We’ve known each other for practically our entire lives, but only recently have I seen you clearly: my eyes are open to the possibilities between us. I never intended to send this letter—I think I am too much of a coward to do so. Maybe one day you’ll give me the courage. I hope that I am right about our connection, that it’s deep and true and only beginning to blossom.
You were different from the start. Though at times sweet on other men, I felt your character had a different flavor. Like a rose tea I’d grow more and more fond of with time, with persistence. All the men I was drawn toward held their eyes in a different direction, and held me in contempt or, worse, indifference.
Always sweet and cute, you started us from afar. I spent many rough nights with hot tears streaming down my cheeks and hopelessly lost and ready to let go, but then you started us. I remember one agonizing day when I went to see my English teacher. We were in the same class. She told me you read my paper, practically raving about how talented and wonderful I was. Your words shone a beacon of light in my direction, in the darkest and most tumultuous of times.
To have a genuine person fill the emptiness within my heart, take off the mask I show the rest of the world, and love the starved creature before you is a phenomenon I can scarcely believe to be true.
With the other men, I fell in love with their masks. With you, I saw through your mask. I fell in love with the man I saw underneath.
Our wounds run deeper than the nile, but we’re healers. We’re misunderstood, but we understand. Alone we’re cowards, but together we’re fearless.
I dream of us all day and night. I want to be close to you, hug you, kiss you—but I don’t know how. Together, we can traverse any obstacle, any adversity. All for those few words you spoke so many years ago, words you’ve likely long forgotten, a sea of potential lies before us.
For now, this letter will remain sealed shut. My mind in conflict with my heart. Maybe one day, when I’m a bit braver, I’ll have the courage to slip this letter under your door. Or hand it to you directly, and look into your eyes as you look into my heart.