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I Shudder, I Cry, I Wish You Weren't Here Right Now.
I step out into the blinding dark. I wipe my eyes with my sleve. I hear someone behind me calling my name "Jou! JOU!"
I shudder. Stepping out into the street, I just continue walking. I want to go to the park. Still, someone behind me is calling my name "JOU!"
The vioce sounds urgent, as if I shouldn't be walking away, but I ignore it anyway.
Crossing the road, I enter the vast park. The dark is still wrapping around me, and the voice is still calling to me from behind, "Jou! Come back! PLEASE!"
I almost stop. The person the voice belongs to never says "please". Ever. It meant that they were worried. VERY worried.
I start to run. Even though I can't see, I know where I'm going; I've been to the park more than enough to know where I'm going.
I know I'm standing near a bench. I curl up in it, pulling my knees closer to my chest. I shudder again, letting loose tears that I had previously denied were there.
I hear the voice, body and all, come up next to me. The tears still pour down my face. 'Go AWAY!', I think. I am too out of breath to yell. 'Please, GO AWAY. HAVEN'T YOU HURT ME ENOUGH DAMN IT!?'
You start to speak, "Jou. I'm sorry. I didn't mean... I mean... We agreed that it would be best... and, well, SHE kissed ME..."
I cut in, suddenly gaining my breath, "But YOU didn't STOP! YOU seemed to enjoy it!" I jump up and spin around to face him, "Why!? I know, we agreed it would be best for your PR, but to KISS her!?"
He steps back, sounding defeated, "Jou... I mean... What would the press THINK? Your from the hood... You were in a gang when you were TEN... What would the press THINK...?"
I stomp, "I KNOW. You're a big CEO of some huge company. You have to date some big star, NOT some washed out tough girl who was in a gang... BUT KISS HER!?!?"
He scoops me up in his arms and whispers into my hair, "I know Jou, I know. I didn't plan for her to kiss me, and I sure as hell didn't kiss her back. You can count that I will stay faithfull."
I look up at him, "But you will still be ashamed of me. You'll still date that... that... HO-"
He cuts in, "Her name is Natalie."
I shake this off, "I KNOW her name. I 'll just stay your dirty little secret. The hidden stain on the only twenty-year-old CEO's jacket, right? That's what it's going to be like."
You pull me in even closer, "No, Jou. Tommorow, I am going to make our relationship public," He gives me a chaste kiss, "I promise."
He pulls me in for another kiss and I kiss him back. 'You know what?' I think 'I'm glad you're here.'