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Now and Then

I began to notice things about him. I saw the way his eyes were ivy green, speckled with hazel spots. I remarked the way his hair was slightly pushed back and always parted to the right. I knew that he would get dimples every time he smiled and that his laugh was a higher pitch than his voice. I noticed everything about him, and at some point, he began to notice everything about me. To a certain degree, I was afraid of falling in love. I didn’t want to become dependent on some guy who would eventually just break my heart. I wanted to be strong. But what I realized as I fell in love for the first time is that love makes people weak. I felt weak when he brought me flowers on our one year anniversary or when he sent macaroons to my hotel room on my birthday. I felt weak when my world came crashing down because of him, only to have him pick it back up hours later. I feel weak because my mood depends on him and he still gives me butterflies. I wanted to be strong, but I learned that being in love meant that you don’t have to be strong all the time. Then again, I’m only seventeen so what would I know about love?

They were in love for a long time. People thought that they’d be together forever. As kids do, they graduated and went their separate ways, but they stayed together. For a while it was good. They would call and text constantly, so if they tried really hard, they could almost make themselves believe they were still right next to each other. Then it all started to fall apart. Slowly at first, then all at once. She felt him becoming more and more distant. The calls and texts began to dwindle. She thought that she could ignore it until it was all okay again, but little did she know that it would never be okay again. Of course, while he was off at college having the time of his life, he found somebody prettier, funnier, smarter, and all around better than her, so he did what any other person would do, he broke her heart. She cried a lot after that, but then one day she just stopped. She closed herself off and once again was the girl who was afraid of falling in love. She now knew that she was stupid to think that she didn’t have to be strong all the time, but then again, she was only seventeen, so what would she know about love?






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