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Monster

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As I'm sitting here, in this box-shaped room, staring at my prey three feet away from me, I am anxious. This child, an innocent child, will die. She is nothing to me, nothing at all. When she wakes, only then will she notice my presence. She is sleeping calmly, probably dreaming sweet childish fantasies of blue skies and purple unicorns flying to see a magical princess. Little does she know that in a few short hours her rosey red complexion will fade away to meet a dull white color. Little does she know that the curls that surround her face will fade and cover a life-less dull face. Little does she know of her radiant blue eyes fading with the sunset. Unlike the sun, her eyes will never surface again.

~Little does she know of the monster I am~



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Bridgette17 said...
Mar. 15, 2011 at 9:20 am:
I like the repeting of little does she know because it was very exciting and effective.
 
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taylortexas said...
Mar. 14, 2011 at 4:08 pm:
Short, but very effective. I really like this, and definitely think you could expand upon this.
 
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queentabbiecat99 said...
Feb. 28, 2011 at 12:00 pm:
wow omg i love the writing it makes you think and shiver....
 
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Yuelong said...
Feb. 18, 2011 at 4:26 pm:
O.M.G. this was so intense. please become a fantasy novelist! you'll be a best seller! i know it!
 
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GeoffG said...
Feb. 1, 2011 at 3:50 pm:
Really great! Such innovation and originality. This short piece pushed boundaries!
 
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lyssa28 said...
Jan. 29, 2011 at 8:51 pm:
this was awesome
 
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TillaBoog said...
Jan. 23, 2011 at 10:55 pm:
haha I've had the teacher worried about me a couple times to ^.^ awesome read gave me chills
 
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KAT.CH said...
Jan. 11, 2011 at 5:16 am:

hmm.this is a good one

 

 
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HollandC said...
Jan. 4, 2011 at 7:39 pm:
Have you ever read John Gardner's "Grendel"? It was fantastic. I don't know if this paragraph was influenced by it, or if it's inspired by something else. Either way, I think you would really enjoy that book. Good work.
 
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Jennay. said...
Jan. 3, 2011 at 10:16 am:
If I was your teacher, I’d be worried to. But instead, the imagery just took a hold of me and I was more into the deepness of the article then the outside core. Everyone thinks of death whether they admit it or not because everyone does die one day. Some die in early age, god forbid, and some do not. My nephew is the sweetest most playful child there is and is very important in my life and to think that he will die one day, is heart breaking. All I think about is, an innocent child, just l... (more »)
 
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elvestsmaster said...
Dec. 16, 2010 at 7:16 pm:
nice, defintly worthy of something more indepth
 
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Sadia123456 said...
Dec. 1, 2010 at 5:50 pm:
Bad Bad B ad just jooking hoy
 
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BrettJolene said...
Nov. 24, 2010 at 11:26 pm:
i really like this...and id really like to see more from this little paragrph X)
 
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Lay17 said...
Nov. 24, 2010 at 4:06 pm:
WOW!!!!!! YOU'RE A GREAT WRITER. CAN YOU CHECK OUT SOME OF MY WORK?
 
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VampireChick26 said...
Nov. 21, 2010 at 5:43 pm:
Oh! Oh! Oh! Is it a VAMPIRE!? I love them! I hope it is! Poor child but lucky monster!
 
Nate.mascari replied...
Mar. 16, 2011 at 6:39 pm :
yes finally someone cares for the girl!
 
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EireneThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 2, 2010 at 11:08 am:
I love how mysterious you made it
 
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WolfConspiracy said...
Nov. 2, 2010 at 9:57 am:
WoW! Amazing work.
 
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JacobG. said...
Oct. 30, 2010 at 8:24 pm:
This is an awesome story and I keep wondering what moster this is.
 
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theyankeeguy said...
Oct. 25, 2010 at 7:46 pm:
this is really good you should add on to it some how
 
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