Every hour I had to spend in his boring school walking around these boring halls filled with boring faces aged me. Aging unlike fine wine, High School made me bitter. Not bitter with a hint of sweet fruit, just bitter. But around my friends, it was a whole different ball game. I'm naturally the clown of the group, but also the motherly one that always has bad aids in her purse for when her friends get a papercut. My group of friends was diverse, a few boys and girls. Always laughing and getting into trouble. But in the end it was that one boy who stood out; my best friend.
It was never weird between us, I always looked at him as my little brother. We laughed, and joked about each other's love life's. We texted and sent stupid pictures back and forth. He was my partner in crime. We occasionally were mistaken for a couple, but we always shrugged it off saying, “We’re best friends. That’s it.” For a year he had been my go to for any situation. None of my girl best friends compared to the dramaless attachment I had with him. We were always there to help, yet embarrass each other. He was always shoving and pulling me into students through the hallway. It was us against the world, until the night of the dance.
I wore a standout lace red dress, my makeup and hair contrasted the look perfectly. I felt like a glamorous movie star headed to the Met Gala. I went girl friends, not with him. It was dark on the floor dancing my heart out when we first made eye contact. Time slowed down, it was just him and I again. From across the floor he smiled shyly, like we were strangers never before seen to each other. His girlfriend turned him from my gaze and something in my heart clicked quickly, but disappeared the moment I looked away. The night continued on with endless punch and crowded dance floors.
The next week we continued with our daily routine. We walked together, laughed together, killed time playing games throughout the halls. We were best friends. That's it.
But ever since the dance I felt different emotions. I saw the world through new eyes, I saw him in a new light. Just one look changed everything. We stood outside Chemistry class, talking about sandwiches or football or just gossiping. He stopped me in the middle of my sentence, “You have….right….there.” He pulled the hairs out of my face and ran his hand down my cheek slowly. We looked into eachothers eyes and I forgot how to breath. My heart did that weird thing and it was painful and I didn’t like it. We were best friends! That's it!!
The following weeks included more hand touching, closer talking, and more flirty laughs. I found myself staring at him during class, he always looked back and smiled. I blushed when I saw him. He was the added sugar to my bitter wine. Months went by and I finally looked at him and realized, I was in love with my best friend.
We sat alone one night in his room working on a project. His room was outfitted with pristine decor from Pottery Barn. Spotted on the wall were a few pictures of him playing sports, some of family. But his room didn’t represent his bright identity as it should. For three long hours we had been working away on our Math project, my eyes began to droop. We continued to laugh and work on our diagram but as the night grew deeper we faded away. I was planning anyway to spend the night on the couch in his room, his parents loved me and trusted us alone together. Nothing would ever happen, they knew we were just friends.
But I didn’t fall asleep on the couch, neither did he. We fell asleep around midnight on his bed. And we woke up lying close to each other, immediately jumping apart awkwardly. I panicked and grabbed my things, I needed to go. This couldn’t happen, yet he disagreed. He called after me as I hastily was trying to get out of his house. He stopped me at the door, “Don’t leave.”
I tried to shove past him but he was a wall. I took a deep breath, again closer to him the I ever imagined I would be. I dropped my things when he looked at my lips. “Please don’t leave.”