The Downside of Loving the Written Word

April 28, 2009
“So I’m going to die?” He asked, perched on the edge of my bed as I sat at the computer.
“I’m a writer Luke.” I said calmly. “It’s what I do. Don’t take it personally.”
“Don’t take it personally?” he asked, his voice rising. Oh no, that’s not what I wanted. Luke mad might scar me mentally; he was, after all, my first born character, my best friend. Luke Samuels was loyal and strong, pensive and intelligent. He was a hunter of the supernatural, a father, and a husband; he was everything I’d ever made him, and what he was…well he was just the best.
“How can I not take it personally?” He snapped, already on his feet, angry.
“Sit down.” I called, trying to not show emotion. “Or I’ll do a re-write and crash your car.” Luke sat down immediately; jesus, anything for that car.
But it was a nice car; he deserved to drive the best, and when I’d been writing it, the Ford Bullitt had been one hell of a car. Not that it wasn’t now, it still was.
Luke was the kind of guy who treated his car like it was a member of his family, and threats to the Bullitt…well it would make him do anything. “Actually,” I said, and smirked. “I might just give it to a hobo.” Luke grimaced.
“That’s not funny Nic.”
“Neither is you being here.” I snapped, and moved away from the computer, hands shaking as they left the keyboard. “But obviously asthma and mental chatter wasn’t enough. I had to actually visualize my characters talking to me…” Luke watched me as I crossed the room and knelt before the mirror on the wall, applying make-up. “What a shallow attempt at a normal life…” I murmured, blinking as I applied mascara. “Thanks a lot big guy…” I said, and stared up at the ceiling. “Thanks a ton.”
I swore when I accidentally stabbed myself in the eye with the mascara brush.
“I still don’t understand why I have to die.” Luke whispered from behind me. I looked up into the mirror, wiping away mascara from my face and eye.
“because.” I murmured, looking down. I couldn’t tell if I was crying because he was sad, or because I’d just stabbed myself in the eye. Either way, the situation sucked. I left the mascara alone and went with the eye liner, I couldn’t screw that up. When I was done, I put on some skin colored eye-shadow.
I like comfortable, plainness.
“You’re not real Luke.” I told him, and got up, turning around. I’d run my hands through my short hair, messing it up a little bit. That’s how it was supposed to be- short, spikey, messy. “You’re the main character in a story I’m trying to tell. That’s it. You don’t exist.”
“Don’t you wish.” He said, and laughed darkly.
Oh wow, the way he laughed. Normally I would have described it as a deep chuckled, and explained the way he smiled cheerfully, and ran a hand through his thick hair self conscious of what he was thinking…but this…This wasn’t every Luke-like, he’d never…
“You wish we’d be just a figment of your imagination,” he continued on. “You wish that the car I drive, the gun I shoot, would never pass you on the street, you’d never see it in a store, or face to face…But the truth is, Nic, that we’re real.”
“We’re so real.” Came a light voice, and Oliver was standing on his right, smirking that crooked half grin. A scar, long and broad, ran from the top of his brow, down to the tip of his mouth on the right side, it even punctured his eye.
I knew this. I knew that he had a hard time focusing his eye, and shot mainly with his left.
Just like I would know he weighed one fifty, and was six three, though he could bench press two sixty.
“We’re real enough that we sit with you at Orchestra concerts and calm you down, right?” Richelle asked, stepping forward out of nothing to become Luke’s left shadow. “We’re real enough that we make you laugh when you cry at night, and we make you strong when you feel like you’re all alone.”
“I am alone.” I whispered, and she shook her head slowly.
“You’re never alone, not when we’re here.” Richelle told me.
God, I wanted to believe her, I wanted to know that she was right, I wanted to relish in the fact that Luke Samuels, Oliver Stokes, and Richelle Carmichael were real, badass people…But I knew that they weren’t.
“But I am!” I shouted, moving away from them. “I am so alone because you’re not real! You’re about as real as Pamela Anderson’s boobs! I’m bonkers, I’ve pretty much figured that out- last week I went to school dressed as a KISS member!”
“What’s wrong with KISS?” Luke asked, offended.
“IT WAS COLOR WARS!” I yelled, growing red in the face. “I was dressed in leather and white face make-up while other kids were wearing their class colors!”
“That’s not that bad…” Richelle murmured.
“I spent five hours on the computer yesterday,” I hissed, stepping back to face them, voice low. “You know what I was doing?” I baited, and they just stood there. “I was creating false e-mail accounts in your name, giving you myspaces, picking out music for your profiles, uploading your pictures. I spent fifteen minutes creating the dialogue of a fake conversation that I sent back and forth between you and Oliver! That’s wrong, that’s so wrong.” I took a deep breath. “You’re not real, and I act as if you are, I created you to be a fictional character, and I know that’s all you are, even if you try to convince me otherwise.”

Join the Discussion

This article has 104 comments. Post your own now!

Phil E. said...
Oct. 10, 2011 at 9:16 pm
nice work of literature i really enjoyed the twist in the story when you showed that the people were not real
HolliRoanoake said...
Sept. 27, 2011 at 8:30 pm
So good!! I'm going to go read part two now!
Artemis--Sherwood said...
Sept. 23, 2011 at 5:13 pm
This is soooo true! It gets kinda creepy when my characters start talking to me, but it's pretty normal now. (No, I'm not crazy.) I pretty much kill off half my characters, so they all throw little tantrums and stuff.
RosesRme said...
Sept. 18, 2011 at 9:40 am
This was brilliant!! I feel that way about my characters all the time! Though I haven't killed any yet. I hope that I never have to. KEEP WRITING!!
Thief_of_your_heart said...
Sept. 10, 2011 at 5:56 pm

I love this! it really is a work of art, and so true!

Thanks for writting it! I enjoyed it greatly!

Annie.C said...
Aug. 27, 2011 at 7:06 am
Wow, you really kept my attention the whole way... I couldn't stop reading... your first sentence was fantastic... "So I'm going to die?" I loved it!
BarefootInTheWoods said...
Aug. 23, 2011 at 10:57 pm
So true! I both love and hate when this happens to me. My mom walked in my room a couple hours ago and asked who I was talking to. I had been carrying on a conversation with Kella, the main character of the story I'm writing.
T. said...
Aug. 23, 2011 at 10:52 pm
I do this all the time! Just a few hours ago, the characters in the story I'm currently writting seemed to be causing chaos in my room. It's the price we pay, I guess.
Moonbeam Author said...
Jul. 20, 2011 at 10:32 pm
This has actually happened to me! My characters just seem to pop out of my stories and tell me what to do! It's like a battle for author at my house! I have to keep reminding myself that I'm the author and I can do what I want. This was great!
ilovewriting95 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 13, 2011 at 10:56 am
Wow that was really creative! I feel the same way with the characters of my stories and of the books I read. It feels like they actually exist but they don't. It is crazy how real something can feel to you if you let yourself believe it is real. Great job! :)
ilovewriting95 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jun. 13, 2011 at 11:03 am

By the way, I noticed that you live in Tacoma, Washington... I just visited Seattle, Washington for the past four days and flew home yesterday. I love Seattle, it is amazing. Do you like living in Tacoma? Is it similar to Seattle?

P.S. great job again on the story... I am going to go check out the second part now.

NicAliceF replied...
Jun. 13, 2011 at 12:59 pm

Thanks so much!

I love Tacoma. The only place I'd rather be is Ireland. The rain..the green. It's amazing.

ilovewriting95 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jun. 13, 2011 at 9:45 pm
You are welcome! That is awesome. Yeah, there are too many beautiful places in the world and too little time. I seriously want to travel the world someday and take pictures and write a book about it or something. That would be awesome and yeah I bet Ireland is really pretty.  :)
NicAliceF replied...
Jun. 13, 2011 at 11:52 pm
You most definitly should. Travel really does broaden the mind-there are so many places to go. I know that's what's on my list.:)
ilovewriting95 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jun. 14, 2011 at 11:48 am
Yeah, that trip totally taught me that there is a lot more to life than just being a teenager and living in my own little bubble of a world and just sticking to my same old same old routine. I definitely need to get out in the real world more and get more of an idea of what it is really like. I actually really want to go to New York, Hawaii, Australia, and New Zealand too. What about you, what places are you dieing to go to( other than Ireland) ?
NicAliceF replied...
Jun. 14, 2011 at 2:34 pm

I agree.

I've been fortunate enough to have traveled many places already within the country and even out of it, but I know that I'll be spending a lot of time in Europe and maybe even Asia. Australia and New Zeland are of course on the list as well.

ilovewriting95 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jun. 14, 2011 at 4:18 pm
That's cool! I actually have a friend at my school that lived in New Zealand for a while. She doesn't have an accent anymore but her friend that visited our school for a few days(from New Zealand) does. I actually think the Narnia movies were filmed in New Zealand, I am not sure though.
ilovewriting95 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jun. 14, 2011 at 4:19 pm
What will you be going to Europe and Asia for?
Sailaway said...
Jun. 7, 2011 at 9:32 pm
11_Jurrassic said...
Jun. 7, 2011 at 9:30 pm
You spin words into master pieces simply wonderful!
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