Dirty Laundry MAG

April 2, 2009
By Zero_K DIAMOND, Moosic, Pennsylvania
Zero_K DIAMOND, Moosic, Pennsylvania
83 articles 0 photos 435 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life's no fun if you're not insane, otherwise you grow up to be an accountant." -Moi


He is your world. He is the one you would live and die for. You love the color of his skin – different from yours – the perfect balance between light and dark, day and night. You love the way he tells you he loves you. He says he'll marry you someday.

But your mom does not approve. You wonder every day how anyone can be so bigoted. Has she not felt the way you do at some point in her life? She doesn't understand, just rants and raves about your “taste in men” in that nasally voice you hate – the one she only uses when she's angry.

Later you sit on your bed, and turn up the volume on your iPod. “All the Same” by the Sick Puppies blasts through the ear buds.

Wrong or right … black or white … if I close my eyes … it's all the same.

Your mom has forbidden you from seeing him again, and Dad's taken to keeping a shotgun in the living room.

In my life … the compromise … I'll close my eyes … it's all the same.

You remember telling him you were afraid but that you wouldn't stop seeing him. He asked you to run away with him, just drop everything and run, figure it out as you went. But you said you wanted to wait and see if it would blow over. The look in his eyes was sad, as if he knew your parents would never accept him.

You hop off your bed and start shoving clothes into an duffel bag, making a trip to the bathroom for your toothbrush. You head to your desk and stare blankly at a piece of paper, pencil in hand. You write a quote that has been in your heart from the minute your parents told you that you were making a big mistake. It's short, but it's all you need to say.

You head down the hall to the laundry room. Your mom has piles of clothes on the floor, organized by color. You grab bits from every pile and toss them to the middle, creating a mound no longer separated into lights and darks.

Green, yellow, red, blue, black, white – all heaped into one huge pile. You lay your message on the top. It doesn't say who you're with or where you're going, but it wouldn't be hard to figure out.

“Laundry is the only thing that should be separated by color.”



Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 453 comments.


Zantesha said...
on Oct. 24 2011 at 5:56 pm
Zantesha, Spartanburg, South Carolina
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
'There's two sides to a story, but only one side to the TRUTH*' -Zantesha :]

this reminds me of the time i was with someone that was of a different race, && it touched my heart...especially the ending line <3 :]

on Oct. 24 2011 at 3:16 pm
iluvrockandroll2 PLATINUM, Tinton Falls, New Jersey
22 articles 0 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you're wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn't love you anymore."
— Lady Gaga

love it!!!

on Oct. 24 2011 at 11:51 am
rachelwilson SILVER, Paris, Tennessee
5 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I went thirty minutes without seeing something of remebrance to you.. but then again,.. my eyes were closed.." -Rachel Wilson

If this is a true story played into this. I'm actually in that boat right now. You have me in tears! Thank you. This is beautiful. Continue to write!

on Oct. 24 2011 at 10:06 am
hobo12321 PLATINUM, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
20 articles 11 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
none, there's too many, although the one about the grapefruit is good. Any by Douglas Adams

Wow... Just... Wow, the emotion that the character feels is so clear, and the moral is so true!

on Oct. 24 2011 at 9:39 am
I think second person was really the right feel for this piece,  it brought dimension to your story.  That quote--awesome--really tied everything together to end with a bang.  Great message, great story!

on Oct. 19 2011 at 7:45 pm
Dancing2222 GOLD, Sandy, Utah
10 articles 0 photos 59 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be yourself, everyone else is taken."
"Imagination is more important that knowledge" -Albert Einstein
"Don't ever frown, you never know who's going to fall in love with your smile."

I love that quote at the end:)

irishlass317 said...
on Oct. 9 2011 at 12:06 am
irishlass317, Jefferson City, Missouri
0 articles 0 photos 137 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I asked Jesus 'How much do you love me?' He answered 'This much.' And He streched out His arms and died."

I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!! this piece is amazing!! keep writing!!!!!!

on Oct. 2 2011 at 8:10 pm
queennels17 PLATINUM, Wellington, Florida
21 articles 8 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
The sun is out but it's still dark outside.

This is amazing, I was crying the whole time. Beautfiul! 

on Oct. 2 2011 at 6:43 pm
fearless789 BRONZE, Franklin, Tennessee
1 article 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." --e.e. cummings

I love the second person viewpoint that you have. Great! Amazing lesson!

JulianneV GOLD said...
on Oct. 2 2011 at 4:51 pm
JulianneV GOLD, Shamong, New Jersey
17 articles 17 photos 27 comments

Favorite Quote:
Be the change you want to see in the world. ~ Gandhi

This is amazing! I loved it so much!

on Sep. 16 2011 at 6:42 pm
juliam PLATINUM, Windermere, Florida
21 articles 4 photos 60 comments

Favorite Quote:
All of us learn to write in second grade. Most of us go on to greater things

I read this about a year ago, and loved it then. I just wanted to say that now, reading it back, it's no less wonderful. This truly has a great message but, more than that in some sense (and less in others), the writing is unbelievable. Truly utterly superb. 

. said...
on Sep. 10 2011 at 3:54 pm

Wow. That's a really touching message. I love it!!! Great job :)

P.S. I love Sick Puppies too!


tomato face said...
on Sep. 10 2011 at 3:13 pm

it is great, u hav a lot of potential

 


d.l.breaux said...
on Sep. 10 2011 at 2:26 pm
d.l.breaux, New Iberia, Louisiana
0 articles 0 photos 8 comments

No, of course not. You didn't offend me, I completely understand that different people have different ways of reading. I think part of taking that out though, would leave more for the reader to think about. You actually have to put the pieces together - the boyfriend talking about running away, packing the bag, getting the toothbrush, writing the note and leaaving it - and figure out what she's doing. 

"Show don't tell."


on Sep. 10 2011 at 1:00 pm
Rocinante SILVER, Wexford, Pennsylvania
7 articles 1 photo 386 comments
WOW!!! You're amazing! I loved the last line, that was the clincher for me: "Laundry is the only thing that should be separated by color"!!! Keep on writing! And the second person perspective, you really pulled it off, that must be hard! Great job!

on Sep. 10 2011 at 11:24 am

This story was incredibly stupendous and contemperary! I loved the realistic tone!

I am starting this game that will help everyone to get their work more to the teenink world (and maybe the rest of the world). It is a game called Big Words. To play this game (this is going to sound dumb, but hear me out) you can start by reading my short story called "Purple-face Tom". After you finish the story, you comment on it, and within your comment, use a big and/or fancy word and bold it. When I see this comment, I will read at least 3 of your works, comment on all of them and rate all of them. If you like this idea, spread the word, please. I would love to see us all connected through our work as friends and fellow critics on this site. :)

 


on Sep. 10 2011 at 11:18 am
I actually kind of liked how the author wrote, "It doesn't say who you're with or where you're going, but it won't be hard to figure out." because some readers (like me) are a little slow to catch on that she is leaving with only a note in her wake. I don't mean to critisize you at all (I am so sorry if I have offended you in any way, shape or form). I just wanted to state that  everyone is different in their techniques of reading (that sentence doesn't sound right, but I hope that you understand and don't take any offense).

on Sep. 10 2011 at 7:04 am
musicisthegoodlife GOLD, Daegu, Other
17 articles 1 photo 8 comments
Love the quote :) Nicely written.

d.l.breaux said...
on Sep. 10 2011 at 3:05 am
d.l.breaux, New Iberia, Louisiana
0 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Good concept, needs some work. Take it out of the second person, you're not telling me what to do or predicting my future. That's what it sounds like you're trying to do. Take it into first person, and there you can add personal thoughts and feelings if you'd like, or put in third person limited. Also, in the beginning, make it more clear that this forbidden boyfriend/crush is of a different race. The wording is just a little odd, and it's not 100% obvious. Don't say it explicitly, just make me clear of what he looks like. Lastly, I don't think you need to tell the reader "It doesn't say who you're with or where you're going, but it won't be hard to figure out." Since you tell exactly what the note says, there's no need to describe what it says. By reading "Laundry is the only thing that should be separated by color," your reader knows that the note "doesn't say who you're with or where you're going."

Overall, it's a fantastic piece. I love it. If I didn't love it, I wouldn't take time to give you my opinion. This piece just needs a little tweaking. 

Good luck! :)


on Sep. 8 2011 at 6:36 am
singinginthegardn GOLD, Cowell, Massachusetts
16 articles 2 photos 158 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say." ~Anaïs Nin

This is so amazing!! I love the point of view <33 and the quote is breath-taking!! :)




MacMillan Books

Aspiring Writer? Take Our Online Course!