I never knew what love was, the biggest lie I ever heard was “I love you” boys just say the thing that you want to hear. I’ll never forget the one that I claimed to ‘love’ and then the tragedy of how it all ended and crumbled into twisted feelings. Eighth grade year I met a new friend I truly believed that we would always be friends but things didn’t go the way I believed it would. As always the typical boy coming between you and your friend, well he didn’t come between us, she just wasn’t a true friend.
Here’s a little background about the guy, he had the most amazing smile that would glisten and be in sync with his dimples that were deeper than the ocean. His eyes were like dark coffee swirls, and his personality was like no other. I knew him for a long time and never got the chance to show it till the summer of going to freshman year. My so called best friend knew how much I wanted to be with him but little did I know that she did too. We would spend endless nights together talking over the phone having deep conversations and laughing like two little kids. Kids that’s a key word that’s what we are and were, we didn't know anything but we knew right from wrong.
Ah the best friend, they knew the feelings, they knew the way I was “in love” with him but she did something that I didn’t expect coming like a shark waiting to attack. We were together for about six months, I was happy and he was too but I didn’t know that they had developed feelings for each other overtime. The hurt was realistic, it hurt so bad where it hurt my chest because my heart was shattered. The person that I trusted the most was a stranger, the person that I could’ve told everything to was gone. I was alone and through that pain I never forgot the feeling. I used to blame myself and put myself down that I wasn't good enough but that wasn’t the case, I was more than good enough. I always considered their feelings before mine and I always do but it opens up an opportunity for vulnerability.
The pain was indescribable seeing someone who once made you happy be happy with someone else. The pain was true and the feelings died off after I met someone new but it wasn't the same. I would still miss him but then I realized that I didn't need him or wanted him anymore. Why would I still think about someone who didn't want me. I learned from my mistakes but my heart will be fixed another time, but for now it’s healing process will take a while. I am extremely happy and found new friends that have stuck by my side and found a person that likes me for who I am and for everything that I have to offer.