Kirigaya sat in the break room at Carly’s Sr., spinning his employee’s cap around his index finger, his cheek rested on his chin, and a bored expression painted on his face as he flipped through a manga, “Hey! Kirigaya!” Handa, his boss, called from the other room.

Kirigaya didn’t respond.

“...Kirigaya!”

Still no answer.

“KIRIGAYA! GET OUT HERE BEFORE MY FOOT FINDS YOUR BEEE-HIND!!” Handa screamed.

“What do you want?” Kirigaya responded, unfazed and monotonously. 

Handa walked in the break room and propped herself on the door, “So nice of you to finally respond, Kirigaya! You’re on kitchen duty, get to it, scrub!” she ordered.

“I don’t know why I’m even working here…” Kirigaya begrudgingly sat up and sighed out of boredom.

“Because your former unemployed-butt wounded up here and kissed my foot with RESPECT, Cadet!!” 

Kirigaya shrugged off his boss’s usual rant and headed to the kitchen. He put his hat on and began cleaning the dishes. “Such bullcra--” he groaned.

I was supposed to be a grand wizard...Not a run-of-the-mill fast food employee...Whatever… he thought to himself.

The ground rumbled, “Why does Japan have so many earthquakes…?” Kirigaya said, looking up at the shaking lights of the restaurant’s ceiling. 

But, it was no earthquake.

He looked out the window, “Oh. A prime kalarig! Didn’t expect them to show up.” Kirigaya said, still unfazed by a magical creature’s appearance on top of a building across from the restaurant. He went back to washing dishes.

“Wh--- What is that thing?!” an employee, Hirihito Kira, said, on the verge of tears.

“Get a grip on yourself, idiot. It’s just a stupid prime kalarig.” Kirigaya said. “Ah, son of a--” he cut his thumb on a knife in the sink.

“You say that like I know what a keurig is!!” Kira said, sweating and panicking.

“Kalarig. A magical creature that can only be summoned with dark arts efficient enough, and with enough black in their heart. They’re not too big a threat to me, but to you they probably will be...That stings…” Kirigaya looked at his thumb.

“H-How do you know what those things are?!” Kira said.

“Shut up and get me a bandage, will you? This hurts.”

“O-Oh, right away, sir!” Kira went to fetch the first aid.

He came back with a band-aid.

“Um...Here you go.” he handed Kirigaya the band-aid.

Kirigaya swiped it out of his hand, causing Kira to jump with fright, he wrapped the band-aid around his thumb.

“B-But seriously man! How do you know?!” Kira asked once more.

“Experience. Where I come from these things want to kill me because of my heir to the throne. But their moron-for-masters either don’t know I’ve been banished to Earth and forced to work with the worst people in existence--” 

“Hey!” Kira interjected.

“Or,” Kirigaya continued, “they’re after my blood…” he had a long pause and then went back to dishes.

“Wait, what do you mean experience?!” Kira suddenly asked.

“Will you shut your trap? I’m busy.”

“B-But the...The, uhh…”

“Kalarig?”

“Yeah! Kalarig!”
“What about it?” 

“Aren’t you gonna...Y’know, deal with it?!”

“Why should I?”

“I--- It’s from your world, you said!”

“Well, I don’t feel exactly obliged to do that.”

Kira clenched his fists, “B--- But the people--”

“People? I dunno, people haven’t done much for me...Hey, you got soap?”

“The peo-- Oh, yeah,” he handed Kirigaya the bottle of soap, “Oh, right! The people here gave you a place to stay, and a job!”

“Oh yeah, I’m oh so thankful for a dumpster called an apartment and a job that makes me want to drive my skull into the wall until it’s paste.”

“B-- But-”

“But,” Kirigaya interrupted Kira, “since you’re such a nice boy, I may feel obligated to give a damn about you and this God-forsaken world and job!” Kirigaya smiled, but it was a smile of evil intent.

“A-- Alright…” Kira shuddered.

“Good! Now get on kitchen duty while I’m out. I expect to be paid back. Fully.”

Kira nodded and saluted out of fear.

Kirigaya grabbed a bucket of water and walked outside. The city was panicking as the creature rampaged through the streets. “I haven’t seen a kalarig rampage like this ever since I was a child…” Kirigaya told himself.

Meanwhile… Kingdom of Aluk’han, neighboring dimension

“Sire. Talvis sent in the kalarig like you ordered.” Rhineyern said, bowing on a knee.

“Excellent. With the boy and magical seal given to him by the foolish council, he shall not have a chance to stand against it...And his blood will be ours.” the kingdom’s ruler, Sylver, said.

“Might I inquire about your plan with the boy’s blood?” Rhineyern said, looking up at Sylver.

“In time, you will know. But that boy’s blood is precious to us. We need it to further ourselves, those of the Kirigaya bloodline...Will all perish. And we shall advance!” Sylver laughed evilly. 

Back on Earth…

“Yo, Kirigaya!” a feminine voice said. That voice was Kobayashi Iku. Kobayashi was a magical girl who could change forms between a girl and a cat. She’s also a witch. She was sent with Kirigaya to keep an eye on him. Kirigaya wasn’t too fond of her.

“Tch, what do you want, Pest?” Kirigaya addressed coldly.

“Sheesh, mind your manners when speaking to a lady.” Kobayashi, in her cat form, hopped on his shoulder.

“Shut up, Iku.”

“Whatever! I came to remove your seal temporarily!” she said.

“Hurry up.”

“Fine, fine.” her paw touched his eye and she closed her eyes tightly, and uttered a cantation.

As the words she spoke, in a similar tongue to Kirigaya’s, Kirigaya felt the tension around his eye lessen. The red seal had vanished. Kirigaya and his banished powers awoke.

The kalarig turned and saw Kobayashi and Kirigaya. It screeched as its four legged body contorted and vomited a thick, vibranty, dark blue fluid. Acid. As the acid landed on the ground, it burned through it like a fire engulfing a lone piece of paper.

“Come at me, Fido.” Kirigaya motioned to the beast and picked up his bucket of water. Kobayashi jumped off his shoulder and changed into her human form, her cat ears and tail still lingering.

The kalarig rushed Kirigaya, making great haste, toppling buildings and cars and towers. The city was utter chaos. Kirigaya, stretched out his arm, his hand glowed with a bright, hot white, as he chanted, “Shtalicc fosfuron la’baum!” (in his language, Nelvanaán, that means “Open to me, Hell!”), a portal opened beside him. He repeated the chant once more, a portal opened in front of him. The kalarig charged into the portal that lay in front of Kirigaya. One half was in the first portal, the other half came out the second one. “Loviic!” (in his language,  that means “And now, close!”)

The portal shrunk and disappeared, cutting the prime kalarig in two. It screeched and shrieked in pain, its bottom half was gone and his now-dissected body began steaming with alien guts and blood.

“You seem nervous. How’s a drink sound?” Kirigaya poured the water bucket onto the halved kalarig. It burned through its flesh, killing it slowly. Kirigaya enjoyed every second with a sinister smile.

“Jeez, Kirigaya. Ease up. You’re freaking me out.” Kobayashi said.

“Shut up.” Kirigaya snapped back.

Kobayashi laughed.

The deed was done, and Kirigaya used the rest of the magic to wipe the city’s memories and repair everything.

“Aww, the meanie grand wizard has a heart!” Kobayashi joked at Kirigaya’s expense.

“Shut up, Iku. I’m just doing it because it’s a pain to look at.” he said, walking back to work after he finished.

“Ah, ah, ah…” Kobayashi said.

“Yeah, I know for God’s sake.” Kirigaya complained as Kobayashi put the seal back on his eye.

“All better!” she patted his cheek.

“Stop it!” he swatted at her hand, Kobayashi laughed again.

“God, I hate every fiber of your stupid being…”

“I know.” Kobayashi smiled, “Makes it more fun to tease you.”

“Moron. Get back to the apartment.” Kirigaya said, entering his workplace.

“MR. KIRIGAYA!!” Handa hounded at Kirigaya as soon as he stepped in. Kirigaya internally groaned.

“What?” he said.

“YOU LEFT THE WORKPLACE WITHOUT PERMISSION!! UNACCEPTABLE!! THAT’S GOING ON YOUR CHECK!!” she shouted.

“Yeah, yeah.” Kirigaya waved her off.

“BOY, YOU PRETTY PRAY YOUR GOOD-FOR-NOTHING HEART OUT THAT I FIND THE SMALLEST BIT OF MERCY IN MY UNFORGIVING AND COLD SOUL, OTHERWISE YOU’D BEST NOT TO TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!!” Handa threatened.

“Whatever.” Kirigaya sat in his chair and took off his cap, and continued the manga he was reading; it was like nothing ever happened.