Flying

April 19, 2009
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I felt a hot twinge of excitement as I slammed the door to my bedroom shut. My heart was leaping inside my chest, this couldn’t be happening, it was too amazing. It was too impossible. Too unbelievable and yet no matter what physics told me, I was doing it. I was flying. My head buzzed with a million thoughts, all telling me opposing things until my mind was a blur of confusion and amazement. I clenched my fists, what If I couldn’t do it again, what if it was a one off, a miracle. I closed my eyes tight, focusing all my energy to my centre and all of a sudden I was airborne again, all of a sudden it was real. My feet lifted slowly of the ground, as my weight shifted and I was light, unbelievably light. My emotions overwhelmed me as I moved mystically upwards, in awe of my body as it shifted where my mind told it to. Gravity gave way beneath me and I felt a huge adrenaline rush flood threw my body, repeating a thousand times over in every cell, every atom of my being. It was effortless and gave me a new lease of life I never knew I possessed, as If all my years I had only been living by half. As if now I could open my mouth and truly breathe.
Anna sat opposite me, babbling about her assignment. School. It was all meaningless now, what did school matter, I could go anywhere I wanted, I could do anything I wanted. And yet with this strange sense of freedom I felt vulnerable. The desire I had always imagined was absent amongst the blazing emotions in my head. I didn’t want to escape, I didn’t want to venture. Some strange part of me, and absurdly the dominant part, wanted to stay here, with my family, my old life. I knew I was over exaggerating, even if this wasn’t some very long fantastic dream, I wouldn’t have a new life. I have had nothing else my whole existence; I could never abandon my existence even if I had this sense of freedom. The other part of me also knows this is not a dream, that this is real and this is amazing, to amazing for me, amazing for anyone for that matter. I mustn’t think to hard about, I cannot allow myself to succumb to my emotions again, it is too dangerous.
A voice cuts through my void of thought and my head jolts upright.
“Hellllo? Are you in their Izzy?” laughed Mum, waving a hand rudely in my face. Her palm is suddenly blocking my vision and I reel back, shocked out of my thoughts. I jump against my chair only my body doesn’t come down again; I am left a centre metre above its base, frozen. Abruptly I realise the danger of the situation and quickly ease back into the chair, praying no one saw. I glance around the table quickly. Anna is still eating greedily, not bothering to look up and Mum waits expectantly for my reply.
I choose my words carefully, mimicking the tone I should suspect she would consider average. “Yeah, I’m just tired.” I yawn intentionally, bringing my hand up to rub my eyes in a convincing fashion “Can I get down now?”
Her face instantly relaxes into a smile “Sure love, you get your rest.”
I nod thankful at her, letting out a long deep sigh as I tuck my chair in slowly.
“Not fair Mum!” I spin around, eyes narrowed “I never get to leave the table early, and I’m doing A-Levels for Christ sakes.”
Anna narrows her eyes at me before turning to glare at Mum. I know she will break down instantly. “She’s right Izzy.” She nods, gesturing to the chair I have just left “Just sit back down until Anna’s finished eating. I stare from Anna’s plate, piled high with food to Mum, curving my eyebrows down. I know what to do. My mouth drops open in a well practised fashion; I curl my fists into balls, mock angry, and stamp my foot.
“Not fair Mum! You always take her side, I’m doing exams to you know. Don’t I deserve a bit of support! You’re such a hypocrite.” I wait anxiously for her response. I can’t help but groan when her face relaxes again.
“Now come on Izzy, sit down” her face is pinned into a smile but there’s a slight edge to her voice, its working.
“Fine then, I’ll sit at this stupid table and eat your rank food.” I shout, flinging out my chair. This time her face contorts in response and her eyes go dark.
“That’s it young lady! Go to your room this instant!” she barks.
I scowl and march out of the door, making sure to slam it for effect as I leave. The hallway remains uninhabited. Perfect.

Chapter 2
The night air is cool on my feet as I walk briskly down the street. Every house I pass hosts small incomplete families eating dinner but I don’t pause to stare, I don’t have time for staring.
I don’t know where to go. I know it has to be somewhere private, somewhere no one will find me but where I can fly properly. Every alley seems too small or too open and exposed, so I walk on, further and further until the urban streets wind into country lanes. It’s a clear night, with the moon replacing the cities bright lights. The wind is cool against my body, making me hyper aware of every sense around me. I reach a deserted hillside, where I can look down over the city of Bath. Millions of lights glow brightly back at me, contrasting the night sky with a silent tranquillity. I feel ready.
Taking a large gulp of air I pull out the red jacket from my rucksack. Its old, tattered and several sizes to large but it provides a welcome comfort from the cool night air. A thin smile spreads across my lips, in excitement, curiously and slight smugness. Maybe I am among millions but at present, with this exhilarating feeling of self pride and uniqueness coursing through my veins, it does not matter. Nothing else matters.
I zip up the jacket and step forward, towards the steep edge of the hill side I by some miracle managed to climb. The whole of Bath lays before me, and without hesitation or a second thought of might have been,
I jump.
And then just like that I am flying. I feel that strange sensation of gravity shifting beneath me as I remain floated in the air. Not a second has passed since I jumped, time seems to stand still for me as I make my next move. It’s not really like flying, flying is achieved by some great effort on your arms part, this is more raw unyielding power than I can direct in any way I want. Like an unbalance in gravity which I can control, the more force I press onto one side of my body the larger the distance I travel. It’s a whole sense of 3D that I have never experienced before, where the laws of physics have somehow bent to conform for me. Like I am the exception.





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