Elevator

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“I neva shoulda listened to Louis,” utters a thick New Jersey accent. “What the hell was she thinking when she said I eat too much, and I’m down to five powda doughnuts a day! But what she doesn’t know is that I go to the Bearded Clam and drink beer, mmmmm hahah!”

“You need to come to one of my aerobic classes sweetheart,” yells a man gyrating in short shorts with frizzy, curly hair.

“Oh my gawd, it’s Richard Simmons!”

“Trimspa, baby!” Anna Nicole Smith throws up her arms and shakes her hips.

“OH MY GAWD, IT’S ANNA NICOLE SMITH,” said Peter, “you look a lot hottah on tv,” as he stands in a puddle of his own drool, and his jaw drops.

Placing his arms on his feminine hips, “It wouldn’t hurt for you to listen to you wife and loose at least 30 pounds. I mean your belt is the Equator.” Slowly he regrets expressing his opinion.

“You look like I used to look,” caressing her fake, over operated body.

Slowly the elevator starts to tremble and the lights start to flicker. With each flash of light fear is revealed on each person’s face.

“Hmm… I wonder why the elevator can’t continue to scale up the building,” said the human aerobic disco ball.

“Cause a sissy, white boy is prancing around with an afro.”

Stands up with a look of shock on her face, “We’re being Punk’d! Ashton where are you, where are you hiding? I admit it ‘I’ve been Punk’d!’” Searching wildly for the host and he’s no where to be found. Together Peter and Richard look at each other and in unison they shake their heads. Hours tick tock away as they wait for an idea to escape from the elevator.

“It’s all your fault Richard Simmons!”

“Hunnie, think again if you didn’t weigh like a whale maybe the elevator would have enough strength to go up!” Just as Peter was charging towards Simmons he noticed a faint reflection of a light behind Anna Nicole Smiths back.

“Why are you pushing the close door button on the elevator?”

“Cause like you guys needs to work on your issues before we leave this elevator. Duh!” Simmons back hand slaps her across the face and Peter says, “You’re ugly.” He struts out of the elevator a changed man.





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