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Monster

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As I'm sitting here, in this box-shaped room, staring at my prey three feet away from me, I am anxious. This child, an innocent child, will die. She is nothing to me, nothing at all. When she wakes, only then will she notice my presence. She is sleeping calmly, probably dreaming sweet childish fantasies of blue skies and purple unicorns flying to see a magical princess. Little does she know that in a few short hours her rosey red complexion will fade away to meet a dull white color. Little does she know that the curls that surround her face will fade and cover a life-less dull face. Little does she know of her radiant blue eyes fading with the sunset. Unlike the sun, her eyes will never surface again.

~Little does she know of the monster I am~



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Smoothieheart said...
Jun. 23, 2010 at 8:50 am
that. was. amazing.
 
gymbabe This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 23, 2010 at 7:31 am

This was awesome! Lol, if I'd entered this to my teacher she'd be a bit worried too.  No worries.  This was amazing.  Keep writing!

Btw, will you check out and comment on my work?

 
Cajsim said...
Jun. 15, 2010 at 10:57 pm
Wow Smartypants... this girl introduced me to teenink i just signed up and im waiting on the editors to approve a few of my pieces... For now just keep readin this girls stuff! Oh and she has a huge thing for guys that are computer programmers lol so send her an email if u got mad skillz on a pc lol and try and read some of my stuff if it gets up...
 
smartypantsscorpio22 replied...
Jun. 20, 2010 at 1:30 pm
Atleast I can drink Apple Juice and keep it in the cup...... AND!!! You're just jealous!!! =P
 
smartypantsscorpio22 replied...
Jun. 20, 2010 at 1:53 pm
lol... You're just upset that I'm better than you and that I'm prettier! lmao!
 
smartypantsscorpio22 replied...
Jun. 20, 2010 at 1:54 pm
I thought you were a monster???  Didnt you write this piece as an autobiographical poem??
 
Cajsim replied...
Jun. 20, 2010 at 1:56 pm
Sorry u left it logged on and i wrote that last comment on ur profile...
 
jhspy1 said...
May 31, 2010 at 1:24 am

good story

 

 
SUPERMANDwightHoward replied...
Jun. 2, 2010 at 7:29 pm
You know my teacher was also worried about me when she started reading my soon to be novel reapers, 1-4 posted on teenink. I think that the reason is that thoughts are so much scarier than what goes on in real life our minds are very dark places full of hate jealousy lust etc. However they are also capable of passion and caring. Good job you really got me thinking.
 
Buger replied...
Sept. 19, 2010 at 10:26 am
ur teacher doubts u...well dont be mad this is awesome cuz its extraordinaryly sweet becasue if its so then u should
 
DantesDilemma This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 28, 2010 at 6:24 pm
A good use of language and poetic metaphors, this piece holds potential. However, a couple of awkward sentences, particularly, the one about unicorns, throw it off. Overall, it possesses an attractively dark tone but suffers from a debilitating lack of polish.
 
smartypantsscorpio22 said...
May 11, 2010 at 2:32 pm
Hey Guys!!!! Monster II is up!!! It took forever to get it up, but it's totally there! If you liked this, you'll love part II. =D
 
Zalmon said...
May 10, 2010 at 5:15 pm
seriously, not funny people... but then why can't i stop laughing?!? Great piece!
 
smartypantsscorpio22 replied...
May 11, 2010 at 5:57 am
lol! Thanks!!! And yeah, these people are funny!
 
tomtamtimmy This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 29, 2010 at 4:56 am

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOL

 

 
smartypantsscorpio22 replied...
Apr. 29, 2010 at 3:09 pm
What did you think was funny? lol
 
Cuore said...
Apr. 27, 2010 at 7:57 pm
You should leave a note for your teacher saying 'your next' just to freak her out.
 
smartypantsscorpio22 replied...
Apr. 28, 2010 at 3:15 pm
You know... That's not a bad idea... MWWAHHHAHAHA.. lol
 
JacobC said...
Apr. 22, 2010 at 4:18 pm
I would be a little scared if I were your teacher, but it is awesome writing.
 
smartypantsscorpio22 replied...
Apr. 28, 2010 at 3:16 pm
If you think my teacher was scared.. Image what my mother had to say. lol
 
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