Goodbye; Revisioned

October 23, 2017
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This was it, he was actually leaving.
I stared from a distance, at the boy I had known for so long.
"How could I manage without him?" I questioned myself quietly. He talked with a few friends that had gathered for his going away party. I looked him up and down again, trying to memorize his lean body and his beach blonde hair.
He stood leaned over the counter laughing along with our friend Ayanna, and Tears threatened once more. God, I couldn't do this, not now, not after everything me and him had been through. He looked through the small crowd of people, And after seconds, found me. He gave me a soft smile, and I tried with everything in me, to return the favor, but as i found myself trying, a tear had managed to escape, and My half smile turned into a quiet sob.
He looked back to Ayanna and the two other guys, Aiyden and Brice, muttered something I couldn't make out, and had started making his way over to me. I brushed through my hair once with my fingers, and slightly smiled. At least he made an effort to talk to me today, I silently brooded. "hey." he smiled politely and It sent butterflies off in my stomach. "Hi..." I whispered, looking into his mossy green eye's. "So you gonna miss me?" We both sat at the second couch that had been on the other side of the living room. He gave a cocky grin and made me smile hard. my cheeks felt like they could cook a soup. My eyes misted up, and his grin faded. "Z?" he question my teary eye's. "I'm gonna miss you a lot Ander," I smiled quickly trying to keep the rest of the tears at bay. "But, the reason you're leaving, is a good one, it's not like you're just going to fall on the floor and Die,, you have to be someone too." I looked away, towards the bunch of friends that still sat in the Livingroom of Ander's house. "I won't hold you back." I continued meeting his gaze once more. "I won't be that friend to you." His shoulders slumped and he pulled me into an embrace. "I'm sorry I have to go Z, but I'll be back I promise." I still laid on him, half hugging half holding on to this small piece of infinity we had. I was losing the boy I grew up with, the boy who had always stood up for me in school, who had been as protective as a boyfriend yet as sweet and actually caring, as a real friend. I submerged a sob into his black V-neck shirt and he pulled me closer. Memories played in my head as My time with him slowly ticked away. My mind replayed one particular seen, It had been a cold winter night, my mom and dad had been bundled with my little sister on the couch, and Ander and I had placed blankets and pillows for us to lay on the floor. We were Watching Lilo and Stitch. The Stitch with a Glitch one. There was one scene where stitch had messed up Lilo’s room and My sister suppressed a sob. “What's wrong?” mom had asked her, pushing Riley’s hair aside. “It’s just, maybe God gave me a glitch too, that’s why I have to have chemo.” The room had became scarily quiet, and at that point dad had stopped the movie, and him, mom, me and Ander had sat there staring at her. “Your chemo treatment is not because you have a “Glitch” Riley, it’s because God thinks you’re strong enough to handle a small set back, Okay? She nodded to Mom, and looked back at the T.V. waiting for dad to press play, and he did. We stared at the television, but I had my mind stuck on Riley. My baby sister, didn’t deserve to be cursed with this pleuropulmonary blastoma. I wanted to cry.
After the movie, Ander and I had been cleaning up the blankets, and popcorn, When We heard a thud in the kitchen, like stainless steel on concrete. “What was that!?” Mom had called from her room. “ZOEY!” I heard from Riley’s room. I rushed in there, and she was sprawled on the floor, and her oxygen tank, had fallen. “Riley, it’s okay, I’m here.” I grabbed her arm and she smiled at me, with such love and hope my eyes teared up. Ander had appeared at the door, with my mom and dad right behind him. I had gotten her up and in my arms, but when I took them away, she collapsed once more. She stared up at us, “I love you guys, she barely managed. “Don’t cry anymore, Okay.” Her voice had barely came out as a whisper, she smiled again, and her eyes closed. Mom had pushed passed me and Ander ran for the phone. My dad had picked her up, trying to coax her to open her eyes, but I knew, this was goodbye. She was gone. The memory melted away and tears stung my eyes,  I couldn’t lose another person, so dear to me. ”It's okay, I pleaded with myself, He's coming back soon, he promised. He’s not going to die. He looked back at the clock above the Couch and his face hardened. This was it, He is actually leaving.
We both got up from the black leather couch. "Well," he said his face still turned to the ticking clock hands. "I have to go, but Zoe, remember, I love you." He turned to face me again, and My eye's widened. H-He loved me? My stomach lurched and I stared into his eye's. He loved me. my mind repeated. The guy I had been in love with for years already, Finally said He loved me back. "I love you too, Ander Lee Ross.” I smiled and before I had time to blink, His lips were on mine. Something exploded inside me and I had to fight to keep my knees from buckling. It was full of longing, passion, and hope. Somewhere behind us, cheering and clapping had arose. I pulled away and He chuckled. So, what happens when you get back, I inquired. "You'll be all mine," he grinned. "But for now, I really do have to go," he turned to the chair behind him, Grabbing his jacket and Waved to the Crowd that had just finally settled down. He pulled me into another hug and smothered me. "I'm gonna Miss you Zoe." he murmured. "I'll miss you too." my eyes swelled with tears again. We both pulled away and He took a step back. I took his scent in, loving that he had always smelt like the warmth of summer, and leaves. "Bye," He smiled. "Bye, I love you." I replied softly more to myself. He gave me one long look and finally walked out.
I smiled as he pulled out of the driveway. He trusted me to take care of his house, his dog, and his heart. I mused to myself.
With one last look of him riding down the road, in his quirky Toyota. I whispered to the summer leaves.
This isn't Goodbye, Ander Lee Ross," "Not yet."
~His eyes were my infinity and his heart was my beyond~






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