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Doubtful

His lips met mine, and the rain poured around us. He was there, standing in front of me, but there was still that doubt in my mind. My doubt that this was real, and the only reality was me laying in my bed, waiting to awaken any minute. But this couldn’t be a dream, I kept telling myself, he was standing in front of me. His crystal blue eyes smiling at me with such love it made my heart want to burst. This feeling couldn’t be something my mind made up in a dream, could it? This thought made tears form in my eyes and I felt one find it’s way down my cheek. He looked at me with confusion and concern. “Did I do something wrong?” He asked me. I shook my head, trying to force a smile, but I failed. “What’s the matter?” He asked, genuinely worried.

I took a deep breath and dared to look up at him in the eyes again. “It’s just that I’m afraid I’ll wake up and this all be a dream, or worse.” I sniffled and he waited for me to finish. “Or that you’ll wake up and realize that there are so many better girls out there than me.”

Another tear fell down my cheek and before I knew it the little tear droplets were getting bigger and more and more were falling down my cheek. He wiped them away and tucked a lock of my hair behind my ears. “Don’t you get it?” He asked me with what seemed like disbelief in his voice. “I don’t want any other girls. I want you,” He kissed me on the lips softly, “and only you.”

I couldn’t help but smile as I brought my hand up to his face. I looked deep into his eyes and all I could see was love. “Yeah, right now.”

“Right now.” He agreed with a nod, and I could already feel my heart start to break, but he continued, “right now and forever.” he kissed me. “and ever- and ever- and ever.” He kissed me between evers and I couldn’t help but giggle. “I love you.” And this made my heart soar.

“I love you, too.” I said truthfully as I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him long and hard. “I love you so much, that I’m afraid it’ll drive you away.”

“Honey,” he tucked another strand behind my ear. “You could never drive me away, I’m the one that should be worried here. Not you.” He said and something flashed through his eyes then. Was he afraid of losing me just as much as I was afraid of losing him?

“Justin,” I whispered. “You do not need to worry about me leaving you. I love you, now and forever more. You are the guy I’ve been looking for. The one I’m actually afraid of leaving me rather than I’m afraid of messing up around.”

The rain stopped, and a ray of sunshine glistened around us, and he kissed me with so much love, I couldn’t help but feel no more doubt.





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