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Could I help but get close to him?
No, I don’t think so.
His deep brown yes had the sun shining through them, my reflection was clear, but that’s not why I stared so hard into them. It was because he stared at me the same way I stared at him, I knew it because I could feel it. I just knew we were thinking the same thing.
Both of us stood, staring, thinking, and not speaking. We both wanted the same thing, yet, we were both unsure whether it’s what the other really wanted.
There was only one way of finding out.
I closed my eyes, I could hear him let out a shallow breath when I did.
I felt bad, I hadn’t wanted to look away, but it was the only way to find out. I had to see, I had to know whether I should go on taking the biggest risk of my life to get something I never thought I would get.
I took in a withering breath to steady myself, but it did nothing.
His soft hand touched my face, stroking my cheek, and pushing my hair back from my face.
Should I open my eyes?
I didn’t really have an answer to that.
I could be risking everything I have at the moment if I make the slightest movement. It scared me, because I wanted this really bad.
It was him, always. The one that I knew would be there always, was here with me, and the slightest movement could make him turn away from me forever.
“Look at me,” he murmured, “for five seconds, just so I can think straight, alright?”
I still didn’t move. I was scared he would turn away if I did give him the five seconds he needed.
There was only one way of finding out.
I opened my eyes, looking up at him. If worry was clear on my face I didn’t care. I was worried.
He smiled, for just a second, and then it was gone.
I blinked and got ready for what was coming in the next few seconds.
One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi, four Mississippi… five Mississippi.
And then he kissed me, and my whole world fell into place.
It barely lasted a few seconds before he pulled back and stared at me. This time he was worried, and it was clear on his face.
I smiled, just for a second, and then I stopped. Then I took a step forward, and kissed him. This time it was longer, more real; lasting. It didn’t matter if I’ve never kissed another boy in my life, or that this was all knew to me, it fit. It didn’t matter when I was with him, it was right. What I knew and didn’t know wasn’t a problem, because with him I did know. I knew what to do next, and what I wanted, and what he wanted.
We kissed, finally. It was the best moment of my life and we both knew it. None of us let go, we were around each other for too long without this that we needed to fill that empty space now.
We didn’t stop kissing. We could go on forever. All the natural disasters in the world couldn’t break us apart.
My heart beat was racing; I fought with myself to stay kissing him. Not even the need for air would pull me away from him.
He knew I needed to breathe again, to restart my heart before we could kiss again. He pulled away slowly and gave me one small kiss on the lips.
He took my hand and kissed it, pulling us away from the water. We lay down in the sand this time; next to the water so that it washed half way up our legs.
“I don’t want you to leave me,” I told him. It sounded like a greedy thing to say, but we both knew it was what both of us wanted.
“I’m never going to leave you,” he said quietly. I looked him in the eye, he stared back at me with eyes that glowed, and I knew he wasn’t lying. That was fine with me, because I was never going to leave him either.