2011 at 2:37 pm
thx a heap  =]
 
Aelita said...
May 27, 2010 at 10:00 pm
Good story- just work a little on the beginning, and the spelling.  Does anybody want to check out my story, and maybe post some comments?  It's called The Beholder.
 
BleedingRose replied...
May 30, 2010 at 8:56 am

Thanks, and ya, there are some typos!  ;)

-Rose

 
Michaela S. said...
Apr. 14, 2010 at 7:31 am

Yeah, I noticed today that I had comments on my writing from, like, a month ago. So here's my WAY overdue comment!

First off, thanks so much for reading my stories. I really appreciate it! :D

Now, onto your story. . .I love the ending to this piece! It seems almost like a mystery story and leaves me wanting more.

Keep up the great work!

 
BleedingRose replied...
Apr. 15, 2010 at 10:12 pm

Thanks so much for the comment, and no biggie!  There's a chapter two and more upcoming chapters (hopefully soon)!

-Rose

 
kate21 said...
Apr. 12, 2010 at 11:03 pm
Really good.....  Just break it into paragraphs and keep writing :)
 
BleedingRose replied...
Apr. 15, 2010 at 10:11 pm

Thanks, I'll keep that tip in mind!

-Rose

 
FallenTornado said...
Apr. 9, 2010 at 9:30 am
this is just so amazing it really is
 
Prunella said...
Mar. 26, 2010 at 1:36 pm
This is really quite good, Sydney.  I am very impressed.  Keep up the good work and I will be  Keeping up with your writings.  You go!!!
 
BleedingRose replied...
Mar. 27, 2010 at 7:31 pm
Thanks so much!  :)
 
inspir3d This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 11, 2010 at 7:39 pm
nice job, very suspenseful :) hey check out my story Alive...its also @ a girl who lost her memory :) thanks!!
 
BleedingRose replied...
Apr. 7, 2010 at 10:34 am

Awesome sauce, I will definitely do that!  Thanks for the comment! 

-Rose

 

 
BleedingRose said...
Mar. 11, 2010 at 10:46 am
Thanks, I know I should probably do that! I was just feeling lazy. ;)
 
monster-chick-14 said...
Mar. 11, 2010 at 9:59 am
this is great. ill give you a tip though, break the big paragraphs up a little more but other than that great job!
 
BleedingRose replied...
Mar. 11, 2010 at 10:46 am
Thanks, I know I should probably do that! I was just feeling lazy. ;)
 
amaranth178 replied...
Apr. 2, 2010 at 1:14 pm
I agree with the advice on paragraphs but this is a great story! What inspired it?
 
BleedingRose replied...
Apr. 11, 2010 at 9:22 am

Honestly, I have no clue!  I just have a huge imagination, so things just come to me out of the blue sometimes. 

-Rose

 
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