September 11, 2009
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As I'm sitting here, in this box-shaped room, staring at my prey three feet away from me, I am anxious. This child, an innocent child, will die. She is nothing to me, nothing at all. When she wakes, only then will she notice my presence. She is sleeping calmly, probably dreaming sweet childish fantasies of blue skies and purple unicorns flying to see a magical princess. Little does she know that in a few short hours her rosey red complexion will fade away to meet a dull white color. Little does she know that the curls that surround her face will fade and cover a life-less dull face. Little does she know of her radiant blue eyes fading with the sunset. Unlike the sun, her eyes will never surface again.

~Little does she know of the monster I am~

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dragonfan said...
Nov. 18, 2009 at 3:57 pm
i loved it i sowed my writting app teacher and she liked it too!!! i think i know y ur teacher was worried tho,lol
RLJoy This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 15, 2009 at 9:39 pm
This is written very well! The story may be shorter than others but I loved it!!!!! Keep writing
evie_girl_novelette445 said...
Nov. 15, 2009 at 7:20 pm
Oh, I'm sorry, I just read that it was supposed to be a poem . . . ignore my previous comment! :P I'm looking for part 2! :)
smartypantsscorpio22 replied...
Nov. 20, 2009 at 10:06 am
Part two isn't published yet. Although I sent it in a while ago. It makes me sad inside.... Like something is missing.
evie_girl_novelette445 said...
Nov. 15, 2009 at 7:17 pm
Good job! I do, however, think that it would be more interesting to read if you shaped it to be more like a story. Was it written to be a poem? I love the flow of your writing! Keep it up!
hawkfire said...
Nov. 5, 2009 at 3:14 pm
now tell me, are you sure this is fiction
UnidentifiedArtist said...
Oct. 7, 2009 at 8:08 am
LOL this was good. Was LOLing at the teacher.
cornflake52 replied...
Aug. 5, 2010 at 11:31 pm
beautiful! that could be like a prologue to a whole series of books about creatures that eat the life force or the things yet to come in a persons life (thats why children are good prey) and they have been captured and are being fed in a box! or not you know its a nice symbolic piece as it is a just got carried away sry.... xD nvm
annkaykay2011 said...
Oct. 2, 2009 at 4:12 pm
It was great!
It has flow, and a dark humor to it in a way!
Lol nice on scaring yr teacher! :P
smartypantsscorpio22 replied...
Oct. 3, 2009 at 8:52 am
Ha! Thanks!
ultrabookworm replied...
Nov. 8, 2009 at 10:38 pm
It'll sound dumb when I send this in, but here goes...
To me it sounded symbolic for the loss of innocence, not quite as literal. Intentional?
smartypantsscorpio22 said...
Oct. 2, 2009 at 3:04 pm
I just sent in the second part of this poem. Keep your eyes open for it if you liked this one. =)
Thank you so much for your feedback!
Sherry W. said...
Oct. 2, 2009 at 2:35 pm
lol freaked out the teacher huh? i can see why but wow this was so good
smartypantsscorpio22 replied...
Oct. 2, 2009 at 3:06 pm
Thank you very much!
Bandgeek16 said...
Oct. 2, 2009 at 10:07 am
This is an amazing poem! It really makes you think. It's also cool that I just happen to know the author.
Kitten111 said...
Oct. 2, 2009 at 2:23 am
LOL YAY for freaking out teachers!!!! your an awesome writer :)
smartypantsscorpio22 replied...
Oct. 2, 2009 at 3:04 pm
Thank you very much!! =D
shorty_with_style08 said...
Oct. 1, 2009 at 9:56 am
loved this artical but the monster was REALLY freakyy:))AWSOMEEE
j-diddy said...
Sept. 30, 2009 at 1:33 pm
wow realy freaky story! who is the monster thouggh? it was realy detailed i liked it alot
smartypantsscorpio22 replied...
Sept. 30, 2009 at 2:48 pm
The monster is a crazy human who feeds on children. Kinda scary and wacko, I know. But, it writes good. =D
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