A Sailor's Story

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A sailor once told me, the tale of a missing blue jacket lost at sea. He said it was as dark as night, with a storm as vicious as a thousand lions.

With the sky only lit by lightning, a boat was overturned by massive waves. The sailor woke in the arms of a beautiful maiden.

The maiden promised him life in return of his trust. With his wife and children at home, he reluctantly agreed.

He said as the storm passed, the maiden brought Jack near the shore. “I’ll show you a ravishing part of the sea.” She promised with a cunning smile.

He said before reaching shore, the beautiful maiden and Jack dove into the brink. The bottomless waters engulfed them, for he was never seen again.

A sailor once told me, the tale of a missing blue jacket lost at sea. He said no one would ever discover the missing sailor, and the beautiful maiden killer.





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hianita said...
Dec. 8, 2013 at 10:17 am
Thank you for everyones feedback. I have rewritten this poem in efforts of making it clearer. See it on my profile! :)
 
WaffleManThing said...
Dec. 13, 2011 at 8:38 pm
on line four going from spaces, you said he said? what did he say or did u mean she?fix that and also i like were u are going with it but why did the maiden take him to shore if he was just to die anyways?why not just take him, maybe u should say he was lonley and wished to see his children again? and she promised to take him for a last day with his family but add a twist he ends up in the locker? :) sorry for being mean just helping
 
love.v said...
Dec. 19, 2009 at 6:20 pm
it's a little confusing to read, but maybe if you were a little more specific it would help.
 
hawkfire said...
Nov. 3, 2009 at 4:39 pm
confusing yet well written
 
Madeline said...
Oct. 12, 2009 at 10:34 pm
It was really confusing. I read it five times and still didn't get it.
 
Travis replied...
Oct. 13, 2009 at 7:24 pm
"Blue Jacket" is a sailor. I looked it up and that's what she means- there was a sailor missing.
 
Madeline replied...
Oct. 14, 2009 at 6:55 pm
ok..thanks
 
Sam K. said...
Oct. 7, 2009 at 7:42 pm
The story was challenging to follow along. It took me about three times to read the story to figure it out. The first paragraph sounded that the blue jacket was as dark as night, with a storm as vicious as a thousand lions. The story also seems to skip around to different settings and events. I did like the creativity and imagination. The story was alright but maybe next time try to be more specific and add more details.
 
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